[ENFP] ENFP and ENTP relationship

[Dr Mobius]

Yes! I'd love that

7 sx/sp/so sounds right to me. I'd love to hear this analysis to better understand his side of things. I hate when I don't understand a person's point of view when I've had a conflict or disagreement with them. I'd love to understand better!

No problem all of my explanations are based on your first post in this thread.

He used to laugh openly at my ideas sometimes, but had a lot of short-sighted judgments from my point of view, which made him seem like he was being a jerk.

I also wanted to explore my spirituality more, and really didn't feel supported in that at all by him. He laughed at me about it, and made fun of what I was doing.

These two points are I believe are one and the same, but what is interesting about it is that it unusual behaviour for an ENTP. ENTPs aren’t usually big on mocking and belittling people at whim, in immature ENTPs it’s often a defence mechanism for wounded pride (or sometimes a tool). The pride of immature ENTPs often resting on being oh so very clever, the easiest and laziest way to show it is to be able to win an argument , or to come up with a rationalisation of their world view that conveniently encompasses some of their worst behaviours. Then at some point someone comes along to tear down these mental constructs and bam prideful ENTP throws a tantrum. But it is a directed tantrum intent on getting back at the perpetrator; it’s not a universal misanthropic approach. But I’ve just remembered reading something on the enneagram institutes website about enneagram health levels, and lo and behold at level 7 the 7 is prone to being offensive and abusive. hmmmm I possibly have an explanation for his behaviour, but it is going to be based on a pet theory of mine, so take it with a grain of salt. Actually I think I’ll put it under a spoiler tag so you don’t have to read it if you don’t want.

I have been toying with this idea ever since reading character and neurosis, which has the only seven description I’ve ever read that seems like it is a head type. Seven descriptions usually talk about the prevalence of addiction, and the need to constantly mindlessly act. Which has never made sense to me a seven is a head type, but what it describes is something that would better fit a gut type. A head type’s growth is based on stopping the neurotic over thinking and finally acting on those thoughts, while a gut type’s goal is to stop immediately reacting to everything, to stop and consider the action.

The next part deals specifically with entp and enneagram seven. an enneagram seven’s disintegration point is enneagram one, when an enneagram one goes off the rails, they start to become obsessed with their own personal standards, and how no one is meeting them, they end up lashing out demanding that the world around them complies to these standards. Now you combine this with a ENTPs quite grandiose thinking, always bigger, better, always more, and tertiary Fe (adhering to social standards), and you have a recipe for disaster. actually one last thing to remember about enneagram seven is that the way they over think is to mentally run away from the problem, it’s the I have an assignment due in two hours and instead I am on the internet and have fifty tabs open none of which have anything to do with the assignment, a need to always seek a mental distraction.

All of these points converge at the ENTPs entry to the downward spiral towards complete disintegration. it starts with the enneagram ones standards, for an ENTP they will always be based on the social standards around them of a sense what they should have accomplished at any given point at time. The further down the rabbit hole the ENTP travels the more delusional those standards become, every action the ENTP takes is found to be insufficient, and in the end the ENTP holds himself up to such an impossible standards; that nobody could ever actually meet them. The ENTP doesn’t see any of this because he is still mentally running from the problem, even though it affects every single thing the ENTP does. It renders the ENTP as less then worthless in his own eyes, only the ENTP hasn’t stopped running to actually see, see that if his actions were analysed from a detached perspective the only conclusion would be that the ENTP is in fact brimming with delusional levels of self-loathing. This is where the ENTPs self-destructive tendencies start to show up pushing others away and screw themselves over, attacking everyone and everything, for not meeting those impossible standards. This precedes the point where the ENTP will turn all of this inwards, and will start to display melodramatic levels of self-pity.

wow I really rambled on, damn my tired brain!

I am a sx-dom ENFP, so I like to make connections with people, and I think that really bothered him. He'd get super mad and say hurtful things when that happened, which in turn pissed me off.

This just reads like instinctual variant envy to me. As an sx/sp he would have I assume had the pull push dynamic going on? One day he was the life of the party intensely trying to connect with people, and the next locking himself in a room for a month pulling the ENTP disappearing act? Where you I imagine as an sx/so have a far more even keeled approach to those around you? I would guess that as a fellow sx dom he also wanted to connect with people, but as a sx/sp he lacked the ability to do it in a fulfilling manner, which in all likelihood you unintentionally where throwing in his face, especially so given your apparent similarities. So in short he was probably extremely jealous and projecting his own incompetence’s on to you.