Quinlan
Intriguing....
- Joined
- Apr 6, 2008
- Messages
- 3,004
- MBTI Type
- ISFP
- Enneagram
- 9w1
pt mostly answered it for the professional setting. When I first read the OP, Not2bforgot10 came off to me as more intent on self-expression than helping the patient in the therapist office. It's not about her...if she knows that several facial piercings and multicolored hair or whatever is going to turn off her clients then I'd think if she's truly there for them and not for herself she'd change her outward appearance.
I actually think she is quite brave and unselfish (if a little idealistic) in her attitude, she wants to change perceptions starting with herself, that is bold and admirable. It's about individuals being people, before anything else. To pretend that all therapists are inwardly the same because they all share the same outward appearance is just wrong. Pretending that professionals are professionals before people, is completely unrealistic.
There are so many venues available for self-expression so to me the question is when and where to express myself, not should if it be done at all. What's practical for your place of employment? I go to the hair salon and all the stylists have funky hair colors and styles and that's totally alright. My job is pretty casual so jeans and suits aren't out of place, but we still have a dress code. If someone comes in like they're about to get on a pole, that's totally out of place. At that point it's not about self-expression to me, it's just I'm going to do what I want to do regardless of anyone else.
All I'm saying is that ideally abilty should rate much higher than appearance in most jobs but so often it just goes to show that conformity is very highly valued.
Yes, I do prefer someone who's upfront about themselves but it's not like someone who's in a suit isn't being upfront about themselves either. This also kind of relates to why I started the maturity thread, because I think a big part of being a mature person is seeing yourself as others see you and realizing the ramifications (positive or negative) of your actions.
How do you do this by the way? Without asking others directly and coming across as selfabsorbed? I'm curious.
Personally, I can related a lot to what the OP says. I have dreadlocks in my hair and my parents swear up and down that it's going to harm my career. Absolutely nothing anyone can say would make me change my hair. So I do understand those non-negligible parts of yourself that people either have to take or leave. If my hair stops me from getting a job then that's something I'm prepared to deal with and maybe that's not where I want to work.
But why should hair be a barrier at all? Why should you have to change something that is so irrelevant to your ability to do the job. It's hair not a (dis)qualification.