fear of conflict

[greenfairy]

I realized I'm afraid of conflict, and why. I unconsciously expect people to get angry and then shun and ostracize me, yell at me, or threaten me with violence. In short I expect people to overreact and behave way out of proportion to the situation.

Not that I've experienced a whole lot of this. That's the unconscious mind for you, and Ti distrusting emotions, then projecting negative things onto Fe.

 

[Dudesowin]

See though if conflict does not happen then tension builds and the outcome worsens. Lots of small playful improvisational conflict helps build morale.

There is nothing wrong with anger or violence. The problem enters when it never manifests and resolves becoming hatred buried deep subconsciously in a grudging bias.

The easiest way to avoid hurtful situations are to imagine the other person comically think popeye or some other toonish figure. Put on a funny face. Speak in a calm voice if its someone of the opposite gender speak in little baby terms and if possible laugh.

 

[greenfairy]

I know there is nothing to fear, but it is an unconscious reaction over which I have little to no control. And there may not be anything wrong with violence as long as it doesn't do harm, but I don't want someone to be violent to me if I don't invite it.