Lightyear
New member
- Joined
- Jul 3, 2008
- Messages
- 899
I spoke to my INTJ mum on the telephone today and we were talking about how sincere kindness is one of the few things that can break through all of her barriers.
Basically she and my stepdad are going through a tough time at the moment (he recently lost his job and they are just about to buy a flat) so though I can't really do very much (we live in different countries) I sent her encouraging emails, offered her to support her financially if they get into trouble paying the bills etc. and after each email my rational, tough mum who is not afraid of a fight or a good challenge sent me back rather emotional emails, telling me how my messages made her cry.
When I asked her about that today she said that when someone challenges her she is cool with that or when someone puts on a mask of kindness in order to get something from her that is to be expected too but if someone is being sincerely kind to her without any ulterior motives that turns her emotions topsy turvey and just breaks through her all her defenses.
That reminded me of Synarch posting something similar, that he as an ENTP can deal with a lot but if someone is being sincerely kind to him he becomes kind of helpless because that's the one thing that breaks through his shell straight into his heart.
I was wondering if that is a general NT thing.
I as an NF am very much moved by sincere kindness but I wouldn't say that it makes me defenseless, being kind is my normal mode of dealing with people anyway (unless I am really stressed, then the ESTP shadow comes out ) so I am more on the other side that I am shocked when people are being heartless (though I should be old enough to know that that is how a lot of the world works)
Basically she and my stepdad are going through a tough time at the moment (he recently lost his job and they are just about to buy a flat) so though I can't really do very much (we live in different countries) I sent her encouraging emails, offered her to support her financially if they get into trouble paying the bills etc. and after each email my rational, tough mum who is not afraid of a fight or a good challenge sent me back rather emotional emails, telling me how my messages made her cry.
When I asked her about that today she said that when someone challenges her she is cool with that or when someone puts on a mask of kindness in order to get something from her that is to be expected too but if someone is being sincerely kind to her without any ulterior motives that turns her emotions topsy turvey and just breaks through her all her defenses.
That reminded me of Synarch posting something similar, that he as an ENTP can deal with a lot but if someone is being sincerely kind to him he becomes kind of helpless because that's the one thing that breaks through his shell straight into his heart.
I was wondering if that is a general NT thing.
I as an NF am very much moved by sincere kindness but I wouldn't say that it makes me defenseless, being kind is my normal mode of dealing with people anyway (unless I am really stressed, then the ESTP shadow comes out ) so I am more on the other side that I am shocked when people are being heartless (though I should be old enough to know that that is how a lot of the world works)