Malkavia
New member
- Joined
- Dec 2, 2009
- Messages
- 289
- MBTI Type
- ENXP
- Enneagram
- 3w4
The guy who I would consider my best friend is an ENFJ (hes actually tested).
He is charming, attractive, and very intelligent. We are both in college, rooming together, and are probably going to the same graduate school. He's a pretty bad ass guy and I'm lucky to have such a good friend. He's very in tune with people..
...except when it comes to relationships. We are juniors in college and he has never dated a girl even though he has plenty of opportunities. There are so many smart, attractive women who cant keep their hands off of him and he doesnt even notice. For a guy who is so intelligent, he is completely stupid when it comes to women and noticing their moves...or is he?
About a week ago one of our really good friends admitted to me she liked this guy a lot, and has for a long time. I told her to be more aggressive but she just simply wasnt getting it done. Sure she was spending a lot more time with him and it was obvious to everyone around them what was going on, but not to this ENFJ.
A couple nights later I decide to just let him know. He gets very upset that she likes him and says he didn't put himself in this situation and it shouldnt be awkward and it was her fault this is happening. On top of that he sent me (am I a messenger?) to tell her he didn't like her. This (in my opinion) goes against the value system that I have known him to have. Normally he would talk to her himself, but apparently when we talk about relationships he shuts down. He has an emotional wall like the great wall of China, is this normal for ENFJs? For someone who has been my friend for such a long time, we talk about everything, but for some reason we never talk about having relationships. It's very odd to me.
Thanks for listening to me rant guys, hopefully you can help me have a better understand of my friend.
He is charming, attractive, and very intelligent. We are both in college, rooming together, and are probably going to the same graduate school. He's a pretty bad ass guy and I'm lucky to have such a good friend. He's very in tune with people..
...except when it comes to relationships. We are juniors in college and he has never dated a girl even though he has plenty of opportunities. There are so many smart, attractive women who cant keep their hands off of him and he doesnt even notice. For a guy who is so intelligent, he is completely stupid when it comes to women and noticing their moves...or is he?
About a week ago one of our really good friends admitted to me she liked this guy a lot, and has for a long time. I told her to be more aggressive but she just simply wasnt getting it done. Sure she was spending a lot more time with him and it was obvious to everyone around them what was going on, but not to this ENFJ.
A couple nights later I decide to just let him know. He gets very upset that she likes him and says he didn't put himself in this situation and it shouldnt be awkward and it was her fault this is happening. On top of that he sent me (am I a messenger?) to tell her he didn't like her. This (in my opinion) goes against the value system that I have known him to have. Normally he would talk to her himself, but apparently when we talk about relationships he shuts down. He has an emotional wall like the great wall of China, is this normal for ENFJs? For someone who has been my friend for such a long time, we talk about everything, but for some reason we never talk about having relationships. It's very odd to me.
Thanks for listening to me rant guys, hopefully you can help me have a better understand of my friend.