uumlau
Happy Dancer
- Joined
- Feb 9, 2010
- Messages
- 5,517
- MBTI Type
- INTJ
- Enneagram
- 953
- Instinctual Variant
- sp/so
I recon get what you're saying but I don't think I relate. My need to consider other people's feelings in everything I did was something taught and drilled into me at a young age, in a conscious way. It was taught in both an emotive and rational way so it made sense.
Who I really am and who I presented as a teen growing up were two different things but for reasons unrelated to type.
I think one thing that accentuated Fe was I naturally sought feedback and I was capable of getting positive feedback most of the time when I was young, particularly for things that involved sharing and thinking of others etc. That changed to only getting negative feedback when I was about 15. My lead functions were still Ne-Ti but I didn't express myself in a manner that would draw attention, because it would never be good.
That makes sense to me!
In my own case, my Mom was INFJ, and I grew up with simple rules such as "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all," along with more formal rules of politeness. She is also responsible for my generally good grammar. When I was 8, she was correcting me with respect to the subjective tense: "You say, 'If I were there,' not 'If I was there.'" As a result, the kids at school thought my speech patterns were odd.
Grammar or behavior ... the lessons we learn when we are young stay with us throughout our lives. I suspect that type only affects how we store such lessons in our minds.