Attraction: Male & Female (Not Only Sexual)

[Julius_Van_Der_Beak]

I like intelligence combined with wittiness/playfullness. Those things are pretty attractive, IMO.

 

[SearchingforPeace]

Friendship: I like being friends with women, but they get too interested in me sexually and romantically. As such, I try to keep all my RL friendships through my wife. My wife was a friend first.

My friends tend to be men then, though I am very friendly with women. My guy friends have included a variety of types. Outside of a few, very close friends, I tend to have separate groups of superficial friends. As boy, I had my cousin, who was my best friend, then my school friends, my neighborhood friends, and my church friends, none of which overlapped.

I love those who carry conversations well. A 4 hour hardcore argument is amazing. A 4 hour informative discussion is great, too...

I notice I do this as an adult......I guess not much has changed.....

Sexually: I like passionate women. Height does not matter much even though I am 6'5", and I dated women from 6'4" to 4'10". That's about it. Just be fun and willing to be taken to heights of pleasure beyond your wildest dreams.

Romantically: When I was younger, I liked challenge. I didn't care about whether girls were intelligent and such. I would be much different today, given what I have felt I have lacked.

If I were ever to be single, I would look for a vivacious, intelligent, fun, sexy woman. I think I would want to decrease the challenge factor, but maybe not. I would like my potential SO to be a little more interested in philosophy, politics, history, art, literature, etc than my wife. Oh, and caring..... I really need to feel like I am loved.....

 

[Lady Lazarus]

My preference is for the rarest of birds, the altruist.

 

[fetus]

Relationships: I prefer thin crust to thick crust pizza

No, that's not an innuendo.
I'm literally talking about pizza as my relationship status.

 

[Kullervo]

What are you attracted to?

I have made my fair share of posts on this but my whims change with my moods and time...so here goes.

I am attracted to Ti/Fe users. They don't have to be iNtuitives, but because my Ni is so powerful romance with Sensors can be challenging; to develop the degree of connection and intensity I like, you need to be able to read between the lines, and semiconsciously intuit what I'm feeling. I never said it was going to be easy, but what I omit is as important as what I say. Because I'm not casual or patient enough to attract a NTP, ENFJs and INFJs are the only types who can "get me" and seem keen to sleep with me.

I like a woman with elegance, mystery, and presence. Her voice and facial expression should be burning and seductive. Hmm...dark red lipstick, heart-shaped face, and wavy, dirty-blonde hair down to shoulder length. She should wear a dress, and it must be black and white, not much colour or complex patterns. Perfume uses natural notes and is not overdone. Again: unpretentious elegance and nobility. Nice defined tits (B cup), hips and ass, I like a hairy bush too. Oh as I have said, most American accents are a turn on (except the Western one...meh). I am in an aggressive mood today so let's go with something neurotic like New York. She'll end up much like the girl in my signature.

I need someone who can look after themselves, but wants to be looked after. People on this forum know that I feel society overvalues independence; we're a phobic, dispassionate people and struggle to create meaningful connections as a result. Many of you reading this will have lost a guy because you got scared and shut him off. Now I am going to die someday and don't have time for that bullshit anymore. Take it or leave it.

 

[Raffaella]

Friendships:

I like being friends with men, but they get too interested in me sexually and romantically and I really think it's because I'm 6'5''.


Relationships:

I love entitled bitches.

 

[Tilt]

Men are usually the ones who gravitate towards me because I am told I make them feel "emotionally safe" and "understood". I tend to pull back/hold back. Other women tend to dislike my aloofness so it's hit or miss. However, I tend to get on best with dominant women.

 

[baccheion]

Friendships: anyone, as long as they aren't judgmental, narrow-minded, controlling, annoying, nagging, backward, guardian-like, etc.

Romantic relationships: ethical, attractive, and not stupid or prone to projecting, making BS accusations, or being overly emotional/sensitive.

Sexual/Physical attraction: butt (this alone will do it for me, unless she's really ugly or really overweight (though if she has a nice butt while having extra pounds, then she probably carries those pounds well, and I won't even notice)), legs, thighs, face (eyes, teeth/smile, and hair (color and style) especially). Also, dancing (the erotic, steamy, suggestive kind) well.

 

[Mvika]

Money.

 

[Cloudpatrol]

+

 

[Tilt]

+

Just a random question but do you believe in "soul connections"? Not necessarily soul mates, but more in general? I have always had strong, hard-to-explain connections with certain people. It often turns out that it becomes awkward when I try to put it into words. However, these people stick with me through the weirdest stuff and I can reach out in a few months-years like nothing ever happened -- time never mattered.

 

[Cowardly]

Physical/mental sweetness combined with physical/mental wildness. In short, sweet messy-haired bad boys/girls. It must be why I took to [MENTION=24829]Masokissed[/MENTION] so quickly.

 

[Thursday]

What are you attracted to in a woman?
Their presence is enough that I am attracted to them. Like going into nature, being around women is effortlessly wonderful.

In girls for purposes of friendship?
Someone's who's weird and playful.


What in girls for romantic pursuit?
When she's colorful and a bit shy. When she's pragmatic and sensual yet innocent. Resting-bitchface and/or a little melancholy. A girl thats a little mean or critical.

 

[Cloudpatrol]

Just a random question but do you believe in "soul connections"? Not necessarily soul mates, but more in general? I have always had strong, hard-to-explain connections with certain people. It often turns out that it becomes awkward when I try to put it into words. However, these people stick with me through the weirdest stuff and I can reach out in a few months-years like nothing ever happened -- time never mattered.

Yes! I am not a big believer in the concept of soul mates, [MENTION=26163]FutureInProgress[/MENTION]. Or “one true love” (though I do believe in true, quality love). But, those connections are difficult to put a name to -as you say- and are treasures. You are speaking non-romantically also, right?

I find that most of my best connections follow what you describe…communication that ebbs and flows with life’s circumstances but is effortless to pick up and hugely pleasing/rewarding.

Isn’t it a privilege to get to experience this kind of thing?

 

[OrangeAppled]

For female friends, I tend to be friends with women who have an individual style, because they don't seem easily threatened by others who do their own thing. Generally, I like women with a strong sense of individuality. They are also really emotionally honest and not two-faced. I like women who can enjoy themselves without pretending to feel guilty or needing to care for everyone else first, and who don't need tons of consensus or validation. I also like funny women. My female friends are very funny and candid.

More and more, most of my girlfriends are other xxFPs, with a few ISTJs tossed in, as they are the female T type I encounter most.

For men, what I like and what I date seems to be two different things . I had a tendency to date whoever liked me that I was not actively turned-off by, because otherwise I would date no one. Ideally, I like lighter looks, such as blond or even strawberry hair, and a tall/lean build. But I find myself able to be attracted to quite a variety. I like a refined style without being foppish or feminine (not into metro or hipster looks). I tend to like "good guys" - possessing integrity and a moral stance, kind, thoughtful, etc. Being intelligent and spiritual is a must, and emotional maturity is really important too (I am DONE being a free therapist). The most important thing is he appreciates me and my strengths, ones which go beyond my appearance or anything status-related.

As for MBTI type, I still don't know... I used to idealize ENFJs for a romantic partner, but that has passed.

 

[Blackout]

I'm not gay so it's not like that or anything.

Actually, I don't really know at this point, I feel like real love very rare so it's hard to really care anymore about even finding it. It's all just superficialities from here on out it would seem and it would seem to make the world go around. I guess it's not even really love, just a deep connection and a sense that the person is really there for you, even if it's only for a short time. But it feels like often, people try on and date people like they try on new shoes, and are really quick to throw them away. I guess I just like people who feel the same way I do, in a really typical sounding feeler-esque thing but it's true.

I guess I like women who are independent, or at least a little bit, but not too butch dykey and ornery. Like I have known some women who just want to try and control you or everything else and are really angry/bitter but won't admit it or deal with it; but likewise it's the same for men like that as well I suppose. Typically I find men are actually more like that( or have that issue, the repressed bitter emotions they ignore but are apparent to everyone) then women though.

I really like freckles for some reason? and maybe a sense of playfulness I guess? god I hate people who are too serious all the time. I like people who are childlike because I am also kind of childlike I guess. I don't know why so people are, but has anyone ever noticed that some people stay seeming sort of like kids for some reason? I am totally one of those people. Typically though, I seem to get along better with women for some reason. I relate to them more or something actually (weird?) and enjoy their company more. I don't like most other men for some reason. I also like women who are a little tomboyish (but not too much?) for some reason. I find it attractive when they wear flannel and baseball cats for some reason...
like the whole living ornament thing is not really that attractive.
I guess also people who have been banged around by life too a bit. I can't relate to people who have never suffered at all. People who are scared and damaged.

Kill them all!

 

[SpankyMcFly]

I like women with doe-like prey features (large eyes, etc), but I also like women with sharp feline predatory features.

This is pretty common and a 'thing', with a name, neoteny.

"Many prominent evolutionary theorists propose that neoteny has been a key feature in human evolution. Stephen Jay Gould believed that the "evolutionary story" of humans is one where we have been "retaining to adulthood the originally juvenile features of our ancestors".[12] J. B. S. Haldane mirrors Gould's hypothesis by stating a "major evolutionary trend in human beings" is "greater prolongation of childhood and retardation of maturity."[5] Delbert D. Thiessen said that "neoteny becomes more apparent as early primates evolved into later forms" and that primates have been "evolving toward flat face."[13] However, in light of some groups using arguments based around neoteny to support racism, Gould also argued "that the whole enterprise of ranking groups by degree of neoteny is fundamentally unjustified" (Gould, 1996, pg. 150).[14]

Doug Jones, a visiting scholar in anthropology at Cornell University, said that human evolution's trend toward neoteny may have been caused by sexual selection in human evolution for neotenous facial traits in women by men with the resulting neoteny in male faces being a "by-product" of sexual selection for neotenous female faces. Jones said that this type of sexual selection "likely" had a major role in human evolution once a larger proportion of women lived past the age of menopause. This increasing proportion of women who were too old to reproduce resulted in a greater variance in fecundity in the population of women, and it resulted in a greater sexual selection for indicators of youthful fecundity in women by men.[15]"

Neoteny in humans - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Some reading material/homework for you , or not.

Neoteny and Two-Way Sexual Selection in Human Evolution: A Paleo-Anthropological Speculation on the Origins of Secondary-Sexual Traits, Male Nurturing and the Child as a Sexual Image ~ Journal of Social and Evolutionary Systems, vol.18(3) pp.257-276, January 1996.

Neoteny and Two-Way Sexual Selection in Human Evolution

 

[SpankyMcFly]

[MENTION=27162]Cloudpatrol[/MENTION]

You might be interested in a study out of High-Performance Electrical NeuroImaging Laboratory | The University of Chicago Love Is in the Gaze An Eye-Tracking Study of Love and Sexual Desire ~ Love Is in the Gaze

"Previous research by Cacioppo has shown that different networks of brain regions are activated by love and sexual desire. In this study, the team performed two experiments to test visual patterns in an effort to assess two different emotional and cognitive states that are often difficult to disentangle from one another—romantic love and sexual desire (lust).

Male and female students from the University of Geneva viewed a series of black-and-white photographs of persons they had never met. In part one of the study, participants viewed photos of young, adult heterosexual couples who were looking at or interacting with each other. In part two, participants viewed photographs of attractive individuals of the opposite sex who were looking directly at the camera/viewer. None of the photos contained nudity or erotic images.

In both experiments, participants were placed before a computer and asked to look at different blocks of photographs and decide as rapidly and precisely as possible whether they perceived each photograph or the persons in the photograph as eliciting feelings of sexual desire or romantic love. The study found no significant difference in the time it took subjects to identify romantic love versus sexual desire, which shows how quickly the brain can process both emotions, the researchers believe.

But analysis of the eye-tracking data from the two studies revealed marked differences in eye movement patterns, depending on whether the subjects reported feeling sexual desire or romantic love. People tended to visually fixate on the face, especially when they said an image elicited a feeling of romantic love. However, with images that evoked sexual desire, the subjects’ eyes moved from the face to fixate on the rest of the body. The effect was found for male and female participants.

“By identifying eye patterns that are specific to love-related stimuli, the study may contribute to the development of a biomarker that differentiates feelings of romantic love versus sexual desire,” said co-author John Cacioppo, the Tiffany and Margaret Blake Distinguished Service Professor and director of the Center for Cognitive and Social Neuroscience. “An eye-tracking paradigm may eventually offer a new avenue of diagnosis in clinicians’ daily practice or for routine clinical exams in psychiatry and/or couple therapy.”

This reminds me of my personal experience with the matter. I've been in love 3 times in my life and by FAR the strongest was my last wife. Up until this relationship I had never experienced puppy dog eyes. I thought it was kinda dumb/hyperbolic and an eye rolling concept. That is until it happened to me. While I was courting her we'd literally be talking and then the talking would fade away as we'd both stare/gaze at each others eyes. I'd lose track of time, words were not needed. It 'hurt' so good, I felt like I was going to burst. The human vessel is not designed to bear so much happiness/greatness in such large doses. Understanding the chemistry/biology etc. behind it has put it into perspective.

 

[Dyslexxie]

This is a really difficult thing for me to really put into words.

For friendships I guess I generally like outgoing and laid back people who are fairly adventurous. I like having friends I can go out and do stuff with. I also appreciate intelligence and drive in others.

For romantic relationships I definitely have a type. I appreciate intelligence and extroversion, and men that are fairly outgoing without being sleazy and creepy. I also like independence and ambition and a lot of drive - I could never date someone who doesn't have goals or a direction. I also need someone with a great sense of adventure who enjoys life. Being passionate is very attractive to me as well. Also, I hardcore judge people on their taste in music because I'm that person.

 

[Rebeka]

most of my friends are definitely NT/NF types, because with them I can open myself completely and share my interests and intimate feelings. However I also relate to ESFJs, whom I find really warm and involved people, and to the SP who are very kind and opened to new perspectives. There are some hints of SJ that I like, especially their reliability, because they are loyal people, but that issue is not what brings friendship connections to me