Fear: What is the Best Avenue of Approach When Trying to Overcome Fear?

[LightSun]

Fear: Can Fears Along With Phobias be beaten? What is the Best Avenue of Approach When Trying to Overcome Fear?


Quote:
"The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek." Joseph Campbell


Quote:
"Men are not prisoners of fate, but only prisoners of their own minds." Franklin D. Roosevelt


Quote:
"To stand in the fire of your deepest fears in passionate pursuit of your highest dreams is to rise to the realm of the legends." - Robin Sharma

 

[rav3n]

Consider the definition of courage. It's not about having no fears, it's about pushing through fear, in order to take the right action.

“I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.”

― Frank Herbert, Dune

Unless it's a healthy fear, like fear of poisonous spiders, I practice exposure therapy on myself. An example would be my fear of heights. I deliberately stand on the edge in glass elevators where it's safe but still triggers my fear. This way, the irrational fear won't prevent me from skiing since I love the sport. Decent skiing requires chair lifts and even on the chairlifts, I force myself to look downwards.

Don't forget that fear is a healthy emotion since it prevents you from doing stupid things. It's when it's irrational, hence preventing you from living a full life, that you need to get a handle on it.

 

[Qlip]

Fear canbe good if apportioned appropriately. Be more afraid of the stuff that'll happen to you if you avoid doing the scary thing than the scary thing.

 

[Luminous]

Fear canbe good if apportioned appropriately. Be more afraid of the stuff that'll happen to you if you avoid doing the scary thing than the scary thing.

Very wise.

 

[Virtual ghost]

For me fear is more or less just a consequence of the lack of understanding how things work.

 

[Luminous]

For me fear is more or less just a consequence of the lack of understanding how things work.

But one can be, and often is, afraid of things that are perfectly realistic and likely to happen...

 

[Virtual ghost]

But one can be, and often is, afraid of things that are perfectly realistic and likely to happen...

That is why I said "for me". Once I have understanding or at least general understanding I can just push through and start to convince everyone that needs to be convinced. Since understanding means that you can establish full control over the situation.

En 5 is afraid of not knowing, once you know, you accept it or work to change it.

Correct.

 

[anticlimatic]

It's hard to do things you're afraid of doing. Starting the thing is tough enough, but it doesn't get any easier the whole way through. It's kind of like trying to operate heavy machinery while drunk. Hyper vigilance and glass brittle tension aren't always the best psychological lubricants for braving new things- and often make you a lot worse at the thing than you normally would be. Silver lining- if you can manage to pull it off once, that's as bad as you're going to do at it. All further efforts will get better/easier, just have to grab your sack and get over the first hill.

There's really only one fear, and that's the unknown (which includes injury/death). Get over it by learning via experience (knowledge almost counts, but it's really just a poor man's version of experience). Save death for last, though. That's an OK fear to keep until then.

 

[Luminous]

That is why I said "for me". Once I have understanding or at least general understanding I can just push through and start to convince everyone that needs to be convinced. Since understanding means that you can establish full control over the situation.




Correct.

It's hard to do things you're afraid of doing. Starting the thing is tough enough, but it doesn't get any easier the whole way through. It's kind of like trying to operate heavy machinery while drunk. Hyper vigilance and glass brittle tension aren't always the best psychological lubricants for braving new things- and often make you a lot worse at the thing than you normally would be. Silver lining- if you can manage to pull it off once, that's as bad as you're going to do at it. All further efforts will get better/easier, just have to grab your sack and get over the first hill.

There's really only one fear, and that's the unknown (which includes injury/death). Get over it by learning via experience (knowledge almost counts, but it's really just a poor man's version of experience). Save death for last, though. That's an OK fear to keep until then.

I find your points of view fascinating...

But what about say, something like tornadoes? What if you are afraid of tornadoes? You cannot control them. You cannot make them come about to directly experience them.

 

[anticlimatic]

I find your points of view fascinating... But what about say, something like tornadoes? What if you are afraid of tornadoes? You cannot control them. You cannot make them come about to directly experience them.

I file that one under fear of death. It's a good one, might keep you out of places with tornados.

 

[Virtual ghost]

But what about say, something like tornadoes? What if you are afraid of tornadoes? You cannot control them. You cannot make them come about to directly experience them.

First, my picture of reality is so dark that towns hit by tornadoes look like family picnik to me. (and I don't think I am blowing things out of proportions)


On the other hand your claim isn't really true in my book. Building more massive multi layer houses from bricks and concrete would greatly reduce the damage, the same can be said about building the structures deeper into the ground. Having a warning system also helps since tornadoes aren't random thing that just happens and they are created under certain atmospheric conditions. They generally aren't too big in dimensions and therefore it could be possible to disperse them with strong explosions inside their structure, if you are at the right time and place. Also by changing the properties of the atmosphere you can effect greatly how common or strong they are.


However the point isn't really about "Is the thing truly dangerous ?", it is that you have the understanding with which you can potentially counter the problem. (tornadoes are still work in progress)

 

[j.c.t.]

Just do it.

 

[Nomendei]

If there are 50% or more chances to survive it, do it!

 

[rav3n]

You miss 100% of the shots you don't take. - Wayne Gretzky

 

[Coriolis]

The best approach to fear is understanding combined with preparation. We can't always understand everything that might happen, but by learning as much as we can about the situation and considering possible outcomes, both positive and negative, we can put some bounds on our risk so it becomes calculated. Or, to paraphrase [MENTION=4347]Virtual ghost[/MENTION], we understand as much as we can, so we can control as much as we can, and be as prepared as possible for the rest.

I find your points of view fascinating...

But what about say, something like tornadoes? What if you are afraid of tornadoes? You cannot control them. You cannot make them come about to directly experience them.

You cannot control them, but you can control your response. You can decide to seek shelter. You can secure or take along your valuables. You can keep insurance on your property, and even shore up the construction of your home to make it sturdier. If you live in an area prone to tornadoes, you can move elsewhere. Or, you can make an emergency plan for what you would do if your home were damaged or destroyed by a tornado or other natural disaster. I find for myself once I have considered and addressed these possibilities, the fear itself subsides quite a bit. Now if a tornado came on suddenly and I didn't have time to get to proper shelter, I'm sure I would be afraid just for my physical safety in the moment, but that is just a small aspect of dealing with something like a tornado.

 

[LightSun]

The best approach to fear is understanding combined with preparation. We can't always understand everything that might happen, but by learning as much as we can about the situation and considering possible outcomes, both positive and negative, we can put some bounds on our risk so it becomes calculated. Or, to paraphrase [MENTION=4347]Virtual ghost[/MENTION], we understand as much as we can, so we can control as much as we can, and be as prepared as possible for the rest.


You cannot control them, but you can control your response. You can decide to seek shelter. You can secure or take along your valuables. You can keep insurance on your property, and even shore up the construction of your home to make it sturdier. If you live in an area prone to tornadoes, you can move elsewhere. Or, you can make an emergency plan for what you would do if your home were damaged or destroyed by a tornado or other natural disaster. I find for myself once I have considered and addressed these possibilities, the fear itself subsides quite a bit. Now if a tornado came on suddenly and I didn't have time to get to proper shelter, I'm sure I would be afraid just for my physical safety in the moment, but that is just a small aspect of dealing with something like a tornado.

Coriolis wrote, (1) "...best approach to fear is understanding combined with preparation."


I agree understanding dis-inhibits some fear. The fear of the unknown sadly contributes to a lot of superstition.

(2) "...combined with preparation."

In the behaviorism field is a strategy called desensitization. The way it goes is we break down our fear into smaller components then make gradual and successive steps to reach our intended goal.


(3) "...can't always understand everything that might happen... learning... possible outcomes, both positive and negative..." and "...bounds...our risk so it becomes calculated."


It is a necessary skill to problem solve. Part of problem solving requires a pro's and con's checklist to make a more informed decision. .


(4) "...possible outcomes, both positive and negative..."


If one is grounded this is a safe thing to do. If however someone has neurosis they may compound the problem by overthinking.


(5) "...we understand as much as we can, so we can control as much as we can... be...prepared as possible for the rest."

Sensible.

 

[Mole]

When I enter the cloud of unknowing, I feel a sharp instinctive fear because I am giving up voluntary control and I am vulnerable, l can be wounded so no wonder I feel sharp fear. But I persist and pass over to the other side where delight replaces fear.