Discover your values

[proximo]

I find it very mechanical to go through my values. It feels very unnatural.

Yeah, you're lucky there - I feel the same way if I'm asked to explain the promptings of intuition For those of us not as plugged into their F as you are, though, this has to begin as a laborious and academic process before it can blossom into anything like the natural value based judgements that people like you can so easily make in situations where logic is useless and people like me stand around feeling vulnerable and panicky.

Edit - Bloody typical though. Supposed to get T's talking about how to get in touch with their values, and so far only one T has responded amongst the F's that come to gloat! Except Night, but he doesn't count - he was just being a butt-munch

 

[wolfy]

In that case I would advise you to wait.

Waiting for the right moment is very Japanese. So I think you should follow the lead of those around you and wait.

In the meantime you may practise tatemae and honne, exquisitely Japanese values.

Waiting for the right moment is very Japanese. I have absorbed a lot of Japanese cultural values, including honne and tatemae.

I couldn't list my values in order of priority for the life of me though.

It's very cold today.
I think I'll just wait and see, with a cup of green tea...

 

[Wonkavision]

Not sure what order I'd put em in, but here are my 5 core values:

Honesty, Authenticity, Integrity, Self-Reliance, and Wisdom.

 

[nolla]

Does that mean "core values" is another way of saying "my favourite good things out of all the good things there are that I know of"??

I think so, yeah.

But anyway, I've thought of another one for me: authenticity.

That's one for sure, congratulations!

 

[Mole]

It's very cold today.
I think I'll just wait and see, with a cup of green tea...

Perfect.

 

[proximo]

Not sure what order I'd put em in, but here are my 5 core values:

Honesty, Authenticity, Integrity, Self-Reliance, and Wisdom.

Interesting... how would you differentiate between honesty and integrity, though? I see them as much the same thing.

Though, I tend to see Telling the Truth as a different sort of sub-species of Honesty. You know, like I don't see telling the odd survival lie, expediency lie or diplomatic white lie or even those lies we all tell (except ISxJ's, obviously) when we fill in forms, as barring a person from being called Honest.

 

[nolla]

Yeah, telling the truth always is just silly... And it might even break some more important value.

 

[Mole]

Not sure what order I'd put em in, but here are my 5 core values:

Honesty, Authenticity, Integrity, Self-Reliance, and Wisdom.

But no bloody cavalry charges.

 

[proximo]

I think so, yeah.

But that seems like an absurd framework basis for major decisions! That's like choosing life options like a kid in a candy store. Yeah, there's red rope liquorice, peppermints, chocolate, caramel and nougat - well, I don't like nougat or peppermints, and caramel's my favourite out of the ones left over, so I'll take that! Yum! Ha ha little sis, you've got to have smelly old peppermints!

There's integrity, authenticity, diplomacy and family - well, the first two might involve conflict and I don't like that, and family justifies diplomacy so I'll go with that! Yum! Ha ha cousin, you think I really like you and that you don't get on my nerves, but you do-ooo!

That's one for sure, congratulations!

Thanks. I think I need to have a stiff drink now!

 

[nolla]

But that seems like an absurd framework basis for major decisions! That's like choosing life options like a kid in a candy store. Yeah, there's red rope liquorice, peppermints, chocolate, caramel and nougat - well, I don't like nougat or peppermints, and caramel's my favourite out of the ones left over, so I'll take that! Yum! Ha ha little sis, you've got to have smelly old peppermints!

It does seem a bit random. But I think it works somehow like that. Say, I value independence and close relationships, the values are somewhat in conflict. No worries, I can easily see that I don't really value independence that much. Problem solved. So, if I take ALL the values I can think of, it is only about giving them a proper order. I haven't actually done that, as it seems unnecessary.

But, if it wasn't like this, then I should say that there are some of the good things that are my anti-values (couldn't think of a better word), things that I run away from, things that I wont do. But this is silly, why would I not like to do a good thing?

 

[Arclight]

This was not easy..

Love
Confidence
Freedom
Fun
Security

The 1st 4 add up to the 5th

 

[Wonkavision]

Interesting... how would you differentiate between honesty and integrity, though? I see them as much the same thing.

Though, I tend to see Telling the Truth as a different sort of sub-species of Honesty. You know, like I don't see telling the odd survival lie, expediency lie or diplomatic white lie or even those lies we all tell (except ISxJ's, obviously) when we fill in forms, as barring a person from being called Honest.

I'm assuming that values here means ideals that we try to live up to but sometimes fail at living up to.

For me, Honesty would entail resisting telling the odd survival lie, expediency lie, and diplomatic white lie. I've been guilty of these at times, but I generally tell the truth no matter how inconvenient it is.
Anyone who knows me well will attest to this.

Being honest would certainly be an example of Integrity, but Integrity encompasses a lot more than being honest.

 

[nolla]

Love
Confidence
Freedom
Fun
Security

Oh, I actually just realized something... Security, love and confidence are basic human NEEDS (according to A.Maslow). Should we even take them as part of the value list? They are basically there anyway, so it is kinda cheating to write them It's like, I value 1) Food 2) Water 3) Shelter 4) Sex 5) Posse

 

[proximo]

It does seem a bit random. But I think it works somehow like that. Say, I value independence and close relationships, the values are somewhat in conflict. No worries, I can easily see that I don't really value independence that much. Problem solved. So, if I take ALL the values I can think of, it is only about giving them a proper order. I haven't actually done that, as it seems unnecessary.

So... that's it? That's your decision making process? You just run it through a totally subjective "what I like best" filter?? What happens when you sacrifice something that's of less value to you than that close relationship, but it's something of very high value to the other person and they can't countenance your sacrificing it for their sake?

I'm assuming that values here means ideals that we try to live up to but sometimes fail at living up to.

For me, Honesty would entail resisting telling the odd survival lie, expediency lie, and diplomatic white lie. I've been guilty of these at times, but I generally tell the truth no matter how inconvenient it is.
Anyone who knows me well will attest to this.

Being honest would certainly be an example of Integrity, but Integrity encompasses a lot more than being honest.

Yeah I know it does. It's interesting that you put such an importance on Telling the Truth... I know a couple of other people who say similar things. What's your reasoning behind that? I mean, what good comes of it, IYO, that's worth the "inconvenience" to yourself and perhaps others?

I'm gonna go and walk the dog. I might return with another value.

It just would have to start raining right now, eh?

 

[Arclight]

Oh, I actually just realized something... Security, love and confidence are basic human NEEDS (according to A.Maslow). Should we even take them as part of the value list? They are basically there anyway, so it is kinda cheating to write them It's like, I value 1) Food 2)Water 3) Shelter 4) Sex 5)Posse

Ok.. I guess I went too deep then..:O or I am lacking in basic human needs

It's a bit troubling

 

[nolla]

Ok.. I guess I went too deep then..:O or I am lacking in basic human needs

It's a bit troubling

Don't worry. As you have confidence and freedom among the important stuff it means you are quite high on the motivation theory. It means your basic needs are mostly satisfied.

Maslow's hierarchy of needs - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

So... that's it? That's your decision making process? You just run it through a totally subjective "what I like best" filter?? What happens when you sacrifice something that's of less value to you than that close relationship, but it's something of very high value to the other person and they can't countenance your sacrificing it for their sake?

Interesting question. I'd probably still sacrifice the lesser value. Otherwise it wasn't MY value system. This might lead to some sticky situations, I'm sure.

 

[Sniffles]

God, Truth, Integrity, Wisdom, Independence.

I cannot stress integrity enough. Take away my integrity, and you've taken away my life.

 

[Arclight]

Don't worry. As you have confidence and freedom among the important stuff it means you are quite high on the motivation theory. It means your basic needs are mostly satisfied.

Maslow's hierarchy of needs - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Holy geez!! I think I remember that from High School.. I don't agree with the order personally but then, I have a very limited knowledge of it..
Thanks

 

[Wonkavision]

It's interesting that you put such an importance on Telling the Truth... I know a couple of other people who say similar things. What's your reasoning behind that? I mean, what good comes of it, IYO, that's worth the "inconvenience" to yourself and perhaps others?

Mostly it has to do with having a clear conscience, and not wanting to be a hypocrite.

I feel guilty when I lie because I want people to be honest with me.

And just because I know people are often dishonest with me, I don't believe that gives me the right to be dishonest.

It's related to personal integrity again, I guess.

 

[nolla]

Holy geez!! I think I remember that from High School.. I don't agree with the order personally but then, I have a very limited knowledge of it..
Thanks

I didn't have it in school but I read the book, since it was an interesting perspective. I'm not sure about the order myself, but he writes that everyone is on multiple levels at the same time (not having all the security met while being mostly on level three, for example) so, I think that is why it seems to me like they are not in the same order than they are in my mind.