[MBTI General] Can you relate to or identify with me?

[Jogi]

I don't know if it's just me, but you should probably post a short description of yourself from your point of view. I don't think everyone knows you by heart, as it is the internet and very anonymous, as unfortunate as that is.

 

[alcea rosea]

Just curious if any members here (who are familiar with me) can relate to me since this is the main reason I joined the forum to begin with. I know at least one person here does.

Edit: If you have no idea who I am, it's likely that I don't know who you are so it would be a waste of time for you to respond if you know what I mean.

I think I understand you (at least partly) because you remind me of somebody in the real life. I could be wrong too but who knows?

 

[Totenkindly]

^How old are you?

At least as old as me. ;P

hee. I was gonna say, "Ancient beyond all recognition."

But I digress.

I can understand the motivation behind all your actions. I get you 100%, or at least, I can say I've never not understood where you were coming from.

How would you possibly know that you understood someone 100%? It's hard to distinguish that from simply believing we understood, when we didn't, and then we get corrected, over and over. (A process that occurs daily throughout our lives, no matter how smart we are.) I think the majority of conflicts occur because we react to people because we thought we knew what they meant, but we didn't.

It sounds like she didn't agree.

It would be interesting, Jen, to hear how you view yourself. We started doing the Johari/Nohari windows again over on another site and it always is so interesting to see how I perceive someone vs how they perceive themselves inside.

 

[Lookin4theBestNU]

It would be interesting, Jen, to hear how you view yourself. We started doing the Johari/Nohari windows again over on another site and it always is so interesting to see how I perceive someone vs how they perceive themselves inside.

Great idea ! Those appeared to be great tools for learning how you come off to people! I think it only works knowing who sees/says what and them being open to feedback concerning their observations/insights. I would hold very little value lets say in a noob vs. someone who has hung out with me on a forum for a couple of years. You appear to have a fairly thick skin so this could be a great option. I would be happy to participate and own up.

Even though I will be meeting you soon I can give you what I think so far. I relate to you in many cases but I feel that's because we are in similar life circumstances raising a family & working. In personality/behavior I do not understand you as well really. We see 'issues' as a general rule quite differently. I don't have the same troubles with most of the other XNFJ points of view. I've summed this up (in thinking on it previously) that you are 'very J' which I think Athenian is as well. I think this could also be a reason why you two rub each other the wrong way at times! I don't know how you score on tests but that is what I get. I'm not a strong J so I think this could be one of the reasons I don't relate as well. Please keep in mind I'm just generalizing and offering what little I can get from you on a forum/ventrilo.

 

[Totenkindly]

...In personality/behavior I do not understand you as well really. We see 'issues' as a general rule quite differently. I don't have the same troubles with most of the other XNFJ points of view. I've summed this up (in thinking on it previously) that you are 'very J' which I think Athenian is as well. I think this could also be a reason why you two rub each other the wrong way at times!

That would be my guess as well, Jen; you and Ath are two very strong J types (to me), I'm used to hearing very explicit and strong statements from you both over the time we have known each other.

You have been a very straight-forward and strong support for me over the last year and I have so much appreciated it. I admit, though, that I don't intuitively understand you like I do with some other people, and that bums me out because I really like you and am disappointed I can't quite sync up; I feel like I keep misinterpreting what you mean when you say things.

(Which is why hearing how you work inside is something I think would be very neat.)

/end attack of the mushies

 

[Haphazard]

I understand your response and honestly I have felt misunderstood my entire life so far so I thought I'd reach out to a forum full of strangers. I would say there are a few people who really get me, one is my INTJ husband who had a similar response to yours which made me .

I just don't understand the need to be related to as long as you are understood.

I'm curious now. Why are you 'so J'?

 

[ThatsWhatHeSaid]

Based on your assessment of me, I'd say your intuition isn't working very well. Your responses lead me to believe that you're easily annoyed and I've witnessed you react irrationally at times which is why I am not so sure you're an archetypal INTP. Bear in mind it would be impossible to accurately analyze you based on your typed words.

How am I wrong? I'm not easily annoyed by everyone, but you tend to push my buttons when you try to ostracize others. I think it's childish.

How would you possibly know that you understood someone 100%? It's hard to distinguish that from simply believing we understood, when we didn't, and then we get corrected, over and over.

I anticipated that, so I said: "or at least, I can say I've never not understood where you were coming from." It's always a subjective assessment. Jen's never done said anything where I've had no idea why she's saying it or where she's coming from.

It sounds like she didn't agree.

Oh well. That doesn't change my opinion or confidence in what I said.

 

[Domino]

I relate to your humanity, especially when I spoke to you on the phone. I think you're a great wife and mother, and I relate to the food thing too. Me and food, trying to be friends. You and food, same thing. Me and exercise, wanna get back into it. You too.

Plus, you're nice to look at. We totally have that in common.

 

[Hotherym]

I don't know if it's just me, but you should probably post a short description of yourself from your point of view. I don't think everyone knows you by heart, as it is the internet and very anonymous, as unfortunate as that is.

I guess it's just for the regulars who are 'in the know,' thus we sporadic posters are not quite elite enough to know whether or not we can relate.

 

[Tigerlily]

How am I wrong? I'm not easily annoyed by everyone, but you tend to push my buttons when you try to ostracize others. I think it's childish.

*Throws rose petals at the feet of the great Edahn* “Litigating for the needy, gracious champion of the downtrodden and noble empathizer of the pitiful!” All hail Eden!

 

[ThatsWhatHeSaid]

*Throws rose petals at the feet of the great Edahn*

Thanks, that's a decent example of what I'm talking about. You did the same thing with Athenian about 3 weeks ago. Instead of addressing what the person says, you pretend like they're talking down to you and address the way you perceive the delivery (which in this case, is skewed) instead of its contents. You asked a question in this thread and I answered it, and now you're refusing to continue the conversation when it looks like you might get your feelings hurt in some way.

Meh.

 

[proteanmix]

Jen:

If you start a thread like this, don't you think you open yourself up to negative responses? Can you really be frustrated, upset, offended, or any other word when people give you a true answer instead of backscratch?

 

[Tigerlily]

Thanks, that's a decent example of what I'm talking about. You did the same thing with Athenian about 3 weeks ago. Instead of addressing what the person says, you pretend like they're talking down to you and address the way you perceive the delivery (which in this case, is skewed) instead of its contents. You asked a question in this thread and I answered it, and now you're refusing to continue the conversation when it looks like you might get your feelings hurt in some way.

Meh.

I'm not sure how humor can be translated into me getting my feelings hurt. L4 is correct I do have thicker skin than your average NF of course I wasn't always that way, however living with an NT who is 100% T has helped tremendously. I asked if anyone here related to or identified with me, you basically don't so I've moved on.

As for Athenian, she and I are fine and the conversation in that thread was hopeful until it was shutdown prematurely. In fact that thread likely brought us together in a way that might not have been possible otherwise.

Jen:

If you start a thread like this, don't you think you open yourself up to negative responses? Can you really be frustrated, upset, offended, or any other word when people give you a true answer instead of backscratch?

Of course! And you'll just have to take my word for it when I say I am not frustrated, upset or offended.

 

[Totenkindly]

...Meh.

And she swiped my smiley from the Puddin' without permission!
(We lop off your head for that, sweetie.)

 

[Tigerlily]

(We lop off your head for that, sweetie.)

That could prove useful to you but of course you knew I would point that out.

 

[Kiddo]

The question to this thread, "Can you relate to or identify with me?" isn't like, "Does this forum make me look fat?" is it?

NFJs don't typically take criticism well, and their immediate response will be to argue against it, even if it is only perceived, so a thread like this almost screams "Trap!" to me because it invites criticism.

 

[ThatsWhatHeSaid]

I'm not sure how humor can be translated into me getting my feelings hurt. L4 is correct I do have thicker skin than your average NF of course I wasn't always that way, however living with an NT who is 100% T has helped tremendously. I asked if anyone here related to or identified with me, you basically don't so I've moved on.

I said I did, and I don't really buy that your "humor" is pure humor; I think it's a pretext for passive-aggression.

As for Athenian, she and I are fine and the conversation in that thread was hopeful until it was shutdown prematurely. In fact that thread likely brought us together in a way that might not have been possible otherwise.

As for Athenian, the outcome of that exchange wasn't the point. The point was how you tend to take things personally and characterize people as if they're somehow talking down to you. (Your original reply, which is what I replied to, was less playful, and I'm guessing you realized that and changed your response.)

 

[Tigerlily]

The question to this thread, "Can you relate to or identify with me?" isn't like, "Does this forum make me look fat?" is it?

Depends on how you choose to view it. I've spent most of my life alone with my thoughts by choice because I felt different to everyone. I've had many acquaintances over the years but never any true friends which may be how I prefer it. The question in the OP was just that. Can you relate to me? If not and I'm not your cup of tea that's fine. I am not so fragile that I can't handle not being liked.

NFJs don't typically take criticism well, and their immediate response will be to argue against it, even if it is only perceived, so a thread like this almost screams "Trap!" to me because it invites criticism.

Constructive criticism is great as long as it comes from a the right place. It may not always feel great at the time, but imo can only better you as a person. Being spiteful is another story. To me that shows the bitterness within the person and is almost always obvious.

The actual purpose of this thread was to see how many NF's I actual relate to on the forum. Do I feel a sort of kinship with INFJ's? I would probably say yes. There is one INFJ on this forum who really seems to get me and speaking to her is almost like speaking to another me which I find refreshing especially when most of the people I come into contact with on a daily basis seem idiotic to me.

Here is an example: Last Friday I went to a class at the gym with a friend who I met years ago when our children were in preschool together. After class she started speaking with another women whose children also went to this same preschool (her daughter was in our daughters class). We established that we knew one another and finished our conversation said goodbye and went about our business. Several days later my friend and I went back to class and saw this woman again after class to which my friend says Jen, do you know so and so? wtf? I realize to you this may seems like no big deal but come on! Dense, ditsy, stupid or what??

So you see I prefer to spend my time with people who don't irritate me. I've found a mate who I am very happy with, but I'm wondering why I can't find friends that live nearby who are complete fucking idiots which is why I enjoy posting on this forum. It has at least put me into contact with people who seem to understand me. As for the others well that's okay because this forum is big enough and I am certainly mature enough to accept the fact that we are all different.

 

[Tigerlily]

I said I did, and I don't really buy that your "humor" is pure humor; I think it's a pretext for passive-aggression.



As for Athenian, the outcome of that exchange wasn't the point. The point was how you tend to take things personally and characterize people as if they're somehow talking down to you. (Your original reply, which is what I replied to, was less playful, and I'm guessing you realized that and changed your response.)

When you first joined you said I was a peace maker or something along those lines and while it's true that I will defend those I care for I am not the cheer leading happy bubbly person that some perceive me to be.

I don't agree with your assessment of me and I don't think that by typing to one another that you can possibly know where I'm coming from. I can assume that you're a brat who craves attention but that really wouldn't be fair since I don't know you.

Edit: I do get that you like to wind people up and that's alright, it's just not going to work on me My tone hasn't changed throughout this entire thread.

 

[ThatsWhatHeSaid]

When you first joined you said I was a peace maker or something along those lines and while it's true that I will defend those I care for I am not the cheer leading happy bubbly person that some perceive me to be.

If I did say something along those lines, then either I was wrong, or you've changed. (You've changed, man! You've changed!) I already gave you my new assessment: sometimes cynical and reflective, sometimes in search of people to mirror your energy and notice you.

I don't agree with your assessment of me and I don't think that by typing to one another that you can possibly know where I'm coming from. I can assume that you're a brat who craves attention but that really wouldn't be fair since I don't know you.

Unless people are grossly misrepresenting themselves online, I don't see why we can't understand each other by our words. Body language and tone are sacrificed, but there are still ways to pick up how a person is feelings by punctuation, avatar, signature, and of course, content.

Edit: I do get that you like to wind people up and that's alright, it's just not going to work on me My tone hasn't changed throughout this entire thread.

I'm not trying to wind you up. I'm just honestly answering the questions you've asked. Even if it did wind you up, that's not my goal.