This is the
biggest thing for me... Show me how you feel when you feel it. I need affirmation of our relationship, I need updates on how I still interest you. I don't need them constantly, but I need them to be genuine. So when you are thinking about me, tell me then. When it crosses your mind that you like me for some reason, compliment me then. If I don't get enough
genuine expressions of devotion, I start looking for them too much...
Sex
has to have some emotional connection every once in a while. If it doesn't, I do the same as above... I look for it too much. Sex itself can be purely physical, but not all the time. If a guy is
never emotionally engaged during sex, I will lose interest in sex with him eventually.
Sometimes I don't want things fixed. Like, there are things I already know the answers to, but still whine/bitch about. I don't want to hear a solution necessarily. I just want someone I trust to vent at. I may already know the answer. So it's insulting when I say "This happened again at work =(" and someone goes "Ugh, why don't you just x and y?!" like it's my fault that it's happening. Respecting my space is part of allowing me to fix my own problems on my timelines.
Oh yeah.
Let me vent & pay enough attention to show me you're devoted... watch me turn as ecstatic as I was upset, and it will be because of you. Don't give me solutions unless you know they don't invalidate my feelings. Example: When I say I'm upset... ask me why.
Do not instantly try to take my mind off of it by making me laugh or telling me "do this & you'll be fine." It may work from time to time, but it generally makes me feel cheated out of real support.
Dont take her feelings for granted, and make sure you take the time to say AND show appreciation for her feelings and her intuition. By that I mean don't just bulldoze over her opinion which she might hold back a bit because she wants you to be happy. INFJs can be sort of self sacrificing, but not in a good way always.
Also, if she compliments you or talks about herself, show interest. I don't know how much INFJs compliment. I'm an E so I do it a lot, but it is very offensive to me when they are taken for granted or not appreciated. How I perceive someone's interest in me is usually taken directly from how they respond to my interest in them. If I like them & I show it but they don't seem to appreciate that, there isn't much they can do independently that will make me think they like me. So feedback is crucial for me.
(That's actually kind of funny & I wonder where it comes from. Anyone know if that's a typical ENFJ thing? You can seriously scream at me about how much you adore me but if you don't reciprocate my expressions... I simply can't believe you.)