[MENTION=11809]unsung[/MENTION]
My observations are basically what you've been pointing to: ESFPs are far more carnal and into the purely physical side of sex (let's call it "sex as sport") n whereas ENFPs tend to be far more spiritual about sex, and almost have a sort of disdain for the purely physical side of sex. I'm not saying it lines up 1:1, but I've seen too many corroborating points of evidence to not say it's a tendency.
That being said, I have seen ENFPs who were more into the purely physical side of sex, one was an 8, and I believe the other was a 2. In part because of this different orientation towards sex than I see in most other ENFPs, I still hold out that either one might have been an ESFP. But I think they both were indeed ENFPs.
I think the male vs female divide is considerable. As they say: "men are visual creatures". I just had an ENFP buddy of mine in town, and he definitely talks of sex in a typical "man way". At the same time, tho, he's very physically awkward, so, well, at least in the past (less so now, I suppose), the idea of him actually sexually satisfying/ravishing a woman seemed... unlikely.
Another thing to note: all the ENFPs who have expressed this sentiment are sx 7s, and all the theorists say that that subtype romanticize sex and relationships to such a significant degree, it's like they look to the heavens when it comes to romance, and anything less than that ideal is not fully satisfying. As such, of the three subtypes of 7, they are actually considered the least sexual (with sp 7s taking that mantle).