being a good parent destroys you

[SearchingforPeace]

Being a good parent will physiologically destroy you, new research confirms - Quartz

Damn, maybe I just need to give up being a good dad...

The money quote

A team from Northwestern University has examined the hidden costs of parental empathy. They found that while the children of empathetic parents are better off physically and emotionally, the parents’ cells reveal chronic, low-grade inflammation. When their children suffer psychologically, empathetic parents’ immune systems take a hit.

Researchers surveyed 247 pairs of parents and their adolescent children on how often and to what degree parents could understand their children’s feelings and respond with appropriate concern. They also took blood samples. Empathetic parents and their children were both better off psychologically. Children of empathetic parents also showed lower levels of inflammatory markers . Their parents were just the opposite. Their samples revealed this low-grade systemic inflammation.

Read the whole thing. ...

 

[Kingu Kurimuzon]

It's no surprise to me nor a coincidence that I've been sprouting grey hairs in my ginger beard since my son was birthed into this miserable world. At this rate, I'll look like old Luke Skywalker by age 45.

 

[Grand Admiral Crunch]

The article attributes the higher levels of inflammatory markers to empathetic parents taking care of their children and ot themselves. The inflammatory markers might just be higher due to empathy, regardless of self care. Like, if I were to let my child cry more rather than dropping everything and running to her, the crying would upset me more than addressing the problem.

Damn my mothering instincts!

 

[Silent]

I say the damage is minor compared to the benefits for the children.

 

[geedoenfj]

Either way we're eventually going to leave this world, I better live as a good parent..

 

[magpie]

That title seems a bit hyperbolic.

 

[ceecee]

I say the damage is minor compared to the benefits for the children.

My step-kids mom also says this type of thing. Then again, she doesn't contribute enough anything to qualify as a parent.

I personally feel if you and your mate think and act as a unified team, there is far less damage to parents. However, you can have empathy and be a great parent without sacrificing everything about your own health and well being. A good amount of this, people bring on themselves.

 

[Grand Admiral Crunch]

My step-kids mom also says this type of thing. Then again, she doesn't contribute enough anything to qualify as a parent.

I personally feel if you and your mate think and act as a unified team, there is far less damage to parents. However, you can have empathy and be a great parent without sacrificing everything about your own health and well being. A good amount of this, people bring on themselves.

I'm nursing, so a little bit more of the childcare responsibilities falls on me than my SO, but the teamwork helps. If I can just make it to the other side of one year old, this should get easier, I hope.

*yawn* I'm so tired.

 

[Mole]

Natural Selection has seen to it that parents adore their children, otherwise we would not be here. Nature has seen to it that mothers eat the burnt chop themselves, rather than giving it to their children.

But can we have our cake and eat it too? Can we adore our children without eating the burnt chop?