Red Memories
Haunted Echoes
- Joined
- Jun 3, 2017
- Messages
- 6,277
- MBTI Type
- ESFP
- Enneagram
- 215
- Instinctual Variant
- sx/so
Most of you see I have completely reevaluated my type. again. 
I usually get ENFJ, ESFJ, INFP, ENFP, ISFP for people's view, 4, 6, 1 for enneagram usually. I've gotten an interesting 8, 9, 7 too here and there. Usually seen as So dom. So this is my glance to let you know yeah I generally remember what you guys say
its been a while and I am interested in your input again. Nonetheless I will explain my actual type change and you can agree or disagree with it if you desire. Even tell me where I am wrong.
My enneagram is pretty drastic, switching to triple reactive, but I AM pretty reactive you gotta admit. I was reading "the wisdom of the enneagram" and getting a better understanding of types themselves. The first thing I realized is the 4 inner critic sounds quite similar to the 1 inner critic. Matter of fact after reading 4 thoroughly I cried thinking "fuck I'm a 4 I DIDN'T WANNA BE A 4" lol so you can laugh. But I think that is the surest sign you are an E-type at this point, if you despise it because fuck you suck sometimes.
Similar with E8 actually. I realized a lot of my fierce loyalty and combative nature can be somewhat attributed to an 8 fix. Also I heavily, strongly related to the sort of childhood mentality of the 8 occurring. I began realizing I resonate with the 8s real struggle even more so than I did the struggle of E1, which the aspects of E1 I resonated with could be correlated back to E4.
Then the choice of 6 finally came as I understood what it better means to BE a counterphobic 6. I think I just have a somewhat strong 7 wing.
Now to my choice of ISFP...
I have come to an assessment I am at least auxiliary feeling, because my feeling function is so strong. I doubt anyone could make even a slightly convincing argument for me being a thinker. Thinking, logic does not come naturally to me. All of my opinions are impacted by my emotions in some way I think. What I came to realize first is being triple reactive, I think regardless of my type I am going to look somewhat Fe if your view of Fe is a type that argues their points and doesn't back down. Except my understanding is that is not actually Fe. but I had an inner conflict realizing I did not really match fully either description of being a feeler. Feelers are viewed as types who dislike rocking the boat, being confrontational, etc. either way you view Feelers. But the ISFP description is a bit different.
The first thing I thought about is how Ne and Se look quite similar. They're both very "out there" extraverted functions. Online though, Se would actually appear to be Ne more easily. There is a possibility with the way my family is, my Se is quite repressed as I never had the opportunity to really "experience". But when I think about my every day life, it is a possibility.
I dislike a lack of stimulation. Complete quiet bothers me to be factual. Even if I do not partake in it, I enjoy being among the hustle and bustle. A bystander to living through someone else even. I like noise, I like turning the volume up loud, and I've always had little ways of rebelling. I cannot say that DOESN'T sound like an Se description... XD
One of my biggest problems with perceiving myself as a high intuition type though, is my "black and white" "taking things too literally" problem. The Ne dominants are defined by their nature to josh around, a quick wit and intriguing connections.
And then there is me, who normally can tell you every detail about a tree besides what kind of tree it is. You heard me, I'm actually the one who usually misses the meaning. I always want to derive meaning but I am much better at jumping to conclusions, being all or nothing, and not getting the joke. I've never really had much of a sense of humor. I actually find what a lot of people find humorous asinine and I am unsure of why it is supposed to be funny. I might give you a fake laugh at best, other times I'll actually start deriving to you why it isn't funny which usually turns people off. But Se+Fi apparently IS more black and white. xSFPs are also sensitive to criticism like xNFPs and xSFJs.
Another thing that makes me doubt Fe is the fact I am actually relatively oblivious to body language. I do get hunches, but more in the spoken idea of Ni rather than an Fe hunch of you're feeling bad. If you tell me something is wrong I will be the first one at your door trying to console you. But to be honest, I am not good at deciphering people's real internal feelings. I unintentionally come off as cold to others at times, especially when my anger brews over.
Another thing of typing: I think I view myself as intuitive with my forward thinking, due to my anxiety. But When I think about it, if I didn't have anxiety, what would I do? What did I do before anxiety HEAVILY set in and invaded my well being?
I was quite impulsive actually, more spontaneous. I hated my parent's making it near impossible for me to go out and do something. I was the first to introduce myself to someone. I attempted to talk to everyone, I felt a wider breadth of people meant more experience. I got judged and hurt a lot for being very forward, very blunt, to the degree people in my youth group said I was intimidating. My clothing was very eccentric and my mother even agrees to this day I am an eccentric individual. This experience was really the first time in my life I ever thought about what people might actually be thinking when I talk to them. Before I could give a shit what someone thought of me. I was me and you can like me or hate me. I feel similar now but I instead assume you will just dislike me so I do not engage like I did. before I assumed I was a likeable person people would want to be around, so I engaged quite heavily. I was probably overbearing.
Now the most Fe-like thing about me is my "fixer" mentality. When people bring me a problem I want to find solutions. I will give people quite a bit of solutions before I finally internally scream at you not listening to any of them. I guess to me if you have a problem that has a solution you should fix it. Otherwise you're causing yourself unnecessary turmoil over small stuff, mountains out of mole hills. If there is a very complicated background to it, I definitely do not expect you to just "fix it". But my fixer mentality and desire to help people through their problems is why I am going to major in counseling. It is a good job doing something I do most days anyway, and I can make time for my artistic hobbies on the side when I'm not stark ass broke.
But overall I began to realize I think I am on the Ni-Se axis rather than Ne-Si axis. So for a bit I was doing ENFJ too. I am open to hearing your type ideas.
TL/DR version:
my actual character traits:
Firm loyalty - loyal to a fault to a degree
Likes stimuli, something to do, gets bored easily
Indecisive
Wants to fix your life problems
Black and white thinking
Seeing trees but not the forest (misses the big picture)
Blunt
Not afraid to confront if there is an issue
Strong values
Ambitious
Relatively friendly
I usually get ENFJ, ESFJ, INFP, ENFP, ISFP for people's view, 4, 6, 1 for enneagram usually. I've gotten an interesting 8, 9, 7 too here and there. Usually seen as So dom. So this is my glance to let you know yeah I generally remember what you guys say
its been a while and I am interested in your input again. Nonetheless I will explain my actual type change and you can agree or disagree with it if you desire. Even tell me where I am wrong.My enneagram is pretty drastic, switching to triple reactive, but I AM pretty reactive you gotta admit. I was reading "the wisdom of the enneagram" and getting a better understanding of types themselves. The first thing I realized is the 4 inner critic sounds quite similar to the 1 inner critic. Matter of fact after reading 4 thoroughly I cried thinking "fuck I'm a 4 I DIDN'T WANNA BE A 4" lol so you can laugh. But I think that is the surest sign you are an E-type at this point, if you despise it because fuck you suck sometimes.
Similar with E8 actually. I realized a lot of my fierce loyalty and combative nature can be somewhat attributed to an 8 fix. Also I heavily, strongly related to the sort of childhood mentality of the 8 occurring. I began realizing I resonate with the 8s real struggle even more so than I did the struggle of E1, which the aspects of E1 I resonated with could be correlated back to E4.
Then the choice of 6 finally came as I understood what it better means to BE a counterphobic 6. I think I just have a somewhat strong 7 wing.
Now to my choice of ISFP...
I have come to an assessment I am at least auxiliary feeling, because my feeling function is so strong. I doubt anyone could make even a slightly convincing argument for me being a thinker. Thinking, logic does not come naturally to me. All of my opinions are impacted by my emotions in some way I think. What I came to realize first is being triple reactive, I think regardless of my type I am going to look somewhat Fe if your view of Fe is a type that argues their points and doesn't back down. Except my understanding is that is not actually Fe. but I had an inner conflict realizing I did not really match fully either description of being a feeler. Feelers are viewed as types who dislike rocking the boat, being confrontational, etc. either way you view Feelers. But the ISFP description is a bit different.
The first thing I thought about is how Ne and Se look quite similar. They're both very "out there" extraverted functions. Online though, Se would actually appear to be Ne more easily. There is a possibility with the way my family is, my Se is quite repressed as I never had the opportunity to really "experience". But when I think about my every day life, it is a possibility.
I dislike a lack of stimulation. Complete quiet bothers me to be factual. Even if I do not partake in it, I enjoy being among the hustle and bustle. A bystander to living through someone else even. I like noise, I like turning the volume up loud, and I've always had little ways of rebelling. I cannot say that DOESN'T sound like an Se description... XD
One of my biggest problems with perceiving myself as a high intuition type though, is my "black and white" "taking things too literally" problem. The Ne dominants are defined by their nature to josh around, a quick wit and intriguing connections.
And then there is me, who normally can tell you every detail about a tree besides what kind of tree it is. You heard me, I'm actually the one who usually misses the meaning. I always want to derive meaning but I am much better at jumping to conclusions, being all or nothing, and not getting the joke. I've never really had much of a sense of humor. I actually find what a lot of people find humorous asinine and I am unsure of why it is supposed to be funny. I might give you a fake laugh at best, other times I'll actually start deriving to you why it isn't funny which usually turns people off. But Se+Fi apparently IS more black and white. xSFPs are also sensitive to criticism like xNFPs and xSFJs.
Another thing that makes me doubt Fe is the fact I am actually relatively oblivious to body language. I do get hunches, but more in the spoken idea of Ni rather than an Fe hunch of you're feeling bad. If you tell me something is wrong I will be the first one at your door trying to console you. But to be honest, I am not good at deciphering people's real internal feelings. I unintentionally come off as cold to others at times, especially when my anger brews over.
Another thing of typing: I think I view myself as intuitive with my forward thinking, due to my anxiety. But When I think about it, if I didn't have anxiety, what would I do? What did I do before anxiety HEAVILY set in and invaded my well being?
I was quite impulsive actually, more spontaneous. I hated my parent's making it near impossible for me to go out and do something. I was the first to introduce myself to someone. I attempted to talk to everyone, I felt a wider breadth of people meant more experience. I got judged and hurt a lot for being very forward, very blunt, to the degree people in my youth group said I was intimidating. My clothing was very eccentric and my mother even agrees to this day I am an eccentric individual. This experience was really the first time in my life I ever thought about what people might actually be thinking when I talk to them. Before I could give a shit what someone thought of me. I was me and you can like me or hate me. I feel similar now but I instead assume you will just dislike me so I do not engage like I did. before I assumed I was a likeable person people would want to be around, so I engaged quite heavily. I was probably overbearing.
Now the most Fe-like thing about me is my "fixer" mentality. When people bring me a problem I want to find solutions. I will give people quite a bit of solutions before I finally internally scream at you not listening to any of them. I guess to me if you have a problem that has a solution you should fix it. Otherwise you're causing yourself unnecessary turmoil over small stuff, mountains out of mole hills. If there is a very complicated background to it, I definitely do not expect you to just "fix it". But my fixer mentality and desire to help people through their problems is why I am going to major in counseling. It is a good job doing something I do most days anyway, and I can make time for my artistic hobbies on the side when I'm not stark ass broke.
But overall I began to realize I think I am on the Ni-Se axis rather than Ne-Si axis. So for a bit I was doing ENFJ too. I am open to hearing your type ideas.
TL/DR version:
my actual character traits:
Firm loyalty - loyal to a fault to a degree
Likes stimuli, something to do, gets bored easily
Indecisive
Wants to fix your life problems
Black and white thinking
Seeing trees but not the forest (misses the big picture)
Blunt
Not afraid to confront if there is an issue
Strong values
Ambitious
Relatively friendly
