sarah
soft and silky
- Joined
- Sep 3, 2008
- Messages
- 548
- MBTI Type
- isfp
This probably isn't the best place for this, but I feel like I ought to at least explain myself, since I've been asked to...
It's not just that it's a new year, and at this time I always feel the need to make some changes that I think will help me accomplish my goals and give me time to do things I really want to do. Although that may be part of it. I'm simply not enamored of the way many people use psychological type, and am no longer interested in logging in every day to read complaints and generalizations which have no substance behind them, and I've noticed that responding to these posts mostly only gets me damned as being politically correct or oversensitive. It's a shame that being fair, honest and sensitive to how type is used is thought by many to be a detriment rather than an asset.
I believe it's true that you catch more flies with honey, and maybe I haven't been diplomatic enough in this forum. I admit I do have a quick temper, (although it dissipates pretty fast) and I also admit that I have a hard time suffering fools gladly. I think in this instance, the people I don't care to have anything more to do with are those who have chosen to use pscyhological type as a weapon to bash "types" of people who have hurt them in the past (and they're quick to label whole types as being a problem, never just individuals), or people who would rather complain about their relationships or communication problems than actually take steps to make things better.
I passionately believe that the only positive way of using type is to see it as a tool that informs you as to the best way to ask the right kinds of questions, and also frame people's responses in a positive way. It also seems obvious that most of what's labeled as type-related really isn't. Your ex-boyfriends' messy habits, your bosses lack of thoughtfulness, your best friends' flightiness, your mother's bossiness, etc., is probably related more to what they grew up with and what's going on in their individual lives, not their "type code". I suspect most of what people like to believe is type-related is actually just the result of individuals we know having lived at a certain time, in a certain place, under certain circumstances, and that if type had anything to do with the expression of these behavior traits, it influenced the motives behind the expression of them, not the behavior itself. Yes, I believe there are observable patterns of behavior and that this is to some degree related to type (as Keirsey would say), but patterns that relate to temperament are not the same thing as patterns of contextual behavior. It seems to me that the more you actually learn and understand about type, the less you see it as being about labeling contextual behavior, and the more you begin to understand what's meant by the core needs and values that drive people, and the better you can understand that each set of needs and values are valuable, good, and worth including people of each type in your life as much as possible, because diversity is good.
I'm done reading forum posts for the reasons I mentioned, but I wanted to say I've really enjoyed some of the conversations I've had here, and that I really would rather just privately use type in a way that I feel is positive rather than log in every day to see the same old gripes related to contextual behavior being linked to type codes. Anyone who feels like talking with me about type is welcome to send me a PM (I'll get email notification of it) and I will gladly respond, as I've enjoyed meeting a number of people here.
(I will not, however, be responding to anyone who just wants to start a fight or diss me for being politically correct.)
It's not just that it's a new year, and at this time I always feel the need to make some changes that I think will help me accomplish my goals and give me time to do things I really want to do. Although that may be part of it. I'm simply not enamored of the way many people use psychological type, and am no longer interested in logging in every day to read complaints and generalizations which have no substance behind them, and I've noticed that responding to these posts mostly only gets me damned as being politically correct or oversensitive. It's a shame that being fair, honest and sensitive to how type is used is thought by many to be a detriment rather than an asset.
I believe it's true that you catch more flies with honey, and maybe I haven't been diplomatic enough in this forum. I admit I do have a quick temper, (although it dissipates pretty fast) and I also admit that I have a hard time suffering fools gladly. I think in this instance, the people I don't care to have anything more to do with are those who have chosen to use pscyhological type as a weapon to bash "types" of people who have hurt them in the past (and they're quick to label whole types as being a problem, never just individuals), or people who would rather complain about their relationships or communication problems than actually take steps to make things better.
I passionately believe that the only positive way of using type is to see it as a tool that informs you as to the best way to ask the right kinds of questions, and also frame people's responses in a positive way. It also seems obvious that most of what's labeled as type-related really isn't. Your ex-boyfriends' messy habits, your bosses lack of thoughtfulness, your best friends' flightiness, your mother's bossiness, etc., is probably related more to what they grew up with and what's going on in their individual lives, not their "type code". I suspect most of what people like to believe is type-related is actually just the result of individuals we know having lived at a certain time, in a certain place, under certain circumstances, and that if type had anything to do with the expression of these behavior traits, it influenced the motives behind the expression of them, not the behavior itself. Yes, I believe there are observable patterns of behavior and that this is to some degree related to type (as Keirsey would say), but patterns that relate to temperament are not the same thing as patterns of contextual behavior. It seems to me that the more you actually learn and understand about type, the less you see it as being about labeling contextual behavior, and the more you begin to understand what's meant by the core needs and values that drive people, and the better you can understand that each set of needs and values are valuable, good, and worth including people of each type in your life as much as possible, because diversity is good.
I'm done reading forum posts for the reasons I mentioned, but I wanted to say I've really enjoyed some of the conversations I've had here, and that I really would rather just privately use type in a way that I feel is positive rather than log in every day to see the same old gripes related to contextual behavior being linked to type codes. Anyone who feels like talking with me about type is welcome to send me a PM (I'll get email notification of it) and I will gladly respond, as I've enjoyed meeting a number of people here.
(I will not, however, be responding to anyone who just wants to start a fight or diss me for being politically correct.)