Also, being a Christian, I believe that only by being renewed spiritually and receiving God's salvation can we really change and be good. NFs can be bad and make mistakes too.
I never took much of a liking to this assumption that you have to be religious to be good. I have lots of personal values that I stick to for the good of myself, my loved ones, and society, but I'm not religious and I don't do it for God. I do it because it's right. Haha.
The way I see it, I don't need a book or a spirit to tell me that I should live right. I've got laws and personal values that I stick to, plus my compassion for other people. In a lot of ways I'm actually a lot more well-behaved (what some people would criticize as "religiously uptight") than a vast majority of the Christians I know. I definitely don't think you meant to imply you have to be religious to be ethical, and I'm not accusing you of that.
But a lot of people I know do tend to think that way.
Marlins, this is interesting because I open up too MUCH to people and care too much about others, and as a result, THAT has sometimes driven them away. That's probably because I don't handle my emotions well at all, and if they get too intense, I can lose all ability for tact. A lack of tact, interestingly enough, can come both from not caring about others but ALSO caring way too much (especially when you're not sure of the best way to approach the situation). I deal with a lot of conflict in my life (pretty unusual for an NF, from what I'm hearing). Your lack of sensitivity is very alien to me unfortunately, but maybe if you tried to get closer to some people...? It sounds like people might have hurt you a lot in the past, so you've developed an emotional wall. Try to give others what deep down you really want. You've said that you "sincerely" want to change, which shows you DO have compassion and ARE human.
Start with your actions, what you KNOW is right, and then maybe the feelings will follow...?
Just putting the suggestion out there. I honestly am not sure if I know what I'm talking about...or if I'm being helpful at all.
I learned this from the CEO of my old job....chant "Act enthusiastic & you will be enthusiastic" over and over again (but like you really mean it)....as cheesy as it sounds it really seems to work.
I'm always enthusiastic...chanting can be so much fun! Also singing really loud and giving random hugs to friends. Lol