elizabeththeauthor
New member
- Joined
- Aug 13, 2016
- Messages
- 1
- MBTI Type
- ENFP
I wanted to know if any of you have gone through this as ENFPs, or have an insight on the issue from an outside perspective. I'm a relatively young woman (19) and I have been struggling with self esteem issues for about seven years now. It was not awful growing up, but got much worse for me in high school. I was considered "popular", as I have heard most ENFPs were in high school. I had lots of friends, and many friends who were considered to be in the "in-crowd." I floated around, from that group to my swimming club friends and so on. I had many great friends, my problem was always self image and the way I perceived myself in high school. From a very young age, I knew that I was not pretty in comparison to my friends. The majority of my friends are blonde haired, blue eyed, and very beautiful girls (inside and out.) While being friends with them has made me a better person (helped me become more social, increased my skills in hobbies, etc.), I always found myself comparing the way I looked and acted to them. These two girls in particular, lets call them Carol and Emma, were my closest friends from that group. Both blonde, both skinny, both with big gorgeous white smiles, and both with very nice and attractive boyfriends. Me, on the other hand, frizzy auburn hair, pale, not so skinny, a smile that barely shows under my upper lip, a large roman nose, and no boyfriend, had trouble hanging out with them in high school because it would make me very depressed. I had been rejected by every guy I had been interested in during High School, but the one that hurt the most was when one boy said to me "You're a nice girl, and very funny (my name). I admire your intelligence, but you're just not pretty enough to date. If you acted like you, but looked like Carol, I'd date you." It took a huge toll on me, mentally and emotionally. I hate looking at myself in the mirror, and find that I am now hyper-vigilant in social situations because Im afraid someone is judging me and that I'm not good enough. ENFPs are supposed to radiate self-confidence, so I don't really understand what's wrong with me. I don't feel pretty, I don't feel confident, and I just don't feel bubbly or outgoing anymore. Any advice or similar stories? I'm not really sure what to do...