Blog Entry #3

[bbites]

Wow. I can't believe it's October. I got a C on my demo speech presentation. Mom asked if I'm gay. I told her I was more uninterested in sexual things and don't really think about it. I also confessed that I'm not so sure I believe in god. She said she'll love me no matter what. She's still upset that I don't want kids, though. Who knows; maybe I'll change my mind? Either way I'm sure as heck not having kids now so I wish she'd just drop it. The insurance didn't cover as much as she thought it would at the dentist so now her account's in the negative. It's been a long time since we've had to worry about money. I guess everyone's dealing with that now. Justin's birthday will be here soon. He always said he'll move out when he's 18. I don't know if any of his friends will put him up but I hope not. It would be weird to be here alone.

 

[INTJMom]

You're still in high school? You have a long time before you have to think seriously about kids! I used to hate kids. I used to vow I was never having any, even after I was married! But God slowly changed my heart over time. I was 27 when I had my first child. I have 3 children now. I had thought that children would ruin my life. Instead, they made life worth living.

I used to struggle with my belief in God, too. I would be glad to discuss that privately with you in the PM system any time you'd like.

 

[bbites]

I'm in college actually, but I agree with you, I know I might change my mind about having children. I just feel bad sometimes because when I mentioned to my mother that I don't think I want kids she thought it was some sort of personal attack against her. That I wasn't going to give her grandchildren to spite her. That's not it at all, as I tried to explain to her, I honestly feel that I'm too selfish to be a parent. I don't want to have a child and then resent him or her for taking away my freedom. I just wish my mother didn't ask me so many questions when I know the answers hurt her, but I don't feel it's right to lie to her.

 

[INTJMom]

I can REALLY relate to your comment! I used to be incredibly selfish and self-centered. It was only having children that helped me change. I don't think I would have changed if it wasn't for them. And since I didn't like who I was, that was a good thing!

Your poor mom. It's funny when people get to a certain age they start thinking about grandchildren. It really not right for her to pressure you that way, though, but that's probably what she's familiar with.

I remember when my first child was about 2 years old, all of a sudden everyone I knew was asking me when I was having another one! I finally came up with the perfect answer that would stop all the questions. I would say, "I'm looking forward to it." Of course I didn't tell them, "Yeah, like forward about 2 more years!"

I wish you good success with your education.