[Type 8] Do 8's have hard lives?

[EcK]

Intriguing question.
I'm not an 8. I'm a 7w8. I do have some of the 'hard edge' of an 8 I guess.
I can be very stubborn. I also am very unhappy if I'm 'under' someone without good reasons (ie: if I'm learning from that person and really benefiting from the relationship).

If someone is my manager 'just because' (years on the job, or any other reason I don't see as valid) then I will either feel completely dissengaged from my job or strive to get 'out' of this vertical relationships.

I did that in a number of ways so far:
- working hard and getting promoted several times in a record time.
- pushing to get 'my own way' ie: I work like I want to work and 'pay' for it with increased output.
- setting up my own business (a bit ironically I was conned out of it by a sociopathic e8 entj)
- etc

 

[AphroditeGoneAwry]

This is exactly why I seek out other 8's or people who I think could be 8's. They will be there all the way, 100% when they're needed. And people do need 8's to lean on and on the other side of the coin, 8's are going to protect the vulnerable. Not that this can't present issues in itself.

Sometimes we see cough9'scough people who we feel may not be able to handle things as well as we can. So we step in. To help them. To save them pain. And what do we get for our trouble?

Stop emasculating me!!!! I can handle it!!!

Yeah? Then why are you trying to slit your wrists with that butter knife?

I'm kidding. Kinda. But I love them anyway.

I am there, 100% all the way, when I am needed.

I don't think 8's have the corner on the reliability market.

But I may be wrong.

 

[SiegfriedSchtauffen]

What do you mean on "hard" and what is the opposite? Light? That would be boring for me . I think having 8 edges can be really good. Having ambitions and being able to effortlessly confront and defend yourself when necessary is actually golden in many areas of life.

 

[kyuuei]

In comparison to some lives... Though, to be fair, we do it to ourselves.

 

[violet_crown]

In comparison to some lives... Though, to be fair, we do it to ourselves.

I personally like to think we have more fun. I mean, be real, would you enjoy yourself as much if life wasn't just a little challenging? I get into the most trouble when things are too easy.

I also think that resilience is something fundamental to the character of an 8. Experiences that would likely break other types are just kind of "an interesting thing that happened to us that one time". I don't think we know other way than slightly uphill. A bit against the grain. I honestly couldn't imagine my life any other way.

 

[kyuuei]

I personally like to think we have more fun. I mean, be real, would you enjoy yourself as much if life wasn't just a little challenging? I get into the most trouble when things are too easy.

I also think that resilience is something fundamental to the character of an 8. Experiences that would likely break other types are just kind of "an interesting thing that happened to us that one time". I don't think we know other way than slightly uphill. A bit against the grain. I honestly couldn't imagine my life any other way.

Oh I whole heartedly agree. It bewilders me how people enjoy quiet routines and the daily grind. People ask me all the time if I actually like my position at work and it baffles me why people wouldn't take an extra $4 an hour to have more challenges and skill development.

And I think it is because of resilience. There's something Dwarven about type 8s. We're built to be able to handle what we dish ourselves, because otherwise we'd just be awful implosive assholes.

But there's a hint of loneliness there. Most people don't handle that well, so finding those able to support you is slim pickings. When the going gets tough, I find myself a little envious of those with a rock steady support group. I have a lifelong struggle of having a good support figure.

 

[á´…eparted]

I think living a "tough life" is indeed a hallmark of 8's, in particular when they seem to seek it out. Kyuuei and WUR explained it very well.

That said, there is a similar pattern that can emerge with 1's, 3's, and to a certain extent 6's. They will tend to seek out a "tough life" as well, but their reasons for doing so are different. With 8's though, it's born of a desire to have something to push against. Without that it feels like something is sorely missing, and it can lead to self-created problems. Further, it acts as a sort of subconscious affirmation that they can handle anything thrown at them, and keeps them "trained" to handle other stuff. I wouldn't be suprised if some take it on for the sake of protecting others, and those they are close with. The world is a rough place, and instead of waiting for it to come to you, you go to it and take it on head on.

 

[Noll]

No matter who you are, you will have a hard life in some way or another.

 

[miss fortune]

I personally like to think we have more fun. I mean, be real, would you enjoy yourself as much if life wasn't just a little challenging? I get into the most trouble when things are too easy.

I also think that resilience is something fundamental to the character of an 8. Experiences that would likely break other types are just kind of "an interesting thing that happened to us that one time". I don't think we know other way than slightly uphill. A bit against the grain. I honestly couldn't imagine my life any other way.

I had a boss once describe me as having a lot on common with his border collie... great whenever things were going on and there were problems to fix and someone needed to jump into the middle of things to sort them out... but if bored because nothing was going wrong, I would create extra work for myself by tearing things up and putting them back together in a different manner or would get in fights with people. If there's nothing challenging happening I get pretty bored

Oh I whole heartedly agree. It bewilders me how people enjoy quiet routines and the daily grind. People ask me all the time if I actually like my position at work and it baffles me why people wouldn't take an extra $4 an hour to have more challenges and skill development.

And I think it is because of resilience. There's something Dwarven about type 8s. We're built to be able to handle what we dish ourselves, because otherwise we'd just be awful implosive assholes.

But there's a hint of loneliness there. Most people don't handle that well, so finding those able to support you is slim pickings. When the going gets tough, I find myself a little envious of those with a rock steady support group. I have a lifelong struggle of having a good support figure.

I think that the resilience thing is, in part, why I AM so protective of my people... I know that I can handle a lot more than they can, so I'll put myself in the way because something that may be devastating to them is a lot less so to me. I don't even get paid extra to work in the toughest department at work... it's a choice because there's always something happening there and there are always new things to learn... most people seem to want an uneventful day in which they go through the routines and then go home. I can't understand that... why spend 40 hours a week being bored?

and even admitting that I need support or help is pretty impossible in most circumstances

I think living a "tough life" is indeed a hallmark of 8's, in particular when they seem to seek it out. Kyuuei and WUR explained it very well.

That said, there is a similar pattern that can emerge with 1's, 3's, and to a certain extent 6's. They will tend to seek out a "tough life" as well, but their reasons for doing so are different. With 8's though, it's born of a desire to have something to push against. Without that it feels like something is sorely missing, and it can lead to self-created problems. Further, it acts as a sort of subconscious affirmation that they can handle anything thrown at them, and keeps them "trained" to handle other stuff. I wouldn't be suprised if some take it on for the sake of protecting others, and those they are close with. The world is a rough place, and instead of waiting for it to come to you, you go to it and take it on head on.

you left out an important thing... some people don't feel ALIVE unless they have something to overcome. without something to fix life feels pointless

 

[Amargith]

The beauty of an 8




Personally, I do think that each enneagram type has that same type of drive (and protectiveness) - just in a different field - and consequently, can make life just as hard for themselves in pursuing it.

It's just the sheer physicality with which an 8 does this that is so...

It gives new meaning to the phrase 'moving heaven and earth'

 

[Captain_Invincible]

I had a boss once describe me as having a lot on common with his border collie... great whenever things were going on and there were problems to fix and someone needed to jump into the middle of things to sort them out... but if bored because nothing was going wrong, I would create extra work for myself by tearing things up and putting them back together in a different manner or would get in fights with people. If there's nothing challenging happening I get pretty bored

You just hit the nail right on the head.
I like to challenge myself through my hobbies also. I find that making things challenging makes it more worthwhile to learn things, and build up a resilient character. The longer you stick at something, the better you become. If you can withstand Hell, you can withstand anything. You know?

 

[SiegfriedSchtauffen]

The world is a rough place, and instead of waiting for it to come to you, you go to it and take it on head on.

Very well said. Quite a few years ago I was inside my head for a few days and came to this exact same conclusion. It completely changed me and grown 8 spikes very quickly. I've given the world a nice middle finger and since then my life is on a much better track.

 

[ceecee]

You just hit the nail right on the head.
I like to challenge myself through my hobbies also. I find that making things challenging makes it more worthwhile to learn things, and build up a resilient character. The longer you stick at something, the better you become. If you can withstand Hell, you can withstand anything. You know?

If I can take it, I can make it. This is 8 in a nutshell to me. I can't see life without challenges, it wouldn't be any kind of life to me and it's why I identify more with my enneagram than MBTI. The difference is - not everything is worthy of the challenge. I wouldn't stick around in a bad relationship or terrible job just because it's a challenge. And understanding that came with age for me, I wasn't always that way. But if a person or a thing is worth it to me - done. Nothing is going to stop me.

 

[Virtual ghost]

From what I understand type 8 mindset is born from unfair life rather than just hard life.

 

[fetus]

Don't we all have hard lives?

 

[Radian]

Maybe yes and maybe no.

From what I saw and/or experience, 8's tend to carry others' weight, letting the "bad guys" deal with them. They were fascinated with the hard life, striving for excellence and everything, but knows when to stop and stay in their warm, comfortable blankets.

 

[Thursday]

Don't we all have hard lives?

Of course. I would expand that because of the 8's temperament as challenger and challenge-seeker we make a difficult way for ourselves amongst a worldwide culture thats growing more touchy and PC.

 

[Virtual ghost]

I guess this is the right thread to post this question. Since I am wondering if this is a 8 thing or it is just me.


When you go thorugh the profiles of type 8 there is plenty of dark suff, fights/violence, defending people, messed up childhood, the person is not emotionally available and has trust issues. Something you may not relate openly or you don't want to relate to .... but then comes reality check.





Your early life was violent :
Does "your country gets openly invaded when you are 6" count ? Or it is hidding in the basement from the airstrikes that counts ?


You preserve your personal and physical integrity :
Is that when I was bullied/abused, but when I realized that no one cares I attacked the guy and beat him up.


You care and protect the others:
Is that when I go to get the meds during snowstorm or the fact that I am the one that deals with bugs, worms, spiders ?


You are headstong:
Is that when I threat authority as my equal ?


You want to make others happy ?
Does grocery shopping and being a good cook count ? How about house rapairs ?


You are intimidating:
Is that why my friends tease me with "Hi there serial killer !" !?


You are your own boss:
Can working as a freelancer count ? Or the fact that I have serious and concret plans to become a business owner ?


You are conqueror:
Is that how I started to play strategy video games at the age of 7 ? You know organising military operations, handling the budgets, invading countries, chasing spys .... ?


You have a problem with being vulnerable:
Does the fact that I never had a GF counts ?


You can remain cool headed in tense/hard situations:
Is that when I walked through mine fields without freaking out ?


You create followers:
Is that when I go away but someone stil continues my "fight" ? Or they will do exacly as I desire because "my logic is good".



Etc.



It is as if your inner world and how you see yourself are out of touch with how you behave or others see you. Thoughts ?

 

[Norqs]

Yeah. I can totally buy 8w9's as more toned-down than the descriptions give credit for, like quiet strength. But 8w7's?? Explain yourselves, please.

Here's the thing.... us 8s - 8w9 or 8w7 don't feel like we need to explain ourselves to anyone, especially people we don't care about!

 

[Forever]

Don't we all have hard lives?

No.

None of us probably has an insanely difficult life because we still have a computer monitor to whiten our faces on.
A majority of us have a home, a shower, a bed. A family. Friends. An identity. A name.
Probably none of us have been sold as slaves.
Maybe none of us saw our friends butchered.

Several third world countries, where many people keep dying each day.
Where women are raped and tell no one.
Where pedophiles aren't caught. Where dictators can fully get away with everything within their country.
People mining in coal caves and getting sick from the fumes it produces.

Do you complain that school's too hard to wake up from each morning?
That you constantly keep refreshing your social media to see notifications of being liked?
Or you want all the latest technology and can't have it?

Don't you think of the mentally ill people trapped in their bodies?

For those of the latter category, you can quit social media with relatively little consequences.



I only think my life is hard because of the large part of it, I'm unwilling to make it better for myself. I'm trying to get rid of my shackles which I have a keychain on my belt for.


And to keep this on topic, sometimes we need 8's to help us wake up from our slumber. To have a leader and free those who are hurt and dismayed.