greenfairy
philosopher wood nymph
- Joined
- May 25, 2012
- Messages
- 4,024
- MBTI Type
- iNfj
- Enneagram
- 6w5
- Instinctual Variant
- sx/sp
I wonder how you tell people they're annoying without actually telling them they're annoying?
Consequently I have several friends who I don't hang out with often and try to avoid because they annoy me. I don't really want to stop being friends with them because I think that would be mean. But maybe I should. I did with one girl because I realized we had zero in common.
Like this INFP on facebook. We had 2 really great conversations, and now she practically loves me. But I really don't want to be her friend.
Maybe most INTP's are more comfortable being mean than I am...
From the ages of about 7-19 I was really quiet and socially awkward, so I had to kind of take what I could get friend-wise. I always ended up resenting them because I thought they weren't cool enough, and I couldn't tell them I thought they were annoying. But I hated being lonely.
I've gotten a lot better with being social over the years, and I've gradually gotten to the point where I think I can pick and choose who I hang out with. I noticed that extroverts aren't just friends with everyone. They may talk with everyone and maintain good relations with a lot of people, but they only hang out with the people they actually like. That's what I aim for.
I noticed as I was thinking about this that I tend to find people either really annoying or not really at all. So it wouldn't be a problem to just avoid the people I find annoying. If someone does a certain thing I don't like, I can communicate it to them. But if their whole personality gets on my nerves, that's a red flag.
Ah. I feel so much better knowing this. I don't feel like a bad person for not wanting to be friends with certain people. There's no reason anyone has to like anyone, and people naturally gravitate toward people they like. And if you only hang out with people you like, and other people do the same, you can be assured that the people you like like you.
Consequently I have several friends who I don't hang out with often and try to avoid because they annoy me. I don't really want to stop being friends with them because I think that would be mean. But maybe I should. I did with one girl because I realized we had zero in common.
Like this INFP on facebook. We had 2 really great conversations, and now she practically loves me. But I really don't want to be her friend.
Maybe most INTP's are more comfortable being mean than I am...
From the ages of about 7-19 I was really quiet and socially awkward, so I had to kind of take what I could get friend-wise. I always ended up resenting them because I thought they weren't cool enough, and I couldn't tell them I thought they were annoying. But I hated being lonely.
I've gotten a lot better with being social over the years, and I've gradually gotten to the point where I think I can pick and choose who I hang out with. I noticed that extroverts aren't just friends with everyone. They may talk with everyone and maintain good relations with a lot of people, but they only hang out with the people they actually like. That's what I aim for.
I noticed as I was thinking about this that I tend to find people either really annoying or not really at all. So it wouldn't be a problem to just avoid the people I find annoying. If someone does a certain thing I don't like, I can communicate it to them. But if their whole personality gets on my nerves, that's a red flag.
Ah. I feel so much better knowing this. I don't feel like a bad person for not wanting to be friends with certain people. There's no reason anyone has to like anyone, and people naturally gravitate toward people they like. And if you only hang out with people you like, and other people do the same, you can be assured that the people you like like you.
