[Traditional Enneagram] Differentiating 3s and 7s

[theNix]

I identify with 3 because:
- I want to be admired for my qualities and achievements
- I feel more worthy when I do something considered successful (ex. getting accepted to a prestigious university)
- Competitive with everyone about everything
- Aware of my and others social value, both in general but also in specific situations
- I check out of situations where the spotlight is on someone else (although I feel uncomfortable with too much attention)
- I am aware how I am seen and I care about making a good impression, especially if I consider the person someone of importance
- More formal, diplomatic, polite than the average ENTPs
- More direction, ambition and focus on goals than most ENTPs

I don't identify with 3 because:
- I'm not super social and charming and glittery (could be the 4 wing)
- I can be kinda awkward and socially ungracious/weird (used to be much worse, has got much better, almost disappeared)
- Not a super hard worker, procrastinator (somehow I get stuff done though )
- While I like to dress nice, I'm not really spot on and polished and I do not understand the value of branded expensive clothes

I identify with 7 because:
- Most of the things I do need to be fun for me to stay engaged
- OPTIMISM
- More avoidant of negativity than most
- Childlike curiosity about the world (both mentally - science, psychology, typology - and physically - travelling, different lifestyles)
- Tendency to fantasize about fun future scenarios and ideas
- Less inhibited than the 3s I know
- A general tendency to be interested in a lot of things, thirst for adventure, new experiences, and all that stuff...

I don't identify with 7 because:
- More inhibited than 7s i know
- I am careful about acting on some impulses which might look bad (saying something which will make people take me less seriously could be a good example)
- I need to get back to work after fun times
- I have a limit (which changes according to the situation) regarding what I consider acceptable and unacceptable/idiotic fun


I had the easiest time typing why I am a 3 part, if that helps!
Also it'd be even better if you could tell me the wing too (and the variant and even tritype if you have an opinion!)

 

[Chad of the OttomanEmpire]

First, I don't really like typing people I don't know. Lots of bad things have happened online between me and people who don't know me but thought they could tell me my type better than me based on a few words I put on a thread.

But that said, I'll still give you a tentative guess and my reasoning.

My guess would be 3. A lot of the stuff you put under 7 would also be consistent with (or at least not exclusive of) 3 (e.g., optimism, avoidance of negativity). This, to me, is a dead giveaway: More direction, ambition and focus on goals than most ENTPs. Most 7s have trouble staying focused; they feel encumbered, inhibited, and confined by definite goals. My therapist even said that people who say they're "not goal-oriented" tend to value the process over the end result, and tend to value freedom (e.g. what 7s do). And Helen Palmer actually distinguishes 3s from 7s in this way. The core of 3 would never lose sight of the goal for something as fleeting as freedom; whereas the core 7 would ultimately give up goals and any desire to accomplish something if it encroached upon personal freedom. You may wish to read her chapter on this.

Of course, you alone can make the determination--it might help you to decide if you're more of an image type or a head type. Positive outlook or competency. Attachment or frustration. That can help too. Best of luck.

 

[EJCC]

^ I'm also leaning towards 3 - mostly because all of the 7-ish elements have caveats. Within reason. Back to work after. As long as it looks good. Used to be worse but I'm better at it now.

That said, [MENTION=38118]theNix[/MENTION] you may want to start looking into integration/disintegration points. That was helpful for me in determining my type.

 

[Virtual ghost]

My guess would be So 7 with 3w4 fix.

 

[theNix]

First, I don't really like typing people I don't know. Lots of bad things have happened online between me and people who don't know me but thought they could tell me my type better than me based on a few words I put on a thread.

[MENTION=18576]The Tsarevich[/MENTION] that would not be a problem with me, I wouldn't get worked up over this stuff

My guess would be 3. A lot of the stuff you put under 7 would also be consistent with (or at least not exclusive of) 3 (e.g., optimism, avoidance of negativity). This, to me, is a dead giveaway: More direction, ambition and focus on goals than most ENTPs. Most 7s have trouble staying focused; they feel encumbered, inhibited, and confined by definite goals. My therapist even said that people who say they're "not goal-oriented" tend to value the process over the end result, and tend to value freedom (e.g. what 7s do). And Helen Palmer actually distinguishes 3s from 7s in this way. The core of 3 would never lose sight of the goal for something as fleeting as freedom; whereas the core 7 would ultimately give up goals and any desire to accomplish something if it encroached upon personal freedom. You may wish to read her chapter on this.

In ENTP fashion, I do have the tendency to try out a lot of activities, but most of them are, in a way, somehow related to my self image end goal. By that I mean I have a future vision of myself, and how I want to be seen and see myself.
Also, I totally feel like an ENTJ when I am together with 7s.

Of course, you alone can make the determination--it might help you to decide if you're more of an image type or a head type. Positive outlook or competency. Attachment or frustration. That can help too. Best of luck.

I was aware of the groups prior to you mentioning them and it is definitely competency over positive outlook. I am not sure about attachment vs frustration though. I relate to the reason 3s "attach", but I relate to the same degree why 7s and 1s are "frustrated."

Any idea on instinctual variants and tritype? My self typing is 3w4/7/1 so/sx (idk the wings).

 

[theNix]

[MENTION=4945]EJCC[/MENTION]
I looked at the integration/disintegration points. Disintegration to 3 sounds very much like me. I am not sure about the integration to 6 though. I guess I'm still too young for that lol.
What would you say my tritype and instinctual variants are?

[MENTION=4347]Virtual ghost[/MENTION]
So 7? Interesting. I have though about that and Sp 7 too. Completely agree with 3w4. What about the gut fix and IVs?

 

[Chad of the OttomanEmpire]

[MENTION=18576]The Tsarevich[/MENTION] that would not be a problem with me, I wouldn't get worked up over this stuff

Well I don't get worked up over it--and I'm glad you don't either--but I was surprised by the ego some people had pegged on me being a certain type, and how willing they were to do stuff like try to humiliate me publicly and/or share secret PM content in order to win the argument with me. Luckily this didn't happen on Typology Central.

In ENTP fashion, I do have the tendency to try out a lot of activities, but most of them are, in a way, somehow related to my self image end goal. By that I mean I have a future vision of myself, and how I want to be seen and see myself.
Also, I totally feel like an ENTJ when I am together with 7s.

I was aware of the groups prior to you mentioning them and it is definitely competency over positive outlook. I am not sure about attachment vs frustration though. I relate to the reason 3s "attach", but I relate to the same degree why 7s and 1s are "frustrated."

Sounds like a definite 3 then.

Any idea on instinctual variants and tritype? My self typing is 3w4/7/1 so/sx (idk the wings).

No clue. I'd say you're definitely 7-fixed; if you identify with frustration that much, 1 would be a likely gut for you. But I didn't get any especial feel of that from your OP. Instincts, no idea. Look into the area that causes you pain, insecurity, and an otherwise irrational lashing out.

I am not sure about the integration to 6 though. I guess I'm still too young for that lol.

Also, ftr. I'm supposed to integrate to 2, and for a long time I was utterly convinced I couldn't possibly have any 2 connection at all and utterly failed to grasp how it might relate to me. Sometimes you have to spend awhile thinking about it.