Describe Your Favorite Movie Horribly

[Totenkindly]

Group of lonely guys struggling to make ends meet invites some visiting teens over for dinner. Only one of the girls shows up, and when she doesn't like the food, she behaves rudely and leaves.

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre.

 

[Lord Lavender]

Group of late teens/early 20s with IQs in the single digits get killed by a 7 foot guy who walks at 1 m.p.h.

Friday the 13th

 

[citizen cane]

Movie no longer has a fourth wall but still functions.

Monty Python and the Holy Grail

Stockholm syndrome with a furry

Beauty and the Beast

 

[The Cat]

A daring Captain who believes in the best of his crew. A Tough as nails first mate with her own effective ways of keeping the men in line. A kidnapped engenue who who seeks her lost love. Triangles apleenty in this swashbuckling masterpiece from the wrong side of the tracks.

Pirates XXX

 

[Flâneuse]

A hard-working, self-made businessman’s life is afflicted by a sad series of events, as he is harassed by a phony faith healer with a grudge, targeted by a con man, and betrayed by his adopted son. While angered and distraught, he goes bowling drunk and gets in a violent squabble over an iced beverage.

There Will Be Blood

A woman takes a tour of a family’s Victorian house in the country, but is unimpressed by their pretentiously edgy home decor. The family insists that she stay for dinner and meet their beloved grandfather, but she finally decides to go after he tries to hit on her.

The Texas Chain Saw Massacre

A man believes he's found the beautiful, innocent girlfriend of his dreams, but is weirded out when he discovers her BDSM fetish.

Audition

 

[SearchingforPeace]

Professor skips on his teaching duties to pursue other pursuits. He ends up engaging in subversive activities against another country, increasing tensions. He has a spiritual experience and wins back a woman he used and ditched years earlier.

Raiders of the Lost Ark

Labor management dispute ultimately stops the enterprise for everyone.

Snowpiercer

Revenge fills many graves, but not that of the man with the most blood on his hand. He gets to walk away and raise his children in peace.

Unforgiven

Boat blows up. Criminal mastermind gets away. Audience and detectives left with questions.

Usual Suspects

Outsiders win against a fixed game. Almost everyone else loses.

The Big Short

Man fails at the biggest moment of his life. He still gets the girl.

Tin Cup

A wise system to provide peace and security is brought down by the rebellion of one the prime defenders.

Equilibrium

 

[EJCC]

A harried husband becomes a harried partner-in-crime, with a man who should be put on psychological leave but is instead rewarded for his reckless, addled behavior. Lots of people yell. Lots of other people make crazy-eyes at the camera. Two men fight shirtless in the mud for no apparent reason. Meanwhile, sad guitar music plays in the distance.

Lethal Weapon

Definitely not one of my favorite movies, lol.

 

[Tengri]

Ashen and prosthetic heroine leads (now dogless and hapless!) everyman grunting to save birthmothers from steampunk Tyr and his skinhead berserkers. Hilarity ensues as nightmarish clown cars chase after our heroes across the once-ocean bottoms of Ragnarök playing their favorite jams. It's one big 'dam' allegory!

Mad Max: Fury Road

 

[geedoenfj]

I would describe anything horribly, not a native speaker horrible description is the easiest for me

 

[EJCC]

I would describe anything horribly, not a native speaker horrible description is the easiest for me

 

[Galena]

Administrative worker meets the woman of his dreams.

Brazil

Youth experiences complications from motorcycling injury.

Akira

Owners leave a mess in their cabin for renters. 1/5 stars, would not stay again except for a reboot.

Evil Dead 2

Team movie night ends early.

Ingluorious Basterds

 

[Carpe Vinum]

"Just say no" to drugs policy ends in catastrophe.

The Godfather

 

[Totenkindly]

Ball slags people; hawt naked chick flies around killing stuff. There is more to this movie, but no one remembers it.

Heavy Metal

Unapologetic fantasy showcase of racism, sexism, and black magic; tall dark stranger in PETA-outlawed garb gets the best lines.

Fire and Ice

Big-hearted virgin feigns hooking up, for charity + cash perks; religious zealots gnash teeth; hooks up with large rodent.

Easy A

Toilet-unclogger running from tragic family accident gets unexpected and unwanted gift from brother; still can't get over everything.

Manchester by the Sea

Kid likes pretty lights but can't get foster mom out of hair; falls in with local ruffian; impromptu styling change brings happy ending.

Tangled

 

[geedoenfj]

Ok alright!! I'm vulnerable to sad bananas.. And sad STJs

Mine are pretty predictable I'm assuming, I will try to shut my e1 down, write without double checking the grammar and spelling, and no one has to guess, I think they're pretty well known..
It would look perfectly horrible

A man from village is trying to help a lama emperor to get back to his palace which was taken over by an odd looking purple lady

The Emperor's New Groove

Two African American police officers disguised as white chicks to investigate a possible assasination

White Chicks

A whicked witch sent a princess to a sewerage in NYC to avoid a happy ending with the prince of her dreams, so that she can become the queen of the land

Enchanted

 

[Lord Lavender]

Army gets togther, wins for a while, takes a massive loss and demoralises then at the last second has a surprise victory

Every war movie like ever

 

[Andy]

A young woman runs off with a man she's only just met in a night club. Love blossoms, despite the efforts of those who don't approve.

The Terminator

 

[Tengri]

Perpetually hypothermic man goes on a spirit journey after getting mauled by a grizzly in Liby, Montana. Chill native bakes him in a sweat lodge to warm him up to slay an incomprehensible Cactus Pete.

The Revenant

 

[Kanra Jest]

Masked killer kills and rips eyes out of kids because his momma said so.

See no evil

Psychic girl accidentally revives a drowned undead undead zombie that kills everyone in the vicinity

Friday the 13th part 7 new blood

Girl wants to be a cop and blackmails a con artist into investigating a murder which gets them both in deep shat

Zootopia

 

[The Cat]

I cant remember.

Memento

 

[Agent Washington]

Heroine eats chocolate to avoid death.

Black Book

Bean descends from sky with giant pants as parachute.

Minions

New York Guy rebounds on Tall, Dark, and Handsome after his grandfather dies.

Big Eden