Relationship styles vary most importantly in areas that have been defined and quantified already. This would be things like attachment style, love languages, that sort of thing. But at least as important is personal development and maturity. [MENTION=4489]zago[/MENTION] points out that it's "so easy to say things," but in reality the plans fall apart in execution. Eventually, with work and patience and growth, we reach the level of understanding of relationship dynamics that you see in [MENTION=10496]skylights[/MENTION]' post, and then you go on to find someone who you can discuss these matters openly with, and then the plans don't fall apart in execution. If the relationship isn't going to work, both of you see it coming, talk about it like adults, deal with it, and move on. This is why the other night on Vent I was talking about how I wouldn't advise anyone get married in their early 20s. I don't think people are equipped to make life-long commitments yet.
[MENTION=16476]badger055[/MENTION], you sound very frustrated, and whether it was her intention or not, [MENTION=9811]Coriolis[/MENTION] is giving you brilliant advice on the lack of communication within your relationships that you've demonstrated.
It's OK to get into a relationship and say, "I feel excited and happy about being near you." That's a natural feeling in the beginning of a relationship, and yes, relationships do go in cycles. There's that New Relationship Energy, then there's being in love where most people don't think about other partners, then there's a slower-burning deep commitment phase which is more relaxed and reflective, and has a more realistic perspective on who you've committed to. Many, many relationships break down at that phase, because the feeling changes so much, and people aren't prepared for it... they think they've fallen out of love, or have changed in some way.
So anyway, I'm wandering off a bit I think. My point is that the opening section of a relationship is very exciting and fun, but it's important to apply the brakes a bit and take in the scenery if you want it to last.
I get the feeling that people are afraid to talk about this stuff with people they're involved with, like it will "spoil the romance" or frighten someone away. I guess there's an amount of vulnerability to talking plainly about your feelings, but as I see it, if you want a relationship that lasts and lasts, you want to be able to have that vulnerability together. It feels awesome to show that and have someone appreciate it.
Sorry ISTJ guy but we don't speak the same language. I clash like crazy with ISTJs so I suggest you shield your eyes from my posts if you want to keep your nice world view intact.
Anyways I decided to hell with relationships. I seem to do better on a friend level but anything beyond that I'm not comfortable maintaining. Probably because I have the emotional depth of a paper clip. Starting a harem also sounds like a good idea.