flossyglam
New member
- Joined
- Sep 11, 2010
- Messages
- 9
- MBTI Type
- ENTP
- Enneagram
- 7w6
(This is a slightly modified post from another thread once suchirony suggested ISFP)
While I am technically his older sister, my ISFP brother and I have more of a parent/child dynamic (our mother being virtually absent and a span of 10 years between us). He is now entering high school and I am at a loss as to how to consistently motivate him.
He is a very sweet natured, soft-hearted kid that seems to always complain that he doesn't get enough notice/credit/recognition from authority figures (particularly our INTP father who is kind but aloof). He seems to need constant hand-holding and praise to get even basic things done (simple chores, turning in homework, etc).
He is very peer-motivated, non-competitive, and group oriented in a way that boggles my mind because I can't recall craving a similar amount of need for group approval even in high school. While he is pleased to be the center of attention, he is slow to take initiative and quick to shun responsibility (very unlike myself and my sister). He is quite helpful when he feels like he is constantly interacting and contributing with a person or group, but completely incompetent when you give him a set of directions with expectations that he complete the task without supervision/alone.
Additionally, he seems to be irrationally sensitive at times. He will draw conclusions like "My teacher doesn't like me because she told me I need to turn in my homework." or "Dad doesn't love me because he didn't notice that I took out the trash." He struggled until recently with the concept that a direct request doesn't mean the person is angry or upset with him.
He loves, loves music, art, and animals (cats in particular) and expresses a strong interest in decorating/beautifying the house--kind of unusual for a 14 year old boy I think (nothing wrong with that though!).
If I were to type him in Harry Potter terms, he is very Hufflepuff (minus the work ethic--where did that go??).
My concerns are; How can I motivate him to act independently? How can I help him develop leadership? How can I communicate with him more effectively? How can I encourage him without giving "false praise"?
I would love input from anyone, particularly other ISFPs (help me understand your personality!) and parents/mentors of ISFPs.
While I am technically his older sister, my ISFP brother and I have more of a parent/child dynamic (our mother being virtually absent and a span of 10 years between us). He is now entering high school and I am at a loss as to how to consistently motivate him.
He is a very sweet natured, soft-hearted kid that seems to always complain that he doesn't get enough notice/credit/recognition from authority figures (particularly our INTP father who is kind but aloof). He seems to need constant hand-holding and praise to get even basic things done (simple chores, turning in homework, etc).
He is very peer-motivated, non-competitive, and group oriented in a way that boggles my mind because I can't recall craving a similar amount of need for group approval even in high school. While he is pleased to be the center of attention, he is slow to take initiative and quick to shun responsibility (very unlike myself and my sister). He is quite helpful when he feels like he is constantly interacting and contributing with a person or group, but completely incompetent when you give him a set of directions with expectations that he complete the task without supervision/alone.
Additionally, he seems to be irrationally sensitive at times. He will draw conclusions like "My teacher doesn't like me because she told me I need to turn in my homework." or "Dad doesn't love me because he didn't notice that I took out the trash." He struggled until recently with the concept that a direct request doesn't mean the person is angry or upset with him.
He loves, loves music, art, and animals (cats in particular) and expresses a strong interest in decorating/beautifying the house--kind of unusual for a 14 year old boy I think (nothing wrong with that though!).
If I were to type him in Harry Potter terms, he is very Hufflepuff (minus the work ethic--where did that go??).
My concerns are; How can I motivate him to act independently? How can I help him develop leadership? How can I communicate with him more effectively? How can I encourage him without giving "false praise"?
I would love input from anyone, particularly other ISFPs (help me understand your personality!) and parents/mentors of ISFPs.