are your type-related "harmless jokes" really as funny as you think?

[Kora]

I think she's talking quantity of jokes. Like I'd bet she could do a mathematical ratio of reps related to joking about her SFness and I'd bet you'd be very surprised.

I see. Oh, then I quite agree with you, Sarah. Quality over quantity, but I still think you're taking it very personal.

 

[Colors]

Why shouldn't she take it personally, when the remarks are directed at her person?

She's pointing out that even though you may not intend harm or notice harm, it doesn't mean there isn't harm. When mean-spirited remarks that are not particularly funny are oft-repeated to the point of banality, it seems to betray an underlying environment of hostility.

Sarah, it sucks that people give you back-handed complements. You're a crusader 'round here. An eloquent one to boot.

 

[Edgar]

You guys are too picky.

I'll take any shitty ol' compliment... backhanded or not.

 

[Simplexity]

Well, I hardly believe the definition of an "NT" is a person who is compelled to make supid "jokes" that people never found funny the first hundred or so times they read them or heard them said. If you think so, then that's too bad. Discuss that with the other NTs who perhaps don't share your viewpoint.

Note that I didn't say "don't be witty". I said that I find this particular type of backhanded compliment humor not all witty, and that hearing type-related insults over and over is tiresome rather than amusing. And by the way, I fully predicted that anyone who thinks offensive type-related comments are fun to dish out would just get defensive. How very predictable.

Sarah

I was actually talking about the take a very good amount of time processing others feelings. In terms of making a post that is pretty much impossible for me. I don't sit and think for hours (which is basically what it would take me to actually process what others could feel) about how my post might affect someone personally. My nature is to provide my "rationale," that sometimes and if real life is any reference, might conflict moderately enough with others feelings and value based opinions. When I was younger I tried to make them change in accordance to my preferences but I realized that was a very stupid thing to do, because it never seemed like I "won". I did learn however to flex based on peoples emotions, but rarely if ever did people try, or were they forced to flex based on my need for reasoning.

I'm not arguing that I can just be a reckless asshole and make jokes with the sole purpose of belittling others, that would be stupid whatever type you are. I just don't know if its reasonable to expect me to be hyper vigilante about how others could take my messages. It's a little bit absurd to ask me to suspend my reasoning and thought process each and every time, basically because some people may be more emotional than I and take things too hard. I don't ask you to rarely post what you feel because I don't like to hear emotional things and would prefer strict technical discussions with sound reasoning. That would be inconsiderate of me.

 

[ygolo]

Jokes in bad taste (done with people who you know well, not some random person) can be funny. What makes them not funny is the sheer volume of them.

People in the minority hear them. Every day. Multiple times. You may just be saying one thing to x person, but x person interacts with more than just you.

Like your sexist jokes about how even the worst man is better than the best woman. Haha. Funny. (Genuinely has the potential to be funny as it mocks male ego, etc.) But we heard that when we were in elementary school every day at recess from the boys, and we continue to hear it daily. It's not a funny joke anymore to people in the minority who hear it constantly. That's true for anyone who constantly interacts as the minority.

Be more creative. It can get to the point where you feel like the person making the easiest joke is wasting your life, you hear it that often.

I think this is a good point.

In addition, sometimes jokes betray a prejudice that runs a lot deeper. That is why people really take offense. If people knew one didn't believe any of the crap one was saying then, it would be different.

Among strangers, especially those who have experienced discrimination directly, jokes have a rather different meaning.

2) an insecure person who has no personal accomplishments to show for, views being of certain type as an achievement of its own, in order to supplement for his otherwise low self esteem.

I think this is what happens a lot.

Some of it is understandable--feeling like an outcast or a defective person till you find out you are a certain type and that's why you've been so weird is a sort of vindication that it is OK to be you.

But that is true for people of all types of people who have been placed in situations where their own qualities have caused them a lot of trouble. There is nothing particularly special about a particular type...or you could look at it like we are all "special." Take your pick.

 

[Tigerlily]

Sarah you're focusing on what you view to be negative and ignoring the positive comments several posters have made here, eh em...present company included.

I never thought I'd say this to someone other than myself, but I think you're being too sensitive.

 

[Jae Rae]

Sarah, I suggest you try the Ignore function. As this thread indicates, you can't change the jokers' attitudes, so if what they say bothers you, try that. Many people here are relatively mature and thoughtful - why not ignore the ones who aren't?

I will also say participation on the forum involves being tested as a newcomer - I was slammed early on by a senior member. It's not meant as personally as it seems.

You've made friends here and you'll make more. But everyone won't like your type or other things about you. Try to let some things go.

 

[G-Virus]

An arabic slang saying goes: "Tanish, Ta'esh, Tanta'esh."

Ignore, you live, and then you live even better . . . doesn't sound as cool when translated.

 

[Edgar]

An arabic slang saying goes: "Tanish, Ta'esh, Tanta'esh."

Ignore, you live, and then you live even better . . . doesn't sound as cool when translated.

lol... judging by the news I read, Arabs are not very big on that saying

 

[G-Virus]

I would guess from my parents that most are SJ's.

 

[Anja]

Some people don't have anything else to offer to get attention so they settle for negative attention and call it "being tough." Compensation for lack of knowledge by trying to look superior.

A sad thing and painfully true in RL. It's expected for some young people. They may have never been cared about enough to be taught better. They have lots to learn yet before they have something useful to contribute. If they don't learn something along the way it looks pretty pathetic as one "matures."

Some feel a need to "punish" others for the hand life has dealt them. It's a self-perpetuating cycle of abuse. Wounded egos make for pretty miserable companions.

Other posters may be struggling with mood or thought disorders and not attending to their health.

If it's small consolation, their lives are much more miserable for them to live then it is for others to watch.

It grieves me to know something they don't. All they need to do is take a cue from those around them and do the hard work it takes to enter the society which they choose to distain because they don't know how to enter it.

Lonely, frustrated, angry, hurt. Tough way to live a life. And a poor decision not to try to change that.

 

[Edgar]

I would guess from my parents that most are SJ's.

That kind of goes for the rest of the world too.

 

[Amargith]

Question: Is it perhaps possible to use the knowledge of type another way?

I mean, I have seen some INTJ forums where they bash each other to pieces with jokes, and they actually say: I can say this coz I know you can take it. I wouldn't do this with an F. So maybe if we realize who we are replying to, we can take that info into account when answering?

As for us F's, maybe we can stop hugging and cuddling T's to death as that makes them uncomfortable, or so I've been told *grin*.

Just a thought
Amargith

 

[Edgar]

Question: Is it perhaps possible to use the knowledge of type another way?

I mean, I have seen some INTJ forums where they bash each other to pieces with jokes, and they actually say: I can say this coz I know you can take it. I wouldn't do this with an F. So maybe if we realize who we are replying to, we can take that info into account when answering?

As for us F's, maybe we can stop hugging and cuddling T's to death as that makes them uncomfortable, or so I've been told *grin*.

Just a thought
Amargith

Yes, it's a question of "emotional intelligence".

Some people have it, and some people... not so much.

 

[Anja]

I should have added, Sarah, that I understand that your OP wasn't as much a question as it was an opportunity to speak my mind about some of the maladaptive behaviors hereabouts and I appreciated that.

I like the phrase "pre-cognitive commitment." Guess that's what I was saying. My post sounds like a put-down, I realize. And I think any student of human behavior will recognize what truth there is in it.

The good news is that there are other ways to attempt self-development and satisfaction in life and being on a forum of this type is a beginning.

 

[Domino]

When I was a mechanic, I had to roll with a million "joking" put-downs a day. Some days, I could take it or even laugh it off. Other days, like when the ENTIRE garage full of guys were using me for mob target practice? I'd pretty much lose any patience I had left and it would be ON. I was the only woman in there and even though I knew it was going to be open-season on me more than it wasn't, I wasn't responsible for the idiocy of the people around me and I wasn't going to just stand there and let them crack the 50th "little lady" joke without getting it right between the eyes.

Consider the quantity of "nice for an S blah blah" the few Sensers on this board are dealing with. It's obnoxious and dim-witted repeated ad nauseum.

 

[Tallulah]

Sarah you're focusing on what you view to be negative and ignoring the positive comments several posters have made here, eh em...present company included.

I never thought I'd say this to someone other than myself, but I think you're being too sensitive.

Agreed. And I think a lot of it comes down to Sarah wanting more understanding for her type, while not really understanding that other types might have a different sense of humor than she does, and might not mean to be offensive at all.

Sarah, you seem like a very smart, very interesting person, but I can't help but notice how much of the time you spend on this board fighting for Sensor Rights, instead of just participating in the threads for fun.

 

[Domino]

We should all get together and just bite the heck out of each other. YAY! With nudity! And candy corn!


This message has been brought to you by Edahn.

 

[Edgar]

We should all get together and just bite the heck out of each other. [/I]

I must warn you, that I, as a dog, will have an edge.

... but I reckon you'll be able to hold your own too, being a piranha and all.

 

[Domino]

I must warn you, that I, as a dog, will have an edge.

... but I reckon you'll be able to hold your own too, being a piranha and all.

I haven't killed a cow in twenty seconds lately. I'm due for some practice.