i mean, i do think this thread is valuable, and it is a rehash of many things that have happened so many times before, but in a sense it is learning how to deal with the Fe/Fi divide and work thru conflicts in a constructive way. most of us need the practice, and being able to explicate and balance perspectives and be in it all at once is kind of fucking awesome.
i also agree with yui's point. and i'm not sure if that is part of where peacebaby is coming from. at times, i know peacebaby wants to help facilitate, appreciates seeing both sides of conflicts, and values improving communication. i do trust that, even as, at times, i have a little bit of inner resistance when it feels like her process prioritizes Fi/Te needs over Fe/Ti ones. it's at this point where i think it's maybe useful to actually better understand the assumptions. i have guesses and would love additional feedback/conversation about them.
for one, i think Fi generally will prioritize the individual. and so there's kind of a gang-up situation brewing, and making sure both sides are heard and that that individual is protected and validated too might be the highest pressing priority. there is a more direct reality to many vs one than one saying irresponsible generalizations from a place that isn't actually aiming to hurt any one individual but is more about there own emotionally charged state. in that way, demanding an apology that goes extra far, as jui pointed out, is more of a direct interpersonal shit move, and in a way is more problematic. instead of just getting an acknowledgment, there might be a desire for shaming the behavior too, which really isn't helpful. once shame is triggered, however, a blame state is really difficult to avoid. giving energy to all those ways you blame yourself, at some point, loses containment and becomes a bit of a shit-show. in this way, it's partly an infj thing with Fe oftentimes having especially intense challenges with boundaries, but it's also a really high sensitivity thing, which oftentimes gets pushed back on the sensitive person and does result in them internalizing a lot of blame for being sensitive in the first place. few things are as much of a trap as this. i'm sure so many of us on this board recognize that process in action and have at times felt strangled by it.
it does get more complicated, too, when the fact that this isn't really driven (at least i don't think) by an interpersonal conflict so much as a political one, where the board is kind of negotiating expectations for how interactions should go and what kinds of considerations and respects should be required. i think, in some ways, we are exploring in kind of a microcosm how our ways of contributing and our perspectives relate to larger social spaces, and there is a deeper element in recognizing that social/cultural spaces are tinged with typological biases as well that do become real gradients for us to express ourselves and ask to be valued for what we do/are. i think hel did such an amazing job of articulating that lazy generalizations DO matter, but, at the same time, there were moments of unsympathetic reading too that brought up issues about how we are accountable to generalizations when we both write and read. i think more conversation or explanation from this could be helpful.