Meek
New member
- Joined
- Apr 26, 2011
- Messages
- 288
- MBTI Type
- Infp
- Enneagram
- 4w5
I agree with this..... the people who counsel drug addicts through rehab & whatnot are not emotionally involved for a reason (not involved the way a family member would be anyway). If they're acting out of love, it's a love for humanity in general, not a personal love. When family/close friends are involved in such affairs, it often is just an expression of concern & love on their part to let the person know they are valued so they feel motivated to make changes (ie. interventions).
I think there's a big difference between being firm & "tough love", which I see as abrasive, insensitive & coming from a selfish place. It's someone who doesn't want to be bothered or won't accept responsibility for some monster they creates, not a genuine interest in guiding a child or partner or whoever it is that needs some structure & emotional support.
Agreed. A major role of the parent is to teach love, not to teach that the world is unkind. Everyone learns that fast enough, but they often don't learn is how to show love, compassion, sympathy, concern, etc.
I wonder if those kids who laugh on the playground are being taught to be insensitive, without compassion, unloving, etc, because their parents think it's "tough love". I saw kids on the playground reach out to others when hurt; so not all are taught the same.
I think this depends on the form of discipline. Discipline does not simply mean to punish or impose rules, but to teach & train how to deal with existing structure in the world & that there are consequences for negative actions. This can be done so lovingly of course. It doesn't have to be harsh or insensitive or squash individuality.
I think love requires discipline when it comes to raising children but I think a parent can be understanding & still correct their child. Often, this makes the child more receptive to discipline anyway.
Ah, sorry, didn't specify. I meant that disciplining with tough love by yelling at your child for doing drugs is not love.
Sitting a child in time out is making it so they learn from their mistakes. I wish I had more time outs as a kid :/