Onceajoan
New member
- Joined
- Apr 22, 2010
- Messages
- 239
- MBTI Type
- INFJ
- Enneagram
- 1w2
Is it common for ENTPs to have emotional walls? And for these emotional walls to come about rather suddenly?
Hello. Welcome to my world with my ex.
For example, a guy I've been seeing on and off four years, but for all of the last four months (who is an ENTP in every single way) was perfectly fine a couple of days ago. He was caring, loving, completely into me. But on Monday night, he pulled this "I don't feel anything towards you, not even as a friend. You are just a f..." amongst other horrible, cruel things. This was all very sudden and completely three sixty. Some of it could have to do with him leaving for the army in three months and he said that he does not want to be attached to someone. He was frightening in how unemotional he was from a couple of days before.
(Disclaimer: I'm generalizing here - talking about my ENTP ex) But the funny thing is about an ENTP is that he is being emotional - "I don't feel anything towards you (followed by) You are just a f..." is not a sign of indifference. The ENTP puts up this facade "I don't feel anything. I don't feel anything. I don't feel anything", when, in fact, he does. The idea of feeling so intensely scares the hell out of him too - it's as if his brain has been hijacked. You are right to suggest that he may be upset/sad about leaving for the army and is lashing out at you. Not exactly mature behavior. But when a person lacks self awareness and an conscious awareness of their feelings, that's what often happens. He can't articulate in any other way (I think more often than not when unhealthy). This is what I experienced in relation to my ex.
IWhen I asked him why he was doing this when I haven't done anything, he said, Yes I know you haven't. It's just how I feel. Now go. And with that I was forcibly removed from his house as he said, "I feel nothing. I am empty inside."
Denial. He does feel something even if he can't articulate it. If you're out of sight, maybe you'll be out of thought (or more appropriately feeling). The emptiness is not being able to identify how he feels. Hence, the numbness and emptiness. My interpretation anyways.
ITomorrow we are meeting on my request, because frankly I'm rather confused.
I think you've interpreted the situation quite well. I bet, it's just not how you handle such situations.
Is it common for an ENTP to just...emotionally lockdown like that? And for what purpose? I'm rather confused and frankly thinking that someone that able to emotionally switch on and off, should be locked up....
ENTP shuts down and retreats when overwhelmed by emotions. The unhealthy ENTP (again, thinking of my ex) cannot identify emotions or express them, for the most part.
I don't think that's type related.
No. Any type can be angry, irrationally, immaturely and act insensitively. However, I believe that ENTPs tend to utilize certain strategies and defense mechanisms when dealing with overwhelming emotions (if they are unhealthy - maybe if they are healthy). DENIAL of emotions is one defense. INTELLECTUALIZATION & RATIONALIZATION are others - going into their head and detaching from the situation emotionally - disappearing - not being present in the moment - dissociating. Being able to rationalize because they have detached emotionally from their actions - therefore they do not need to take responsibility or "feel" the impact their action has on others. Perhaps these are extreme examples of ENTP behavior, but I wager that you would be less likely to witness this with an NF. NFs have their own set of defenses but they don't experience their response to emotions in the same way. NFs don't tend to go in their head as much. They have less difficulty identifying their emotions or the source of their emotions.
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