Saslou
New member
- Joined
- Feb 1, 2009
- Messages
- 4,910
- MBTI Type
- ESFJ
I've done my thinking and taken notes from you guys
I am going to -
Encourage instead of coming across as critical/judgmental
Not take his words to serious
Allow him more space/time alone especially online
Let him enjoy his dark side, lol, instead of trying to promote a healthier outlook (he'll do that in his own time)
Place less expectations on him and be more patient
At the end of the day he'll only tell me what i need to know so by being true to myself and giving this relationship my all, if it doesn't work out due to mistrust/deception, at least i can walk away (should it happen) knowing i couldn't of done any more.
I can't say fairer than that.
Thank you for that
Oh, he is never wrong. He has a way with words that even if he does get caught out (i pay attention to detail), he just turns it around. Although he has stated that if he is wrong, he'll admit to it, he has never admitted it to me, lol. I am not going to take it seriously anymore, i can't.
I suppose it is not really important anyway .. In the grand scheme of things.
I am going to -
Encourage instead of coming across as critical/judgmental
Not take his words to serious
Allow him more space/time alone especially online
Let him enjoy his dark side, lol, instead of trying to promote a healthier outlook (he'll do that in his own time)
Place less expectations on him and be more patient
At the end of the day he'll only tell me what i need to know so by being true to myself and giving this relationship my all, if it doesn't work out due to mistrust/deception, at least i can walk away (should it happen) knowing i couldn't of done any more.
I can't say fairer than that.
I've been with an INFP for a little over a year now, and I'd like to share my experience.
I have to admit that at the beginning of the relationship I was perplexed by this kind of 'talk', too. To me, words are pretty binding, and if I say to someone I'm going to do something, I intend to do it. My INFP said a lot of things -- good and bad -- for example, that he was going to drop out of college, that he was going to become an alcoholic, that he was going join the monastery, that he was going to quit smoking (yep). He said all this in a non-joking manner, so at first I panicked. I started a lot of discussions about why he should and shouldn't do something. Then, later, I realized that he wasn't even that serious. He was simply voicing out whatever idea Ne throws at him and his Fi agrees with at the moment. So it's more like "This sounds like a good idea" rather than "I'm definitely going to do this".
One thing I notice is that for J types, a lot of things are very carefully deliberated so that by the time they come out in reality, there is already some degree of stability to it. P types seem to be more okay with doing/saying something, then taking back their words or admitting it doesn't work or that they are wrong.
However, for more serious matters, like getting a job, I think your INFP knows he should be doing something. That's why he keeps talking about it. But being jobless AND heartbroken (from his last relationship) is very depressing. Maybe he just doesn't have the strength yet. I've learned that INFPs do get things done, and you can help them with a (very) gentle nudge in the right direction. But if you start pressing, they seem to collapse under the weight of Te and end up being more depressed and do nothing.
Thank you for that
Oh, he is never wrong. He has a way with words that even if he does get caught out (i pay attention to detail), he just turns it around. Although he has stated that if he is wrong, he'll admit to it, he has never admitted it to me, lol. I am not going to take it seriously anymore, i can't.
I suppose it is not really important anyway .. In the grand scheme of things.