[ENFP] ENFPs being CRAZY about someone

[Queen Kat]

With me it starts with infatuation, then it turns into addiction and when I'm addicted I can't properly detox. That is why I decided that I should try not to "like" people anymore.

 

[Moiety]

With me it starts with infatuation, then it turns into addiction and when I'm addicted I can't properly detox. That is why I decided that I should try not to "like" people anymore.

Do you like yourself?

 

[Queen Kat]

Do you like yourself?

I like myself more then anyone else and I wish to keep it that way.

 

[Virtual ghost]

I like myself more then anyone else and I wish to keep it that way.

This at least explains the avatar.

 

[Queen Kat]

This at least explains the avatar.

Yeah, cows are sweet.

 

[2XtremeENFP]

If I am in a committed relationship, and my craziness starts to cease (since we've been dating for a while, and all the WOW YOURE AWESOME feelings die down) I think my idealistic side doesnt let me wander away since I keep thinking that in a month or two, what if I get the crazy's again? It's like a love cycle for me. its awesome, its moderate, it's boring its moderate it's awesome. Over and Over. keeps me entertained...

 

[Clonester]

I don't really get "grass is greener" during a relationship. I do it before one. I'm choosy before so I don't get it during.

 

[Kyi]

Hmm, an INFJ did this to me. Took someone whom he thought was better than me. Now I'm currently dating an INTJ. We'll see how that goes.

When I like someone, I daydream and fantasize about what could happen, might happen, would like to happen.. but I don't really expect any of those things to really happen. Sometimes I get lost in those thoughts and get obsessed with wanting them to be true.

I just like to pretend in my mind that they COULD be that perfect mate. They are most often not that person but... you can dream right?

 

[boondocked]

Anybody else tried ENFP on ENFP?

I just did, with an ENFP who'd liked me for almost a year prior. One night I finally felt the same and then we were together, riding the headiest of ENFP highs. My friends commented on how 'in love' we were, though we certainly never described it that way. It was just really, really intense, was all. We did all the fun we could think of, like sneaking onto a museum lawn to play drunken midnight croquet and getting purposefully lost on a nearby island.

And then, all at once, we split. It's like, all the intense feelings were always true and real, they were just unbelievably transient. Sucks, though, because we attend the same grad school and see each other daily. And now he's with another ENFP from his past, which makes me feel a bit jilted. Anyways, I think in my next relationship I'll go for something more stable.

So, yeah, anyone else have ENFP/ENFP battle stories?

 

[CzeCze]

This is what scares me about ENFPs... and I mean no offense by it. Just being real.

Same.

No, no, no not necessarily an ENFP thing?

It also depends on the ennegram too! And how old fashioned we are? ENFPs are not all perpetual school kids with crushes (no offense to other ENFPs, you know what I'm talking about )

I'm an Ennegram sexual type which means I am especially intense with people. Muy muy intense.

I do know the exhilration of infatuation and also of light romances. Sometimes they are one and the same, sometimes they are very distinct from one another. Not every situation or infatuation is the same.

When I fall, I fall hard, I fall fast, and I stay down for the count. 1) It is "for real" 2) There is no pre-stamped expiration date

I do not get the concept of love dwindling or getting bored or eyes wandering. At all. Because when I know I'm with you or I madly desire to be with you, it's over. Stick a fork in me because I'm done, son! I believe in 'the real deal' and when I strike gold I know things are over for me because of the way I'm wired. I have stayed infatuated or in love with people WAY past the point I should have, when things were HORRIBLE, when I was poorly treated when it was clearly and totally not workingn out, when logic and common sense clearly pointed in the other direction. I was seriously in the grips of old school biblical passion.

In other words, yes, I go mother flippin' craaaaaaaaazy when it comes to matters of the heart. It's seriously exhausting and time consuming for me and something I've tried to deal with by avoiding serious romance or infatuation et. al. but saying that to an ENFP is telling an addict to stay away from crack.

When it comes to this topic of love and 'grass is greener', ENFPs fall into consistent but distinct camps. The OP is in one camp and I'm another. Infatuations are meant to be temporal and fun. But the real deal hits me at my core and stays there. Even if the "real deal" is just a very poor excercise in judgement. I'm hopeless.

IRL some people I've dated have had reservations like Beat or Lauren Ashley's quotes because I give off an "easy come/easy go" vibe I guess. They would question my motives or ability to 'commit' or 'be serious' and in the end it only ended up biting me in the ass. And not in a good way!

Usually when people doubt your ability to be in a relationship or legitimacy or depth of feelings they adjust their own behavior and expectations accordingly and it can never work out. And yet, it seems some other ENFPs have the opposite problem of people OVER estimating their desire and ability to have LTRs when the ENFP is not serious or likely to get cold feet. What gives? It's not fair! *Harumph*

I've decided when it comes to matters of the heart that peopel speak in opposites. So now whatever they tell me in the initial stages of dating I flip and I will also end it on the spot in the future when I know the person is not willing to do what I want to do.

Because being motherflippin crazy about someone is a particular form of hell and it is even less enjoyable when it's done with the wrong person.

 

[Cranky]

Because being motherflippin crazy about someone is a particular form of hell and it is even less enjoyable when it's done with the wrong person.

That's true for absolutely everybody.

 

[Lady_X]

Anybody else tried ENFP on ENFP?

I just did, with an ENFP who'd liked me for almost a year prior. One night I finally felt the same and then we were together, riding the headiest of ENFP highs. My friends commented on how 'in love' we were, though we certainly never described it that way. It was just really, really intense, was all. We did all the fun we could think of, like sneaking onto a museum lawn to play drunken midnight croquet and getting purposefully lost on a nearby island.

And then, all at once, we split. It's like, all the intense feelings were always true and real, they were just unbelievably transient. Sucks, though, because we attend the same grad school and see each other daily. And now he's with another ENFP from his past, which makes me feel a bit jilted. Anyways, I think in my next relationship I'll go for something more stable.

So, yeah, anyone else have ENFP/ENFP battle stories?

 

[Lady_X]

No, no, no not necessarily an ENFP thing?

It also depends on the ennegram too! And how old fashioned we are? ENFPs are not all perpetual school kids with crushes (no offense to other ENFPs, you know what I'm talking about )

I'm an Ennegram sexual type which means I am especially intense with people. Muy muy intense.

I do know the exhilration of infatuation and also of light romances. Sometimes they are one and the same, sometimes they are very distinct from one another. Not every situation or infatuation is the same.

When I fall, I fall hard, I fall fast, and I stay down for the count. 1) It is "for real" 2) There is no pre-stamped expiration date

I do not get the concept of love dwindling or getting bored or eyes wandering. At all. Because when I know I'm with you or I madly desire to be with you, it's over. Stick a fork in me because I'm done, son! I believe in 'the real deal' and when I strike gold I know things are over for me because of the way I'm wired. I have stayed infatuated or in love with people WAY past the point I should have, when things were HORRIBLE, when I was poorly treated when it was clearly and totally not workingn out, when logic and common sense clearly pointed in the other direction. I was seriously in the grips of old school biblical passion.

In other words, yes, I go mother flippin' craaaaaaaaazy when it comes to matters of the heart. It's seriously exhausting and time consuming for me and something I've tried to deal with by avoiding serious romance or infatuation et. al. but saying that to an ENFP is telling an addict to stay away from crack.

When it comes to this topic of love and 'grass is greener', ENFPs fall into consistent but distinct camps. The OP is in one camp and I'm another. Infatuations are meant to be temporal and fun. But the real deal hits me at my core and stays there. Even if the "real deal" is just a very poor excercise in judgement. I'm hopeless.

IRL some people I've dated have had reservations like Beat or Lauren Ashley's quotes because I give off an "easy come/easy go" vibe I guess. They would question my motives or ability to 'commit' or 'be serious' and in the end it only ended up biting me in the ass. And not in a good way!

Usually when people doubt your ability to be in a relationship or legitimacy or depth of feelings they adjust their own behavior and expectations accordingly and it can never work out. And yet, it seems some other ENFPs have the opposite problem of people OVER estimating their desire and ability to have LTRs when the ENFP is not serious or likely to get cold feet. What gives? It's not fair! *Harumph*

I've decided when it comes to matters of the heart that peopel speak in opposites. So now whatever they tell me in the initial stages of dating I flip and I will also end it on the spot in the future when I know the person is not willing to do what I want to do.

Because being motherflippin crazy about someone is a particular form of hell and it is even less enjoyable when it's done with the wrong person.

hugs babe...it's not easy being an enfp

 

[Thalassa]

I've known someone for almost 8 years now who I still am capable of feeling that way about. Of course I am not married to him, and we dated on and off (mostly on) for the first six years we knew each other. But I'll get angry at him (we are both very intense, very individualistic F people) and say I'll never speak to him again, then I'll talk to him one day and I'll once again be continually amazed at the strength of our bond, how much time, space, and bullshit that it's trancended, and frankly worry about myself. The only comfort is in that it is mutual.

So I can safely say that it is possible to be "crazy" for someone for years and years, even if it's not a constant thing. You can't feel that way constantly about anyone, it would take too much energy, and it's just not realistic because day to day life can be stressful and/or boring.

At least I know I've been in love, though, really in love. I can honestly say he's the only person I've ever felt that way about. It's like if we never got back together again, he'd still be like my brother, like part of me.

But even aside from him I've always been intense. And aside from him my relationships have been really intense, then poof! gone, like what did I see in that person?

 

[MmmCrazy]

I don't understand... why are people scared off by this intense love instead of being flattered by it? I would be thrilled if someone worshiped me like this.

 

[CzeCze]

I don't understand... why are people scared off by this intense love instead of being flattered by it? I would be thrilled if someone worshiped me like this.

Perhaps ENFP + ENFJ is a perfect pair? LOL. Also...even in the throes of passionate love (or lust or infatuation) it's not quite like an ENFP worships the object of their affection. It's more just like there is a large amount of energy and intensity of focus thrown in your direction. Because of the nature of Fi, even if we did put you on a pedestal, you might not interpret it that way. Then again, you might just like it.

I think there was an ENFJ I went to college with. She was very charismatic as well as very good looking (and straight). I was kinda in awe of her and she knew it but then she was that kind of person and was probably used to being impressive to people. She definitely was the kind of person that could and did ask things of you that you would otherwise find off putting but for her you might just do it and not complain. So I could see how an ENFP who is intensely into someone could go well with someone who basks in the attention.

Unfortunately, when I think "intense" now the words "quarreling" and "roller coaster" also come to mind. Some people prefer a more tranquil experience.

 

[Rachelinpa]

I don't understand... why are people scared off by this intense love instead of being flattered by it? I would be thrilled if someone worshiped me like this.

i agree. it's weird.

 

[Lauren Ashley]

No, no, no not necessarily an ENFP thing?

It also depends on the ennegram too! And how old fashioned we are? ENFPs are not all perpetual school kids with crushes (no offense to other ENFPs, you know what I'm talking about )

I'm an Ennegram sexual type which means I am especially intense with people. Muy muy intense.
...

IRL some people I've dated have had reservations like Beat or Lauren Ashley's quotes because I give off an "easy come/easy go" vibe I guess. They would question my motives or ability to 'commit' or 'be serious' and in the end it only ended up biting me in the ass. And not in a good way!

I agree...Of course you could never say one type does one thing all the time. There will always be exceptions and maturity, life experience, Enneagram type D) etc have to be taken into account. However, one can not ignore correlations.

It's not about the vibe the person gives off, it's just that I've seen it happen too many times and in a similar manner to call it coincidence that all of these people had the same type.

I don't understand... why are people scared off by this intense love instead of being flattered by it? I would be thrilled if someone worshiped me like this.

The topic somehow branched from what the OP was addressing particularly.

It's not the love that people are saying they are scared off by, it's the sharp decline in feelings that follows. One could say this happens with everyone, but what is meant in this instance is going from extremely intense feelings for a person to having next to no feelings at all for them.

 

[Wyst]

I don't understand... why are people scared off by this intense love instead of being flattered by it? I would be thrilled if someone worshiped me like this.

^10

 

[Wyst]

Are you guys crazy about someone? Does this exist naturally? Or, does it take an effort to keep those feelings maintained?

I'm kind of starting to think that romance is fantasy...

I really feel like I'm crazy into someone in the beginning, buuuut... then it dwindles... and I wonder if it's ever possible to have it where the feelings are constant...

In a relationship, is it just supposed to be like a comfortable friendship with occasional chemistry-like sparks?

I'm convinced that love isn't a feeling.

Love is a decision and a commitment. Think about how holleywood's functioning definition of love is supposed to work. Beautiful woman, handsome man, both rich.. happily ever after? Many stars can't keep their marriages together despite everything they have going for them. So what happened?

Parents love their children no matter what. Yeah, kids misbehave and need discipline, some kids more than others. But it's because a parent loves their kid that they discipline them. They may not be like, "Awww, I remember how cute you were when you were 2 mo. old.. NOW C'MERE and get your spankin'!" It's tough on a parent to love their kid by disciplining them.

Romance and those feelings that go along with getting to know someone comes from pursuing someone/being pursued. As soon as the pursuing/being pursued ends, those feelings will most likely end. I think if those feelings start to dwindle, it's time to get out of routines and revive what you had before. But no one does that just to 'feel' that way again. They do it because they love the other person.

But what do I know. I've only had two 2-month relationships lol