[ENFJ] ENFJ/ENTJ relationships

[Annaifiwas]

I am an ENTJ who can't get over the fact that so many ENFJs are just sooo lovely and kind. Irresistible even Ah, I'm doomed...
How would a romantic relationship between these two types manifest, and what other factors would play in?

Now, I am not a very strong E, quite on the border, actually, but my functions make me go with ENTJ rather than INTJ or INTP, which I can also relate quite a lot to, but not entirely. J is more likely.

Would such a relationship even be "possible"?

 

[á´…eparted]

We aren't all kind

I quite like ENTJ's and can get along with them quite well. Can't say the same for all of us though.

 

[SearchingforPeace]

Ignore the mistyped one.

All ENFJs are extremely nice and caring. We are giving and considerate people by default.

We get along extremely well with ENTJs. I get along great with all the ENTJs in my life..... my best friend currently is one and we never really have conflicts but just really appreciate each other's dominant function....

I don't know how a romantic relationship would work between ENTJ and ENFJ.....

 

[Virtual ghost]

I am an ENTJ who can't get over the fact that so many ENFJs are just sooo lovely and kind. Irresistible even Ah, I'm doomed...
How would a romantic relationship between these two types manifest, and what other factors would play in?

Now, I am not a very strong E, quite on the border, actually, but my functions make me go with ENTJ rather than INTJ or INTP, which I can also relate quite a lot to, but not entirely. J is more likely.

Would such a relationship even be "possible"?

That depends on Ennegram type. However many ENFJs are 2s and many ENTJs are 8s and 2+8 is considered to be a pretty good match.

The only real problem is potential power struggle, but some people like this one too.



You have "Hi" from another barely E ENTJ.

 

[á´…eparted]

That depends on Ennegram type. However many ENFJs are 2s and many ENTJs are 8s and 2+8 is considered to be a pretty good match.

The only real problem is potential power struggle, but some people like this one too.

You have "Hi" from another barely E ENTJ.

Enneagram had quite the factor when it comes to MBTI matchups. I mean, it makes sense, but it's a good illustration of why patterns with type matchups aren't always consistent, and why there is a decent variety between types.

In my experience though 2+8 doesn't seem to work out as a good enneagram pair. Generally any dissolve/evolve matchup has a good chance to go arwy. To me it seems best when there is little connection in that regard. Also given that 2 is associated with Fe, and 8 is associated with Te, those matches can create quite a pronounced rift between the two.

Ultimately any pair match up has the potential to work out. Given that the OP is a 1 though, I'd think their best match with an ENFJ would be of the 8 variety (which is rather rare though). Though I am bias as I generally see as 8 and 1 to be a really good compliment to one another. Given their opening though, the 2 variety is likely what their drawn to.

As a side note sometimes I feel like the only strong E on these forums

 

[Virtual ghost]

Enneagram had quite the factor when it comes to MBTI matchups. I mean, it makes sense, but it's a good illustration of why patterns with type matchups aren't always consistent, and why there is a decent variety between types.

In my experience though 2+8 doesn't seem to work out as a good enneagram pair. Generally any dissolve/evolve matchup has a good chance to go arwy. To me it seems best when there is little connection in that regard. Also given that 2 is associated with Fe, and 8 is associated with Te, those matches can create quite a pronounced rift between the two.

Ultimately any pair match up has the potential to work out. Given that the OP is a 1 though, I'd think their best match with an ENFJ would be of the 8 variety (which is rather rare though). Though I am bias as I generally see as 8 and 1 to be a really good compliment to one another. Given their opening though, the 2 variety is likely what their drawn to.

As a side note sometimes I feel like the only strong E on these forums

Well, people are much more than their types.

I can only say that I have been quite attracted to female 2s and ENFJs.
However ENFJ/ENTJ is not overly too ideal match, there are similar strengths and similar weaknesses, there is a likey power struggle, plus T/F , Fe/Te divide can be nasty thing in romantic relationships.

Look at me: inferior Fi, Sx last and tritype that is "triple emotionally unavailable". This is likely to be too much for typical ENFJ girl.

 

[Annaifiwas]

That depends on Ennegram type. However many ENFJs are 2s and many ENTJs are 8s and 2+8 is considered to be a pretty good match.

Given 8 is my second strongest enneagram type, how could that play in?

The only real problem is potential power struggle, but some people like this one too.

Power struggle, that's just a turn on from my side

 

[Annaifiwas]

Enneagram had quite the factor when it comes to MBTI matchups. I mean, it makes sense, but it's a good illustration of why patterns with type matchups aren't always consistent, and why there is a decent variety between types.

In my experience though 2+8 doesn't seem to work out as a good enneagram pair. Generally any dissolve/evolve matchup has a good chance to go arwy. To me it seems best when there is little connection in that regard. Also given that 2 is associated with Fe, and 8 is associated with Te, those matches can create quite a pronounced rift between the two.

Ultimately any pair match up has the potential to work out. Given that the OP is a 1 though, I'd think their best match with an ENFJ would be of the 8 variety (which is rather rare though). Though I am bias as I generally see as 8 and 1 to be a really good compliment to one another. Given their opening though, the 2 variety is likely what their drawn to.

As a side note sometimes I feel like the only strong E on these forums

Now, taken I am bisexual, would there be much difference between a female and male ENFJ?

 

[Annaifiwas]

Well, people are much more than their types.

I can only say that I have been quite attracted to female 2s and ENFJs.
However ENFJ/ENTJ is not overly too ideal match, there are similar strengths and similar weaknesses, there is a likey power struggle, plus T/F , Fe/Te divide can be nasty thing in romantic relationships.

Look at me: inferior Fi, Sx last and tritype that is "triple emotionally unavailable". This is likely to be too much for typical ENFJ girl.

So you think sx/so (which I am) would have a better shot? Tritype 137.

 

[Virtual ghost]

Given 8 is my second strongest enneagram type, how could that play in?

Power struggle, that's just a turn on from my side

Yeah, power struggle can be fun but only if it is done right and for fun. However if this is a real and hardcore struggle then this is no fun at all.


Ok, because for me 1 is always also somewhere near the top. I have quite a bit of 1 traits but I lack basic fears of e1 and arrows towards 7 and 4.
However there is no real answer to this question, everyone is individual and it is impossible to tell if this will work or not unless you have concrete people.

The best I can do is link something like this and get you thinking.

LINK

 

[Virtual ghost]

So you think sx/so (which I am) would have a better shot? Tritype 137.

Sure, you are much more open, expressive and fun. What can attract Fe doms. (with those stats are basically half Fe dom)

 

[á´…eparted]

Now, taken I am bisexual, would there be much difference between a female and male ENFJ?

I'm gay FWIW. It doesn't really change all that much between gender in my experience. At least, insofar as personality type. The main feature is one gender tends to have slight apperance bias to some types over others. i.e. F's being associated with female, and T associated with male. As well all know though there really isn't much of a gender divide there though.

Well, people are much more than their types.

I can only say that I have been quite attracted to female 2s and ENFJs.
However ENFJ/ENTJ is not overly too ideal match, there are similar strengths and similar weaknesses, there is a likey power struggle, plus T/F , Fe/Te divide can be nasty thing in romantic relationships.

Look at me: inferior Fi, Sx last and tritype that is "triple emotionally unavailable". This is likely to be too much for typical ENFJ girl.

Yeah, when Fe and Te don't mix it can be terrible . There was an ENTJ 8 in an activity group I help lead a few years ago. When we were on the same page we were an amazing team, got shit done, and were doing a lot of carrying for the group. When we didn't agree though it was BAD. I almost decked him in the mouth once for being a deliberate prick to me when I told him to stop. We got along the vast majority of the time though.

Yeah in your case that could be too much. Then again, there are some 2's I've met that like emotionally unavailable people as they'll see it as a project to "bring them out of their shell and find the warm center", in that classic 2 manner.

 

[Annaifiwas]

Yeah in your case that could be too much. Then again, there are some 2's I've met that like emotionally unavailable people as they'll see it as a project to "bring them out of their shell and find the warm center", in that classic 2 manner.

How lovely... The ENFJ in mind is a 2

 

[Virtual ghost]

Yeah, when Fe and Te don't mix it can be terrible . There was an ENTJ 8 in an activity group I help lead a few years ago. When we were on the same page we were an amazing team, got shit done, and were doing a lot of carrying for the group. When we didn't agree though it was BAD. I almost decked him in the mouth once for being a deliberate prick to me when I told him to stop. We got along the vast majority of the time though.

Yeah in your case that could be too much. Then again, there are some 2's I've met that like emotionally unavailable people as they'll see it as a project to "bring them out of their shell and find the warm center", in that classic 2 manner.

Yes, but all relationships have "sooner or later it will be a mess" element, therefore if you have 2 strong personalities the odds are that mess will be epic.


Well I don't consider myself to be emotionally unavailable, however people accuse me of this all the time. (therefore I presume I am, in this matters opinion of others has advantage)
The truth is that 2s have some traits that I admire, since they are my weak spot and I have love deficit at the moment. However in real life my natural partners seem to be CP 6s ... unless they are very anxious.

 

[Virtual ghost]

How lovely... The ENFJ in mind is a 2

If you have concrete person in mind that attracts you ... just take the gamble and see where this goes. Placing too much on Typology is bad bet.

 

[á´…eparted]

Yes, but all relationships have "sooner or later it will be a mess" element, therefore if you have 2 strong personalities the odds are that mess will be epic.

Well I don't consider myself to be emotionally unavailable, however people accuse me of this all the time. (therefore I presume I am, in this matters opinion of others has advantage)
The truth is that 2s have some traits that I admire, since they are my weak spot and I have love deficit at the moment. However in real life my natural partners seem to be CP 6s ... unless they are very anxious.

My personality is quite strong, and I know for a fact that whoever I wind up with will have a strong personality as well. Those tend to gravitate towards one another anyway.

In my experience, I wouldn't call ENTJ's or 8's emotionally unavilable, but fiercely private. This can and does appear as unavailable. It's just merely a wall that they keep up for the majority of people. Once they find someone worthy, they come down. Someone who is emotionally unavailable would be a person who can't let such walls down, and isn't born of a privacy motivation.

If you have concrete person in mind that attracts you ... just take the gamble and see where this goes. Placing too much on Typology is bad bet.

This.

My ideal match would be an ESTP 8, but I'm also open to pretty much any type combination. Of course there are some that would quite repel me. I can not imagine myself with a IxxP 4 but I also admit it could happen. To channel my non-existant Ne for a second: anything's possible!

 

[Annaifiwas]

If you have concrete person in mind that attracts you ... just take the gamble and see where this goes. Placing too much on Typology is bad bet.

Oh, absolutely. I didn't think about Typology earlier, but later on, when I analyzed my previous partners, I realized many of them were ENFJs. One ENFP, two INFJs and one ESTP though (ESTP was just six hideous weeks), but when finding out my MBTI, that got me interested in whether typology really mattered.

 

[Virtual ghost]

Oh, absolutely. I didn't think about Typology earlier, but later on, when I analyzed my previous partners, I realized many of them were ENFJs. One ENFP, two INFJs and one ESTP though (ESTP was just six hideous weeks), but when finding out my MBTI, that got me interested in whether typology really mattered.

Well, there are certain patterns but there is nothing absolute in typology.

 

[Sweetie75]

I am an ENFJ who has been married to an ENTJ for 15 years. We are a great match and still have a lot of passion in our relationship. I will say that the early years, or even the first 5-10 years were occasionally marred by explosive fighting. The ENFJ has a tendency to be self sacrificial to please others. The ENTJ has the tendency to be overly demanding and not always thinking of others or giving positive encouragement. Both are big picture thinkers, problem solvers and thrive on shared values. Intellect is important in a mate for the ENTJ, so a very intelligent ENFJ is captivating to them. The ENFJ can be captivated by the possibility of helping the ENTJ achieve full potential in their career, but also desires to help them grow as a person and self actualize, which the ENTJ desperately needs, but does not always want. I will say that the ENFJ can be stifled by the drive and egocentric nature of the ENTJ. The critical nature of the ENTJ can crush and discourage the sensitive and people pleasing nature of the ENFJ. If this relationship is going to work, the ENTJ has to be willing to work very hard at being sensitive and gentle with the ENFJ to preserve the very qualities that attract the ENTJ to the ENFJ. The ENFJ has to work hard to give the ENTJ space and to not try to "fix" the ENTJ unless the ENTJ is willing and invites the constructive criticism. Another pitfall is that both types have a strong need for a beautiful and ordered home life. However, neither type will be as good at executing those details and would benefit from one of the other types who can keep things running smoothly. In our relationship we both have high expectations for the house, but often fall short of them, especially during the childrearing years. When we work together on the house, or have the ability to hire cleaners or decorators, this can be managed, but it is a concern if you are both perfectionists. Another pitfall is two extroverts in social situations. Usually one has to take the lead a bit and let the other lead in group conversations, otherwise they can occasionally clash as each has leadership qualities, but have very different leadership styles. Additionally, the ENTJ will not be happy if career cannot be the first priority. To the ENFJ, people are the first priority, so the ENFJ may have trouble with the ENTJ's workaholic nature. If children are involved, the ENTJ will expect the ENFJ to pick up the slack as nurturer of the home and children, especially when work demands are high. This will be frustrating to the ENFJ as they will carry a lot of emotional weight and may feel alone or overburdened. If the ENFJ has career plans, they will likely sacrifice them for the sake of the family, but may later become resentful, as self care is not a strength of the ENFJ, and the ENTJ is unlikely to notice or provide this care without prompting. To conclude, it is a magical relationship but will take a lot of work. Which is not necessarily a bad thing, as both types enjoy challenges and have the ability for self reflection and problem solving.

I am an ENTJ who can't get over the fact that so many ENFJs are just sooo lovely and kind. Irresistible even Ah, I'm doomed...
How would a romantic relationship between these two types manifest, and what other factors would play in?

Now, I am not a very strong E, quite on the border, actually, but my functions make me go with ENTJ rather than INTJ or INTP, which I can also relate quite a lot to, but not entirely. J is more likely.

Would such a relationship even be "possible"?