Do you think it's impossible for some people to understand you?

[Mind Maverick]

Do you think it's impossible for some people to understand you?

What quantity is 'some' to you in this context? All? Most? Few? Half? Dunno?



EDIT:
To clarify--I don't mean "fully understand" I just mean like "hey man yeah you get me" like a normal social friendship level of understanding. As in, not constantly mistaking your actions for something they aren't.

 

[Mind Maverick]

Do you find it to be a toxic relationship when/if someone can't?

 

[Coriolis]

Do you find it to be a toxic relationship when/if someone can't?

To answer your OP, I wouldn't say it is ever impossible. Most people don't understand me, but I think that is usually because they don't try to, because I don't appear interesting or worthwhile enough to them. I think people can almost always understand each other if they put forth the effort. That effort can be significant, though, so people tend to spend it judiciously. That being said, it is much easier to understand and be understood by some people than others In my experience, the people with whom I can communicate relatively effortlessly on topics important to me are very rare, and I treasure each one. Even then, there will inevitably be misunderstandings, but nothing that can't be worked through if both people work together in honesty and good faith.

 

[Mind Maverick]

To answer your OP, I wouldn't say it is ever impossible. Most people don't understand me, but I think that is usually because they don't try to, because I don't appear interesting or worthwhile enough to them. I think people can almost always understand each other if they put forth the effort. That effort can be significant, though, so people tend to spend it judiciously. That being said, it is much easier to understand and be understood by some people than others In my experience, the people with whom I can communicate relatively effortlessly on topics important to me are very rare, and I treasure each one. Even then, there will inevitably be misunderstandings, but nothing that can't be worked through if both people work together in honesty and good faith.

FWIW, I have always found you interesting, I just figure you're a private person and try to stay in my lane. mAyBe i sHoUlD rUn yOu oVeR. Okay, that was also a bad idea.

 

[Maou]

It is impossible to fully understand someone, simply on the basis we all have different experience and perspectives. Even if one could imagine something someone else has been through entirely, its not the same as going through it. How we construct our identities is based around our experiences. So without those specific experiences, we will not understand.

 

[Morpeko]

Nobody can understand me. Not even the people who make constant efforts to do so. They can try their best, but they'll never see and experience things the way that I do, and they'll never understand what specific things are like in my shoes. Maybe they'll understand some things, a few things, but never my full self.

 

[Mole]

I am in the unfortunate position of people understanding me better than I understand myself.

I can't see myself from the outside, so I keep bumbling along focused on the inside.

People can see I am a ridiculous idealist, who has no idea how deal with reality.

I tend to believe the ideal picture institutions present of themselves, while being blind to the realistic way institutes do things. Most people understand the realistic way institutions operate and are able to take advantage of this, but I keep cracking my shins against what is.

I am so concerned about what ought to be, I am blind to what is.

Most people can see I am a near blind mole, with a mind full of ridiculous ideas. One intelligent and kind person tried to tell me about myself, and although it had the ring of truth, I found it hard to take in.

Occasionally I will meet another idealist, and I can understand them, and understand what they are doing, and how dangerous and even destructive it is for them, and how bind they are to reality, and my heart goes out to them, and I instantly recognise myself in them.

So there you are reading this, and knowing me better than I know myself.

 

[Mole]

An encounter group is based on the idea that others know us better than we know ourselves, and that we resist knowing ourselves, even when told.

It takes some time to build enough trust to listen to how others see us, we prefer self pity and believe no one understands me.

 

[Mind Maverick]

To clarify--I don't mean "fully understand" I just mean like "hey man yeah you get me" like a normal social friendship level of understanding. As in, not constantly mistaking your actions for something they aren't.

 

[Morpeko]

To clarify--I don't mean "fully understand" I just mean like "hey man yeah you get me" like a normal social friendship level of understanding. As in, not constantly mistaking your actions for something they aren't.

That clarification is helpful.

I still don't think anyone does this for me. I'm not really sure what a "normal social friendship" is, though.

I think that even the people I'm closest to constantly misinterpret my actions for things that they aren't. It is just less frequent the more a person cares to get to know me.

 

[Mole]

It is impossible to understand ourselves, because we can't see ourselves from the outside. This is why we need other people, to see us as others see us. And when we see ourselves as other see us, we don't recognise ourselves.

We much prefer to believe no one understands me, than facing the simple truth about ourselves.

We are blind people complaining no one else can see.

 

[FemMecha]

I tend to think it is not possible for any one person to fully understand another, although there are varying degrees of coming close. I don't typically feel understood. Part of it is my fault because I present an image that causes me the least hassles, and people slot it into boxes and assumptions that are quite different from who I am. I don't know that I want to be generally understood. I don't see the point of that. I would like to be understood by perhaps one person. I think though, realistically people understand little fragments of each other. I don't presume to understand everyone else either, although I put effort into it.

 

[Mole]

When we don't understand ourselves, we say no one understands me.

Such people are best avoided as they blame others for not understanding them, especially those close to them.