Fear: Better to have too much or too little?

[yenom]

You fear nothing? I wish I had some way to test you. To me lack of fear implies lack of understanding, but it does confer amazing benefits. Insensitivity to fear allows you to accomplish truly amazing things.

I don't have a problem with fear except to the degree that it interferes with Life. Some fears are useful in avoiding problems that would unnecessarily impact my life. Other fears are purely ridiculous and these I would gladly slough off.

The root of fear is pain itself. Any pain can induce fear. To say one has no fear means one has no fear of any form of pain.

 

[Thalassa]

It's much better to have too little, even though that can either be viewed as jaded on one end of the spectrum, or stupid/naiive on the other. People who have too much fear sometimes don't fully live their lives. Too much fear is boring.

Anxiety attacks are also hell.

 

[Halla74]

You fear nothing? I wish I had some way to test you. To me lack of fear implies lack of understanding, but it does confer amazing benefits. Insensitivity to fear allows you to accomplish truly amazing things.

Dear Synarch, let me explain. Why does Alex fear nothing? The answer is twofold:

(1) I have accepted that I am a child of the universe, and that since God is in my heart, when I die on this Earth I will pass on to what lies beyond this world, or at minimum have an eternal blissful sleep, and...

(2) Since I have faith, I am not afraid to die. Since I am not afraid to die, I am not afraid of anything.

A few months ago a man threatened me at my office. While I was seated in my chair at the computer, he threw a punch at my head and stopped it within an inch of my skull in an attempt to induce fear. I did not flinch, I did not blink, I looked him in the eye and said "I am not afraid of you. You are a pathetic weakling. Get the fuck out of my office now."

I reported him to HR as that type of shit is inappropriate at the workplace, and I'm not stupid enough to crush him in front of everyone and then have all who would have witnessed see me, the big guy beating the little psycho to a bloody pulp. He got even more pissed when HR talked with him.

Then he waited for me in the parking lot and tagged my rear bumper with his car's front bumper trying to block me in my parking space. He rolled down his window and said "I hit your bumper! What are you going to do?" And I said "Simple. I'm going to call the police, and then I'm going to sue you. You are not worth my time." My boss saw the whole thing and testified as such. The psycho has been fired, I got a restraining order against him, and now I'm lining up the dominos needed to take a considerable amount of his assets in civil court. I actually lost my job over this incident but that is another story. So now I can sue my former employer too. Yay! There goes my student loan debt!

I will not back down. I've been hit several times, and I've done my fair share of hitting. It doesn't feel good for anyone involved in a physical confrontation the day after the fighting is done, but the body heals. Pride and self esteem are just as important to maintain as physical health. I'll be damned if I let anyone disrespect me, or anyone I love. At this point in my life I am very confident in my ability to defend myself, but I am also smart enough to know which battles are truly worth physically engaging in, and which are better to win by more civilized means.

So test me as you wish. I'm not squeamish of simple things either like bugs, snakes, rats, whatever. I used to work in a pet store when I was in high school. I love inclement weather, especially thunderstorms and hurricanes. I've witnessed a tornado blaze through my town when I was in 5th grade. When I was a kid Baderr-Meinhof terrorists called in bomb threats to my elementary school, shot at my Dad and other GIs while they were at their office, and bombed a few vehicles in my housing area (then the whole place was encircled in barbed wire, had a police ccheckpoint at the front wentrance, and armed military police with German Shepherds patrolling the neighborhood). I've been in the ER after a car accident, someone pulled a knife on me in college, and I've survived all kinds of stupid shit. If all this shit hasn't killed me or made me a fearful wreck, I don't think it's going to happen.

 

[NewEra]

Too little fear is much better. Because no matter what happens, you still feel comfortable. In my opinion, fear is the worst emotion (if you can call it an emotion) that anyone can possibly have. Fear is much worse than anger, sadness, jealousy, defeat, etc. That's my opinion.

In fact, I've been known to say to people I know, having too much confidence is far better than being too cautious.

 

[stellar renegade]

Those are awesome stories, Halla. You are my new hero!

I've walked the streets of Seattle for three days and two nights without food or water, just for the heck of it ("finding myself" was a huge part of it). I walked through a dangerous neighborhood at night without blinking an eye. I had a horrible supernatural-seeming experience where I felt like I was about to die and I literally felt as if I were burning in the very flames of hell, not even being able to put one thought together.

I tried to find my way back, very confused (the streets are labeled the same as on the other side of the bay) and completely frustrated to tears.

The next morning I thought about food and drink for the first time, shared some snack cakes with a homeless man and swallowed them down a swollen throat. I asked for a cup of water at Starbucks but didn't get any and so just walked on, found a map and set on my journey back (my legs were aching from three days of constant walking).

On the way back I was walking on the edge of a bridge as a huge diesel truck roared past me. I felt a breeze which kind of made me lean just a bit to the side, and the thought of falling over flashed in my head. All of a sudden, I realized I didn't have even an ounce of fear at the thought.

The only thing that was on my mind was getting back to my second family to tell them I was ok.

 

[Penda]

Humans were designed only to be truly afraid of situations that are life threatening, like being chased by a tiger or a crazy knife wielding lunatic. In modern society, we have generalized this response in order to become afraid of just about everything. You don't need fear not to do something stupid, just common sense and good values. Provided one lives in a safe and reasonable society, fear only prevents someone from living life to the fullest.

(I only wish I could convince myself of this...)

 

[Halla74]

...fear only prevents someone from living life to the fullest.

Yes! Irrational fear is called "anxiety," is it not? Anxiety has ruined people's lives, and that is sad as it is very treatable with a combination of meds (in the short term) and therapy (I'm a big believer in cognitive behavior therapyin the short terma nad long term). My wife has been manageing her anxiety with great success and used minimum medication. The CBT is working in the long run.

 

[hommefatal]

Can't decide. Both ideas are horrible.