[ENFP] Ask an ENFP

[oneandonly]

Can you count on an ENFP to be committed??

 

[Qlip]

Can you count on an ENFP to be committed??

Absolutely. The hard part is trusting that the ENFP knows enough about themselves to tell the truth about it.

 

[oneandonly]

Absolutely. The hard part is trusting that the ENFP knows enough about themselves to tell the truth about it.

Those 2 things seem incongruent. Is there a propensity to lie about transgressions? if they occur?

 

[Qlip]

Those 2 things seem incongruent. Is there a propensity to lie about transgressions? if they occur?

I meant for the ENFP to understand enough about themselves to be able to truthfully say that they are committed to you. This isn't so much about lying, but about hoping for something that may be beyond them and their personal experience.

As far as cheating and lying, well, that isn't about types that's about cheaters and liars. Are you two on the same page? Does he explicitly know that you expect exclusivity?

 

[five sounds]

Can you count on an ENFP to be committed??

Yes. We're a hopeful bunch which is what qlip is alluding to I think. We can fall into idealization and then get hit with the less rosy truth like a ton of bricks. But I think we're also very sensitive to the health of the relationship and happiness of our partner, and most ENFPs I know are often the first to bring issues up and try to find a win-win solution.

 

[oneandonly]

I meant for the ENFP to understand enough about themselves to be able to truthfully say that they are committed to you. This isn't so much about lying, but about hoping for something that may be beyond them and their personal experience.

Yes. We're a hopeful bunch which is what qlip is alluding to I think. We can fall into idealization and then get hit with the less rosy truth like a ton of bricks.

Okay I understand... it's like promising flowers in Winter.

 

[oneandonly]

He was my soulmate. But he wasn't able to be this time, not in this life, & I won't fault him for it. Because, he meant to bring me flowers. I know that to be true.

 

[Starry]

He was my soulmate. But he wasn't able to be this time, not in this life, & I won't fault him for it. Because, he meant to bring me flowers. I know that to be true.

What happened oneandonly if you don't mind me asking? What makes you certain he's unable to deliver on those flowers? FJs think a little differently...a lot differently concerning these things it seems. Compelled to have things neatly *finalized* at all points on the map...when we're merely at rest stops along the way...possibly distracted by the free coffee or lack of paper towels...but on the inside of a story that has no beginning or end.

 

[oneandonly]

What happened oneandonly if you don't mind me asking? What makes you certain he's unable to deliver on those flowers? FJs think a little differently...a lot differently concerning these things it seems. Compelled to have things neatly *finalized* at all points on the map...when we're merely at rest stops along the way...possibly distracted by the free coffee or lack of paper towels...but on the inside of a story that has no beginning or end.

He overestimated his ability to start a new relationship. After we were already in one. He wasn't ready. He went back to his ex-girlfriend. But I had fallen already, trusting his words, I disregarded some subtle signs. I did not want to believe it wasn't meant to be, because the connection felt with him was so strong. He had his share of problems, PTSD, War Veteran, Anxiety. But we were both enamored with eathother. He just couldn't move forward.

 

[Starry]

He overestimated his ability to start a new relationship. After we were already in one. He wasn't ready. He went back to his ex-girlfriend. But I had fallen already, trusting his words, I disregarded some subtle signs. I did not want to believe it wasn't meant to be, because the connection felt with him was so strong. He had his share of problems, PTSD, War Veteran, Anxiety. But we were both enamored with eathother. He just couldn't move forward.

Whoa. Things got all changed around in my mind with the introduction of War Veteran.

I know an individual that works with Veterans struggling with PTSD. I was disappointed to discover one evening that he puts approximately zero stock into MBTI until an INFJ friend corrected my thinking by calmly asking "why would he?" "Combat related PTSD would cut deeper... far past the superficial layers of 'the personality' would it not?" I believe it would.

I appreciate your post very much.

 

[oneandonly]

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Thank you all for helping me understand better, I wrote the best song of my life tonight. You can guess what it's called

 

[Starry]

Thank you all for helping me understand better, I wrote the best song of my life tonight. You can guess what it's called

I'm glad for you oneandonly although once you expanded on your story... anything "helpful" I had in mind to say to you fell apart.

I thought about this situation a little more though and my gut tells me he shut everything down prematurely for fear his issues would ultimately cause you harm/exploit you in some way.

I still want to be named on the album though...

 

[ai116]

Can you count on an ENFP to be committed??

Course - but it also depends on who they enter the relationship with and how much they like you

 

[Hitoshi-San]

What is the most common misconception people have about ENFPs, and what's something people should really know about them?

 

[Qlip]

What is the most common misconception people have about ENFPs, and what's something people should really know about them?

We're not nearly as fuzzy as people think we are. When it comes to matters of values we hard-line. And we aren't as compliant and aimless as people think we are. As most people do, we have ways of directing our lives and effecting our environment. Our end goals just happen to usually be possibility, which only seems pointless. Our methods involve positioning people and externals and riding them 'out',

 

[five sounds]

We're not nearly as fuzzy as people think we are. When it comes to matters of values we hard-line. And we aren't as compliant and aimless as people think we are. As most people do, we have ways of directing our lives and effecting our environment. Our end goals just happen to usually be possibility, which only seems pointless. Our methods involve positioning people and externals and riding them 'out',

I was having trouble thinking of a response to this question and I think you did a great job.

Maybe your fresh enlightenment is showing.

 

[skippythecat]

Is it a trait of ENFPs to get moody at someone's change of mind at the last minute (even when you change your mind for the millionth's time)?

 

[Qlip]

Is it a trait of ENFPs to get moody at someone's change of mind at the last minute (even when you change your mind for the millionth's time)?

Well, yeah. It may be very ENFP to change your mind, but I think it's very anytype to be upset at changing something you were looking forward to. It's a pretty standard form of hypocrite.

 

[Riva]

I've never seem an enfp (or infp) take part in a political thread. Are you folks unaware or dont care?

Perhaps it's the live and let live thingy.

 

[Riva]

Wait che guevera is an enfp (or enfj).

So an nfp wouldnt get interested in politics unless they feel there should ne a complete rebellion i guess.