magpie
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I first of all want to preface this by saying that I'm in no way questioning how you think or process, as you in fact do think and process in a certain way and are explaining it here.
I am wondering though if I and others are misunderstanding what exactly you mean by certain things you're saying - ie there is a possibility I could do things similarly to you, it's jut something is getting lost in translation and so I don't relate to the words you're using. I'm not sure.
I can relate to experiences being jumping off points, and being critical for finetuning self and ones own perceptions and thoughts and values, shifting and building and adjusting and sometimes reconstructing, but I don't view any of this as pulling together multiple perspectives or sensory experiences being a means to an end. Or even necessarily spiritual at all. For me, like I said earlier I may see many paths I can take in life (= multiple perspectives?) or value systems, but ultimately I am trying to define my own, and it's less about integrating a bunch as it is figuring out what exactly I believe in and need to prioritize and Live out. There's a lot I immediately write off as 'not me'. There's some I know is me. There's middle fuzzy zones where I may not be sure or I'm playing tug and war between two possibly opposing values. That's where experience is critical.
Regarding sensory alone, I think while in some areas (ie nature) there is a very deep meaning for me, there are many sensory things that just 'are', I am happy to be in that moment, and there's no deeper context, ie they aren't a means to anything, they simply are and don't need to be anything else.
Also I'm not sure I'd describe myself as being in a land of ideas. But maybe this too is me having a different notion of what that means than what you are thinking when you say that.
I hope you know I am not questioning your type, I am simply sharing my own experiences and how I view things. I also think I have never been great at breaking myself into functions (partly because I have some issues with function theory); thus that may be part of my not easily following your writing style or defining myself in that way.
Thanks so much for writing this. I think there is a misunderstanding going on and I realize I'm not always good at articulating, and can struggle to describe things with clarity. I do think maybe a lot of the issues are semantics based, or are based on me saying one thing and other people viewing it differently, which isn't anyone's fault. It happens.
I think also we may be in different stages of development, with you being further along in that journey, though I'm not sure how things were for you when you were younger. I think what you wrote and what I'm trying to say are very similar, with the biggest difference being that I'm still looking for things outside myself to use to define me. For me, figuring out who I am and what I believe is an experiential process, and the experiences are what I integrate. It's like learning from experience, but it's learning who I am from experience. Is this clearer? I'm not really at a place developmentally where I can immediately write things off as not me, but I think if I progress as a person, that's a place I'll be able to end up.
I agree with there being sensory things that don't need to have deeper meaning. I guess for me being in the moment is meaningful. It doesn't need an analytical process but that's what makes it spiritual, for me. Because it's so free. You're not burdened by thinking to figure things out, you just act and do.
I realize now that saying "land of ideas" makes it sound like I live inside my head, which isn't what I meant. I meant more in a land of possibilities, which is what happens when you're in the moment. Like being aware of all possible actions you could take and just sort of understanding them all at once and making a decision without a long analytical process. A gut thing. So it's not going from one possibility to another and another, it's sort of seeing all posibilities and zeroing in.
Thanks for trying to understand and sharing your own experiences.