Wild horses
New member
- Joined
- Oct 25, 2008
- Messages
- 1,916
- MBTI Type
- ENFP
know exactly what you mean about holding back on the playfulness such a shame but my life could be sooo much more fun if people didn't take things so seriously
know exactly what you mean about holding back on the playfulness such a shame but my life could be sooo much more fun if people didn't take things so seriously
So after converseing with another ENFP we both realise that other people tend to "fall in love" with us very quickly. Not saying that its "true" love their feeling but rather they grow very attached and think they fall in love, not sure rather or not its real. So it makes casual dateing very difficult, hell to tell the truth I havent casually dated since I was in middle school and of course that doenst count lol. So what im wondering is if this is a common thing for ENFPs like us and if your not an ENFP what is it like dateing us.
I know we are pretty much the cupid of personality types and relationships, especially intimate ones, are our biggest concern. But I didnt realise how powerful of relationship masters we can be, even with out conscious thought we make others "fall in love" with us.
So all thoughts appreciated.
Do any other ENFPs have problems with people "falling in love" with the IDEA of them, but not really them? Lately, it seems that guys REALLY love the exterior friendly happy me. All infautated and crap. And, I try to tell them that there is more to me, but they will not believe me... until they do. and by the point, I'm usually screwed over because I have found a way to idealize them so much that I am having my own sort of "falling in love" with the real them... as they are "falling out of love" with the real me...
Which I guess I mean is what the original poster was saying... so basically, I'm being redundant... heh.
Have been reading this thread with growing amusement at how applicable most of these traits are to me! (I'm new here - so it's all very exciting )
Eg - people falling in 'infatuation' with me super-quick, taking my friendliness as flirting, odd obsessions with 'cold' people due to fascination with the puzzle they present to my inquisitive people-orientated ENFP nature....
(Side note: 'CaptainChick', I think you and are alot alike - other than you're seeming to be more secure than I! The 'INFP' within, you see....)
Aaaah. How good it is to be amongst enthusiastic like-minds
That's my...errr...kind of irrelevant two cents worth.
Just randomly, do any of you ENFPs know any ISTPs in real life? Have any ISTP friends? What do you think of them?
Simply put introvert (harder to realize is there) sensor (assumes is there, quite happy about surrounding objects) thinking (taken by most as holding boring topics) perceiver (in tune to others perceptions, original way of looking at the world.)
Usually athletic looking, although probably comes off as weird or creepy. The loner who is happy to just get his point out there in the open, prefers a conventional way of thinking which I heard is attractive to ENFPs. Innovative though stubborn. Likes people with an obscure presence.
I think the ENFP draw is that we are kinda insane. I've been told many times that people feel they can show more of their crazy side with me. If they haven't felt like that before with someone they might feel it's something other than just my personality.
My mom (i think ESFP) has said before "I could always get the guy, I just couldn't always keep him" I think it could be similar with enfp if people are just all up in the magic of our personality but not us individually.
p.s. Viv, I always assume it's "B"
And this happens with friendships too, I don't know if anyone has noticed.
Odd, I find you curiously resistible.I didnt realise how powerful of relationship masters we can be, even with out conscious thought we make others "fall in love" with us.
you guys all make ENFPs look like horrible flakes
Yes, making them feel at home and at ease and "enchanting" them.
Intoxicating? Illusionary? Too sweet? Too friendly?
And I do back off also when they start falling too soon too fast cuz I don't think they really know me -- how could they love me? How could it be real?
Validation is what will really drive us to pursue what we want. You may both be stringing each other along not realizing it, both not understanding what is going on. Afraid to provide the validation and afraid of abusing the power you have over each other. This is unconditional love at its finest. The more desperate he gets the more power he will give you to pull him closer and the easier it will be for him to make the decision. ISTPs are very patient people when it comes to those that they really care about.