[ENTP] A few problems being an ENTP has caused

[YoungGun2112]

I classify myself as an ENTP. One of my biggest problems in life, which comes a lot from my type, is that I like to deal with the abstract, future, and theory. I am not "for" jumping out there and getting too involved in life, or the moment, and am often living in the theory of what hasn't happened yet. This has led to a few problems. I neglect the moments in my life that bring me tons of joy, like spending time with friends and family, having an adventure, and just living, because I am very independent and enjoy the times I can do my own thing and not get too wrapped up in the moment.

The same personality characteristic mentioned above, also causes laziness ony my part. I can get frustrated with situations, get caught up in my own thing, or just stop trying because I am really not a "doer" but more of an "inventor", and neglect the chores in my life that need to be done. Then, I will usually improvise and do them half-assed, and not to the level that they should or need to be done. Or maybe I won't do them at all. This also causes a few problems.

Lastly, I am a bit socially awkward. Not totally, I have a great group of friends, and plenty of friends, but it seems like often times I can draw connections in my head that others can't, then make a joke, and nobody knows what the hell I am talking about but myself. I am so wrapped up in the millions of thoughts and ideas flying through my head, that what comes out of my mouth after the thoughts have all been quickly gone through sometimes makes no sense to the person hearing it.

I reason that a lot of these problems stem from my emphasis on the N characteristic. What I want to do is become more of a hybrid, an ExTP, who doesn't stay at home posting Myers-Briggs theory on a forum, but goes out there and lives his life. This shouldn't be too hard because I am in some ways an ESTP already. I think this will solve a lot of the bigger problems in my life right now (And I don't have that many, thankfully ). I want to eliminate a lot of the waste that my N type causes, but keep a lot of the N characteristics I enjoy. Like my ability to think deeply and theoretically. And I don't want to run around in the moment, acting like a complete idiot, which I think keeping some N characteristics might allow me to do. Being an N has also helped me think about my personality, and what I can do to better change it and help myself out. I like myself a lot, but everyone has room to change and be better.

So from here on out, I pledge to simply start doing, and try to become a Extp, and hopefully a better person.

 

[Kiddo]

What you need to do is find a nice INFJ to take care of you.

 

[YoungGun2112]

What you need to do is find a nice INFJ to take care of you.

Actually, I have always loved ESTPs and ENTPs. . I've always got along great with them, and they have been my partners in crime for a long while. I find I have great relationships with many of them I meet. I suppose because those two personalities are most similar to mine, that I am almost always on the same page when I meet someone of those types.

My mom is an INFJ, and a former girlfriend who I had a terrible relationship with was as well. I disagree on a lot of things with them. I think both people are a bit emotional, irrational, unspontaneous, too orderly, too detail oriented, not easygoing, clingy, judgemental, and have very high expectations causing them to be unreasonable when they are not met. (Please don't let that offend anybody. But for conversations sake, I am portraying the way I often feel my relationships with INFJs. Hopefully, nobody feels I am putting them down, because I don't feel those are bad traits at all, only traits that caused conflict with me).

I suppose a lot of people subscribe to the theory that the best possible match for any one person is the one that compliments it in the best manner? (I noticed that on personalitypage.com relationship profiles, a lot of the best matches are the exact opposite.) Might be true, but I reason that when two similar characteristics get together, they are always on the same page. But when two opposite personalities collide, they often think in different manners, reach different conclusions, and have different values, causing a conflict in personality and a constant breakdown in communication. Unless both types are completely sensitive to the others needs.

But maybe having two similar personalities together is a bit irresponsible. When everyone is on the same page, who will pay attention to the other side of the coin?

 

[Kiddo]

I think both people are a bit emotional, irrational, unspontaneous, too orderly, too detail oriented, not easygoing, clingy, judgemental, and have very high expectations causing them to be unreasonable when they are not met. (Please don't let that offend anybody. But for conversations sake, I am portraying the way I often feel my relationships with INFJs. Hopefully, nobody feels I am putting them down, because I don't feel those are bad traits at all, only traits that caused conflict with me).

I was looking for a list of some INFJ traits that could be perceived as negative. Thank you. I've got emtional, clingy, judgmental, and high expectations down pretty good. I think I've worked the other ones out.

I still subscribe to the compliment theory. I love ENTPs. Of course, I can see how we would be seen as overbearing. Personality development is probably the best goal.

 

[white]

I was looking for a list of some INFJ traits that could be perceived as negative. Thank you. I've got emtional, clingy, judgmental, and high expectations down pretty good. I think I've worked the other ones out.
I still subscribe to the compliment theory. I love ENTPs. Of course, I can see how we would be seen as overbearing. Personality development is probably the best goal.

*twitches*

*backs away from INFJs slowly*

YoungGun, what "waste" does the N cause, that being an S would make it better? That you're more easily understood?

 

[YoungGun2112]

*twitches*

*backs away from INFJs slowly*

YoungGun, what "waste" does the N cause, that being an S would make it better? That you're more easily understood?

I don't live enough in the here and now, but with my own, independent schemes and ideas that the N causes. Not that doing so is a bad thing, but it has taken me to a point at times where I neglect my chores, don't follow up on plans, and am unreliable to my friends. I don't really care so much about that socially awkward part, because my off-beat sense of humor is very much a part of me and my personality to others, but I think that I would be better served not having my head in the clouds and being down to earth.

I think becoming more of a Extp fixes a lot of my mistakes. I am just going to start becoming more of a doer, and following up on everything, carrying out plans, etc.

 

[Kiddo]

*twitches*

*backs away from INFJs slowly*

YoungGun, what "waste" does the N cause, that being an S would make it better? That you're more easily understood?

You shouldn't think the worst of those perceptions. Being emotional, clingy, judgmental, and having high expectations can be good or bad depending upon how they are expressed. For example, I've very sympathetic and passionate about people, I'm protective of those who are important to me, I stand by my values, and I expect a lot from myself. Of course, there are also the negative implications of those things, but developing your personality is all about knowing where your faults lie.

 

[Kiddo]

I think becoming more of a Extp fixes a lot of my mistakes. I am just going to start becoming more of a doer, and following up on everything, carrying out plans, etc.

Wouldn't you want to develop your J then? Or more specifically your Te and Fi?

 

[miss fortune]

For more whining on ENTP-ness you can check this out if you want!

 

[Domino]

I think being a primary Intuitive pretty much precludes any concrete "here and now"-ness. It seems my mind is either thrown distantly behind me or catapulted far into the future, "next-ing" constantly like a speed reader.

I was under the impression that of the N types, ENTs had the better grasp of "now".

 

[mkay]

I classify myself as an ENTP. One of my biggest problems in life, which comes a lot from my type, is that I like to deal with the abstract, future, and theory. I am not "for" jumping out there and getting too involved in life, or the moment, and am often living in the theory of what hasn't happened yet. This has led to a few problems. I neglect the moments in my life that bring me tons of joy, like spending time with friends and family, having an adventure, and just living, because I am very independent and enjoy the times I can do my own thing and not get too wrapped up in the moment.

The same personality characteristic mentioned above, also causes laziness ony my part. I can get frustrated with situations, get caught up in my own thing, or just stop trying because I am really not a "doer" but more of an "inventor", and neglect the chores in my life that need to be done. ...

I reason that a lot of these problems stem from my emphasis on the N characteristic.

I think you're misattributing type to characteristics you dislike. There are plenty of lazy, unfocused people in the world, across all types. ... Not that I don't enjoy sitting on my keister, but I'm an ENTP who works hard, for instance. My INTJ husband does, too.