ENFJ or ENTJ - or possibly introvert?

[syndatha]

I'm back and forth whith my type... can someone please play ball with me on this? I myself feel that I am pretty E, but a lot of people tell me that I'm a sure I. I'm often not very talkative in groups, at least not if I have to fight with other Es, but I measure myself very much on what other people think, how I'm perceived - and I'm not really selective whith whom I share personal matters. I have several INFJ friends (seems like I'm an INFJ-magnet or something) - and their secrecy often both annoys and amuses me
Sometimes I can't stand human contact, not even talking to cashier when I'm shopping and things like that. Usually happens when I'm really exhausted, and feel unable to deliver friendlyness/small talk - when I feel unable to perform as usual.

Reasons I'm ENFJ:
I'm not very good with confrontations, hate breaking bad news.

Not interrested in technical/mathematical matters or physics (my husband frequently gives me a headache when he talks about such topics.)

Good whith language (but I sometimes don't talk in "straight lines" - my arguments are sometimes not very logical.)

Idealist - money is not the most important thing in a job for me

An organisations person, lots of volonteer work on my CV

Interested in people - their motivations, what makes them tick

Not afraid of being financially dependent of my husband

Generally cooperative, prefers harmonious relationships

Seem to be identity searching - personality typing is one of my hobbies (and that's not uniquely NF, I know. But I'm not able to settle with one type, and stop looking further.)

Often quite dramatic - things are either black or white

Not able to argue just for fun - it has to be about something concerning my values. I can't defend something I don't personally believe in.

Always was top in my class, but my motivation was to please the teacher. Which gave me a reaction close to depression in university - there were too many people, and impossible to stand out and be the teachers favorite.

Strong motivation to lead, but a fair portion of self doubt about my abilities to do so

Occult/religious interrests - pretty spiritual. And a bit of a missionary about it, I want to convert other people to my spiritual beliefs. I want to build something lasting, organize spiritual communities, design rituals etc.

Have been told several times that I'm a born teacher


Reasons I'm ENTJ:
Not particularly warm and friendly - just normally so

No silly switch here, unless there's alcohol involved (and I normally prefer to drink less, and stay in control of myself)

I often have a hard time identifying my own feelings, but I don't mind sharing whatever I feel if I can find the right words

I don't think my feelings affect other people too much, I don't normally change the feelings of everyone in a room. But I would like to be able to. I sometimes affect people if I'm in a really bad mood.

Mostly in control with how I express myself, manage to be professional most of the time. Probably show my thinking side more frequently than my feeling side - but that has been the norm in most of my work areas, and a key to success (what other people expect of me.)

Not too busy championing others, I'm more busy championing myself

Not a selfless saint (Mother Theresa'ish)


Reasons why I'm neither:
Not extremely charismatic - not a natural public speaker. I think my Ne ruins my communication skills... I don't always make myself 100% understood, and I always forget most of what I actually said afterwards. If possible, I check with someone I trust afterwards if what I said made sense. Sometimes I feel a bit like a loose canon - I don't always trust myself when I speak publically. Sometimes I say things I don't expect myself to say. I'm very comfortable with public speaking, though, and I put myself in situations/positions which require public speaking.


I'm an enneagram 3w2 - which also took me ages to find out. I first thought I was a 7w8 (at age 19) - then an 8w7 (in my 20s) - before I landed on 3w2 when I rounded 30. I was so good at living up to an expected image that I even fooled myself.

I have taken the MBTI and Riso-Hudson enneagram test so many times that I completely see through the tests, and can get pretty much any result that I want

 

[syndatha]

Mirror, anyone?

 

[Glycerine]

I'm back and forth whith my type... can someone please play ball with me on this? I myself feel that I am pretty E, but a lot of people tell me that I'm a sure I. I'm often not very talkative in groups, at least not if I have to fight with other Es, but I measure myself very much on what other people think, how I'm perceived - and I'm not really selective whith whom I share personal matters. I have several INFJ friends (seems like I'm an INFJ-magnet or something) - and their secrecy often both annoys and amuses me
Sometimes I can't stand human contact, not even talking to cashier when I'm shopping and things like that. Usually happens when I'm really exhausted, and feel unable to deliver friendlyness/small talk - when I feel unable to perform as usual.

Reasons I'm ENFJ:
I'm not very good with confrontations, hate breaking bad news.

Not interrested in technical/mathematical matters or physics (my husband frequently gives me a headache when he talks about such topics.)

Good whith language (but I sometimes don't talk in "straight lines" - my arguments are sometimes not very logical.)

Idealist - money is not the most important thing in a job for me

An organisations person, lots of volonteer work on my CV

Interested in people - their motivations, what makes them tick

Not afraid of being financially dependent of my husband

Generally cooperative, prefers harmonious relationships

Seem to be identity searching - personality typing is one of my hobbies (and that's not uniquely NF, I know. But I'm not able to settle with one type, and stop looking further.)

Often quite dramatic - things are either black or white

Not able to argue just for fun - it has to be about something concerning my values. I can't defend something I don't personally believe in.

Always was top in my class, but my motivation was to please the teacher. Which gave me a reaction close to depression in university - there were too many people, and impossible to stand out and be the teachers favorite.

Strong motivation to lead, but a fair portion of self doubt about my abilities to do so

Occult/religious interrests - pretty spiritual. And a bit of a missionary about it, I want to convert other people to my spiritual beliefs. I want to build something lasting, organize spiritual communities, design rituals etc.

Have been told several times that I'm a born teacher


Reasons I'm ENTJ:
Not particularly warm and friendly - just normally so
No silly switch here, unless there's alcohol involved (and I normally prefer to drink less, and stay in control of myself)

I often have a hard time identifying my own feelings, but I don't mind sharing whatever I feel if I can find the right words that's more Fi.

I don't think my feelings affect other people too much, I don't normally change the feelings of everyone in a room. But I would like to be able to. I sometimes affect people if I'm in a really bad mood.

Mostly in control with how I express myself, manage to be professional most of the time. Probably show my thinking side more frequently than my feeling side - but that has been the norm in most of my work areas, and a key to success (what other people expect of me.) Sounds FJ actually

Not too busy championing others, I'm more busy championing myself

Not a selfless saint (Mother Theresa'ish)


Reasons why I'm neither:
Not extremely charismatic - not a natural public speaker. I think my Ne ruins my communication skills... I don't always make myself 100% understood, and I always forget most of what I actually said afterwards. If possible, I check with someone I trust afterwards if what I said made sense. Sometimes I feel a bit like a loose canon - I don't always trust myself when I speak publically. Sometimes I say things I don't expect myself to say. I'm very comfortable with public speaking, though, and I put myself in situations/positions which require public speaking.
ENFJs technically don't use Ne, however ESFJs do.

I'm an enneagram 3w2 - which also took me ages to find out. I first thought I was a 7w8 (at age 19) - then an 8w7 (in my 20s) - before I landed on 3w2 when I rounded 30. I was so good at living up to an expected image that I even fooled myself.

I have taken the MBTI and Riso-Hudson enneagram test so many times that I completely see through the tests, and can get pretty much any result that I want

Bold means I relate to it.

Those are odd reasons for possibly being ENTJ so I am going for ENFJ or ESFJ. A lot what you said in the ENTJ section still sounded a lot like EXFJ. Why do you believe you're a N?

 

[syndatha]

My problem with accepting the F, is that I don't think I'm sufficiently warm and compassionate to be an F. Aren't all feelers warm, understanding and caring? Sometimes I don't give a damn about people (but I would still probably be friendly to their face.)
I read something about unbalanced ENFJ parents with tantrums - (think it was on intjforum) and I can relate to that

 

[Glycerine]

My problem with accepting the F, is that I don't think I'm sufficiently warm and compassionate to be an F. Aren't all feelers warm, understanding and caring? Sometimes I don't give a damn about people (but I would still probably be friendly to their face.)
I read something about unbalanced ENFJ parents with tantrums - (think it was on intjforum) and I can relate to that

F has nothing to do w/ being warm and compassionate. F just means you make decisions more on how it affects others or what you believe. Fs tend to factor in the human element. Most things you have said scream F. You do things based on what people expect of you. T's tend to base their decisions more on logic and efficiency.

EDIT: A famous ENFJ is supposedly Adolf Hitler.

 

[chegra]

I will go with ESFJ

And don't worry about being selfish, most Fs are at a young age.

 

[syndatha]

F has nothing to do w/ being warm and compassionate. F just means you make decisions more on how it affects others or what you believe. Fs tend to factor in the human element. Most things you have said scream F. You do things based on what people expect of you. T's tend to base their decisions more on logic and efficiency.

EDIT: A famous ENFJ is supposedly Adolf Hitler.

Okay - Hitler - Now I'm beginning to be convinced
A guy actually called me Hitler at a party
Of course he had really bad manners, and I was no where near dictatorial. Just a little firm, that's all

I will go with ESFJ

And don't worry about being selfish, most Fs are at a young age.

Certainly not S, but I wish I was a bit more like Martha Stewart. My home is sometimes a real mess - because I spend more time out and about than at home keeping everything tidy
Young age? Thank you! Such a compliment after turning 32

 

[syndatha]

Why do I believe I'm an N?
Sometimes I live so much in the future that I forget about the here and now. I'm moving house next week - and I keep seeing the vision of how the house will be. I know that I will be disappointed when I move in, but the vision of how the house will be is stronger than the real state of the house.

I also build organisations; it's easier for me to see the potential of my organisation than it is for the people around me. I don't build a simple stone church; I build a cathedral (big ideas)

I relate a lot to the "idealist" definition of NF.

I speak in a different language than most people (not referring to being norwegian ) - I felt like an alien during my school days. I don't do trivialty very well.

I tried to comfort some friends who are afraid of flying, and I said that I think of life as a lesson (reincarnation), and that I trust that I'm here for a reason. If I'm "done" with this life, it doesn't really matter if the plane crashes. And if I'm not "done", I trust that the plane will stay in the air. Then I asked them if they believed in a higher purpose in life - and they answerred "no". I was actually quite shocked that they hadn't thought about spiritual matters before. I see them as quite intelligent - but they are obviously not very concerned with the meaning of life

Plus I'm not very good with routine work :steam:

Edit to add: My spirituality is not mainstream, conservative - I'm more of a pagan new age girl

 

[JoSunshine]

I can't really relate to most of the characteristics that you say makes you "ENFJish", however I do know an ENFJ who sounds a bit closer to what you describe. I would definitely think F for sure though. I agree ENFJ or ESFJ.