Dealing with people.

[Atomic Fiend]

I may be a novice, but I learn quickly.

Mom accused me of being rude to her guest. I countered with I don't speak to her guest, I say hello and go to my room to be left alone, I like the idea of coming home from a day of dealing with people and not having to deal with more at home. In fact I'm in love with the idea. If it we're a woman I'd take it Vegas and marry it. She isn't aware, or won't admit that I have a fairly good idea of what I'm doing, and I should, I've been dealing with the same crap forever now.

Person I never speak to, but knows my mom visits, usually loud, sometimes very rude. I decide to say hello. They comment on height ask me how I'm doing etc, etc. I answer the annoyingly probing questions about crap that isn't any of they're business, crap that they'll forget that they asked me next time they visit. And they always do, and ask me the same questons that I had to grin through before.


Why do they forget, well I'm no authority on this, but I'm pretty sure they forget because they didn't give a rats ass to begin with. They we're just trying, failing miserably, but trying never the less, not to be rude.

This routine gets old fast. I don't feel like dealing with it, It's not as big of a deal to them to jump through the hoops as it is for me. I get too annoyed and I start acting rude for real. So I decided to spare everyone the trouble and go to my room.

The guest leaves, I come out.

"Why are you so rude, you don't speak to people anymore? I mean you can at least ask how they're doing-"

"I could at least go off on one of them."

"What?"

"I did the right thing, if I had stayed out here I would've been really rude, I saved us a situation."

"You should be nicer to people, you never know when you might need there help."

Let's stop right here. The guest who was over our house was my moms brother, someone who she's called a deadbeat numerous times, he lived with us for five years before he could afford to move out, left us with his bills, and didn't speak to us for 2 years. When he found out that we were in financial trouble he sent 1000 dollars but came back to get that money back because he got laid off.I don't think that's the guy I'm going to go to in my time of need, and If I do, it'll be because he owes us a debt for allowing him to live here as long as he did.

What else is wrong with that comment? Besides the idea that the only reason we speak to people is because we can get things from them, and not because we legitamatly like them?

Hmph.

 

[Thursday]

Ditto
Eww

 

[Thursday]

Glad the Honesty is silent
well, not really
too much loquacious bull**** out there

 

[scantilyclad]

wow, i dealt with this same thing when i lived at home. My stepmom would complain to my dad that i was rude to her when i came home from school.

I didn't know that not having a long conversation with her about my day was rude. I would usually just come home, walk in the kitchen, grab a snack, if she would say hi, i would say hi, and then i would go to my room for some reflection time.

It was also the same with my boyfriend at that time (who was an INFJ). She thought he was the rudest person alive, because he didn't want to sit around and have small talk and be asked those probing questions.

Is your mom an extrovert?

 

[Atomic Fiend]

Yes, she... I'm fairly sure she's an ESTJ.

 

[suzyk]

Ahaha, I can relate with you on your problems. My mom and dad will invite all these Indian people I don't care about over, they'll take shit about finances, the world, their kids and stuff like that (I am grateful they never bring their boring kids around), I go downstairs and say hi so I don't seem rude, they talk, I talk, I try to extinguish the conversation quickly, because my mom is good at starting conversations (coincidentally, she's an ESTJ too, lol). When the annoying guests leave, she'll command me to come downstairs and she'll shout in my face for being rude. She thinks I should be sociable, like my stupid whore of a cousin,
I should be more 'girly' or whatever.

I ignore her for the most part. And there was this guy who lived in our basement for 4 or 5 years, he was a twenty something and my mother would always make food for him, she'd let him watch the TV (much to my displeasure) and do whatever. My dad was throughly irritated (like me), and after he left to go to work and stuff, my mom would gossip about him behind his back. It's very stupid, really. He finally moved out, and everyone was happy. My mother didn't have anyone to gossip about, and I got the TV to myself again.

My mom still gossips about people she knows. She has the nerve to do it right in front of me too, like I'm some little kid who doesn't understand her. When I told her about it, she shooed me off and said something petty. I threatened to tell her friends about what she said about them, but she said I didn't have the guts to. Oh, you just wait, mother 'o mine...

 

[Atomic Fiend]

My mom used to gossip, said some very bad things about people, me being the loving son I am decided to tell the people exactly what she said, not just that, but while she was standing in front us watching as I told.

She doesn't gossip anymore.

 

[heart]

Some of my in-laws do this to me. Same questions each time, they talk at the top of their voice, invalidate anything I do chose to say, make fun, etc. They mostly just talk over what I try to say anyway, they already made their minds up about what I would reply anyway, truthfully I am not even needed there at all!

A couple of them will basically grill me third degree style about the CFS and they never bother to remember the details and then they confront me what I say like the they are detectives or something. Thank God I am able to avoid them for the most part.

Ugh, people.

 

[nightning]

I see nothing wrong with the comments... only that "society" has deem them to be "non-genteel". I can only offer you sympathy... *hugs SH*

 

[Atomic Fiend]

Thanks heart and me mousie friend.