INFtha14
:)
- Joined
- Dec 9, 2008
- Messages
- 1,844
- MBTI Type
- INFP
- Enneagram
- 6w7
- Instinctual Variant
- sp/sx
I think i got it.
I was thinking after having a nice talk with my mother. Pretty much I was told, everyone has to go through this being the job search, going to college thus creating massively scary debt/loans. Some students don't even work while in college *well I am aiming to have some kind of work while in college. Part-time but work.*
So I just let my brain chew on it for a bit. I'm mostly scared of the loans I could be getting myself into so the question I was asking myself " Is it worth it? All those years in school to have to work just to pay off loans and stuff".
I looked on this site that is associated with a local college. They offer free tuition for some of their programs, so I just looked through it. Long story short. No XD. I know what I want and granted It wouldn't be a death sentence to do either culinary arts or medical secretary
.
But really a big reason for me going to college is these below.
1) It would provide a definite growth and would get me to experience what life is all about. Not partying, more being a grown up developing my own life.
2) I've been held back from participating in life, I'd be cutting myself short by limiting from me such a wonderful experience to get out there, see the world, explore. These are the things I have resented so much being taken away from me. I'll rack up a big loan then, at least I'll be living for once. I hear people saying how going to college has changed their life, they understand things with so much more of an open eye as they have seen it for themselves.
3) The road that i'm heading into, is just what I need. I'm scared, I need to fall and know that I will protect myself. Develop some faith in myself by seeing life for once with my own two eyes. What else is there to life? We all got to work anyway. I want to enjoy the ride along the way as well, otherwise that's just depressing. Work, work, work is not my style.
I want to be able to feel free.
4) The track i'm considering very strongly *archivist/media cataloger*, the MSLIS degree is in Syracuse. So I'd have to get a dorm, live away from everything I'm used to, friends/family etc. Though I don't like planning ahead to much, that's the most possible path.
I see it as, I'd be able to truly define who i am, what's my purpose, see things for myself, explore the world perhaps, who knows.
All the things that have held me back, no more.
I'll get to out from under some people's shadows they places over me *with as much love and respect to my mother, yes I am refering to my mother as well as my sisters*.
These people have held back the most from expecting me to just live my life "for" them.
I'll get to feel weight-less like a cloud. It won't be that easy to be in college, i'm refering to the control these people have had over me.
I'm also considering for when it comes to that time *MSLIS*, when I'm done. Find a town nearby that is at least and no more then an hour and half away from my Home Town.
I think I will need the closeness but the space to develop my own niche in my life. I still would like to stop by and see my childhood friends on weekends, obviously my mother/even sisters.
Just phychologically, that space will help me live my own life. Doesn't mean of course that my mother won't still try to manipulate me despite the distance but I can always politely say I got to go and hang up the phone or repeat a similar motion in physicality.
I heard you can say stuff like " I came here to see you cause I love you mother but if I hear/is done to me, once more I'm going to have to leave".
And if it gets repeated or she resists
" Okay, well I got to get going as I need my space right now *or something?*
Remember i love you and I will come again *insert day of weekend to visit*.
I'm all ready for setting boundaries heh. She will not rule my life. She'll be in my life, but she will not pull her manipulative techniques on me to control me *my reactions etc*.
But i'm looking forward to the journey that will be my life yay!!!.
With love XD,
Dots.
I was thinking after having a nice talk with my mother. Pretty much I was told, everyone has to go through this being the job search, going to college thus creating massively scary debt/loans. Some students don't even work while in college *well I am aiming to have some kind of work while in college. Part-time but work.*
So I just let my brain chew on it for a bit. I'm mostly scared of the loans I could be getting myself into so the question I was asking myself " Is it worth it? All those years in school to have to work just to pay off loans and stuff".
I looked on this site that is associated with a local college. They offer free tuition for some of their programs, so I just looked through it. Long story short. No XD. I know what I want and granted It wouldn't be a death sentence to do either culinary arts or medical secretary
. But really a big reason for me going to college is these below.
1) It would provide a definite growth and would get me to experience what life is all about. Not partying, more being a grown up developing my own life.
2) I've been held back from participating in life, I'd be cutting myself short by limiting from me such a wonderful experience to get out there, see the world, explore. These are the things I have resented so much being taken away from me. I'll rack up a big loan then, at least I'll be living for once. I hear people saying how going to college has changed their life, they understand things with so much more of an open eye as they have seen it for themselves.
3) The road that i'm heading into, is just what I need. I'm scared, I need to fall and know that I will protect myself. Develop some faith in myself by seeing life for once with my own two eyes. What else is there to life? We all got to work anyway. I want to enjoy the ride along the way as well, otherwise that's just depressing. Work, work, work is not my style.
I want to be able to feel free.
4) The track i'm considering very strongly *archivist/media cataloger*, the MSLIS degree is in Syracuse. So I'd have to get a dorm, live away from everything I'm used to, friends/family etc. Though I don't like planning ahead to much, that's the most possible path
.I see it as, I'd be able to truly define who i am, what's my purpose, see things for myself, explore the world perhaps
, who knows.All the things that have held me back, no more.
I'll get to out from under some people's shadows they places over me *with as much love and respect to my mother, yes I am refering to my mother as well as my sisters*.
These people have held back the most from expecting me to just live my life "for" them.
I'll get to feel weight-less like a cloud. It won't be that easy to be in college, i'm refering to the control these people have had over me.
I'm also considering for when it comes to that time *MSLIS*, when I'm done. Find a town nearby that is at least and no more then an hour and half away from my Home Town.
I think I will need the closeness but the space to develop my own niche in my life. I still would like to stop by and see my childhood friends on weekends, obviously my mother/even sisters.
Just phychologically, that space will help me live my own life. Doesn't mean of course that my mother won't still try to manipulate me despite the distance but I can always politely say I got to go and hang up the phone or repeat a similar motion in physicality.
I heard you can say stuff like " I came here to see you cause I love you mother but if I hear/is done to me, once more I'm going to have to leave".
And if it gets repeated or she resists
" Okay, well I got to get going as I need my space right now *or something?*
Remember i love you and I will come again *insert day of weekend to visit*.
I'm all ready for setting boundaries heh. She will not rule my life. She'll be in my life, but she will not pull her manipulative techniques on me to control me *my reactions etc*.
But i'm looking forward to the journey that will be my life yay!!!
.With love XD,
Dots.
.
