RiderOnTheStorm
E. N.. T... :P
- Joined
- Aug 25, 2008
- Messages
- 792
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- 6w7
- Instinctual Variant
- sx/so
Thursday, March 18, 2010 at 6:20pm
Last night I told myself to dream about things that were bothering me to try to gain some sort of former clarity. I don't remember what I had a dream about, but this morning I woke up feeling great. Like a huge weight had been lifted off of my shoulders.
As much as I think I don't want to admit this, I am much better off without him. Life is short and I deserve to be happy. That of which he makes me not. I'm burying that idealistic dream. Imagine that you are on the worlds fastest, most fantastical roller coaster. The one you've been waiting your whole life to go on. You barely sit down it takes off at lightning speed before you've gotten a chance to strap yourself in. You're scared shitless, holding on for dear life, watching the world pass you by as if nothing else matters. You go with it because there's nothing else you can do. You wouldn't stop it even if you could. Adrenaline surges through your body when all of a sudden the ride comes to an abrupt halt and you're violently thrown. Landing in the ocean. You look up. Submerged, you can see a dim light above. It feels as tho you will never breath air again. Just when you think all hope is lost, a force from within pushes you to rise. You swim to the top and take a gasping deep breath. You can see the shore, but it's not easy to reach. Clouds cover the once radiant sun. Riptides pull you away, you're swimming sideways. By the time you near the shore you are exhausted. You feel the earth beneath your feet. You close your eyes as you walk onto the gentle surf, feeling the warmth of the sun on your skin. You stand still. A breeze begins to blow. You breathe deep the cool air. As you exhale you open your eyes feeling cleansed. The sky is clear and blue. You can see for miles in front you. Nothing is in your way now. Don't you dare look back. No more dreaming like a girl so in love with the wrong world.
That story plays in many different songs for me. Only with more detail, if you can, or want to imagine.
Maybe I am making myself out to be the victim here, maybe not. Either way, I can't change the past.
Last night I told myself to dream about things that were bothering me to try to gain some sort of former clarity. I don't remember what I had a dream about, but this morning I woke up feeling great. Like a huge weight had been lifted off of my shoulders.
As much as I think I don't want to admit this, I am much better off without him. Life is short and I deserve to be happy. That of which he makes me not. I'm burying that idealistic dream. Imagine that you are on the worlds fastest, most fantastical roller coaster. The one you've been waiting your whole life to go on. You barely sit down it takes off at lightning speed before you've gotten a chance to strap yourself in. You're scared shitless, holding on for dear life, watching the world pass you by as if nothing else matters. You go with it because there's nothing else you can do. You wouldn't stop it even if you could. Adrenaline surges through your body when all of a sudden the ride comes to an abrupt halt and you're violently thrown. Landing in the ocean. You look up. Submerged, you can see a dim light above. It feels as tho you will never breath air again. Just when you think all hope is lost, a force from within pushes you to rise. You swim to the top and take a gasping deep breath. You can see the shore, but it's not easy to reach. Clouds cover the once radiant sun. Riptides pull you away, you're swimming sideways. By the time you near the shore you are exhausted. You feel the earth beneath your feet. You close your eyes as you walk onto the gentle surf, feeling the warmth of the sun on your skin. You stand still. A breeze begins to blow. You breathe deep the cool air. As you exhale you open your eyes feeling cleansed. The sky is clear and blue. You can see for miles in front you. Nothing is in your way now. Don't you dare look back. No more dreaming like a girl so in love with the wrong world.
That story plays in many different songs for me. Only with more detail, if you can, or want to imagine.
Maybe I am making myself out to be the victim here, maybe not. Either way, I can't change the past.