[Type 3] 3w4 and so/sp ... overly competitive/narcissistic?

[mrcockburn]

If you've got either of these components or both (high five btw ), do you find that maybe you obsess a little too much over your image and dignity?

For instance, I'm not high maintenance, but I HAVE to be groomed and look good otherwise I hate others to see me and I cannot be comfortable. As for behavior, I've got this need to ALWAYS remain poised. I hate being associated with anyone causing a scene in public or otherwise embarrassing me. I guard my dignity with my LIFE. haha

And in whatever endeavor I'm undertaking, I cannot stand being "average". It sounds conceited as hell, but I want to be the best - and for others to know it. LOL

If I know I can't compete, I unfortunately give up. I HATE looking stupid or incompetent. And I'm always making excuses for my incompetence, not good.

Maybe it's the whole ENTP one-upmanship thing or maybe it's simple narcissism. But it's just too much obsession and stress. I'm the type who wants to know what the class average is so I can compete with everyone. And I benchmark myself as an employee against the other ones when it comes to who's the best. And it's not cool of me, but I've done things to lightly sabotage others' success if I was competing with them.

Anyway, if you've had the same problem, how did you get over it? While STILL remaining the best? It's just too much stress to constantly worry about this.

 

[mrcockburn]

And it's not like I was even raised this way. lol

My parents always told me that "life is not a contest". But it is to me.

 

[Chloe]

relate to parts. i am 3w0 and sx/sp........ and yeah, image consciousness blahblah is very tiring and managed to get rid of that to some degree and it's good.

Anyway, if you've had the same problem, how did you get over it? While STILL remaining the best? It's just too much stress to constantly worry about this.

it helped me to figure out and accept that i was never the best you know? it's just your perception, your isolated thinking, fantazy. we are all fucking dying and we are all in this together, no way you can "win them".(this is how i view it)
it's also very great feeling, to get a bit grounded. liberating.
for example; when i see girl that i admit is prettier than me, i feel better often, feels good not to have that pressure to be The Best..

i gained some other things before i could lose that (image,success), more real self respect i guess.


they say that 3s are prone to big crises, more than other types, especially in mid age, because when they figure they are not always the winners.... i guess i had mine earlier.

i know i am 3 and i was competitive before but not anymore, not in that way or amount... ego surrender?


i've seen suggested in books to ask yourself "who am i if i dont have image? if i am not chasing success?" - it can be frightening response, ... like.. for a while you think you dont have much if you get rid of the chase... that's how much your e type has power over you

edit: wow, just figured that most things i described actually sound like integrating type 6. hah, good news