cafe
Well-known member
- Joined
- Apr 19, 2007
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- 9w1
We did the same with Santa and some of our kids did as your son did and believed in him anyway. We told them about the man the tradition is based on a bit.We've always been honest about Santa and the tooth fairy, or asked, "what do you think?" etc. We have let him take the lead, but when flat out asked, I tell the truth. He's six, we've never told him Santa was real, in fact we've told him the opposite when he asked, but he decided he believes in Santa Claus anyway. So there you have it...
We did/do a lot of the traditions sans mythical creatures. We color and hunt Easter eggs (all three teenagers still like participating along with their younger brother) but they know it's dad and I who are out hiding the eggs and they get baskets and/or candy. I don't put the tooth fairy money under the pillow, but I do give them money for lost teeth. They have generally been pretty happy with the arrangement as far as we can tell.
I did actually find it pretty disappointing to discover there was no Santa and felt deceived, but it was in a greater context of deception.
If one of my kids asks about something I try to explain it the best I can and if I think they need to know about stuff, I tell them. Too much information can be as bad as too little/incorrect information. If I don't know the answer to something, I tell them that, too. And sometimes I tell them several different schools of thought if it's something based on opinion.
I'm also dealing with autism with my sons. I know they are capable of blurting things out at inopportune times, so I take that into consideration. I also take into consideration that they often see things in a very black and white way, so the relative value of truth is not always there -- a lie is a lie is a lie to them. There aren't little and big lies or malicious/harmless/polite lies . . . yet. And I spend time explaining that while we may not think something is important, people have to be humored to some degree and explaining/translating social concept that other kids often grasp intuitively.