Mine's an ISFP.
She's really self absorbed and always pins all her unrealistic expectations on me.
From the time I was four, she put me in stupid classes I never liked.
It started with ballet classes at four (I'm a girl ... =D) and it ended when I was ten..
After six long years of getting dragged to class after getting beaten up by her that is.
Her reason to lay a finger on me? - It's my fault for not cherishing whatever shit she threw at me, because I was living her dream.. what she wanted as a kid she couldn't get, so she threw it all at me.
Sure she was caring in her way.... though,
In all the wrong ways, with all the wrong reasons.
Paranoid and delusional? Check.
She's pretty quiet,keeps things to herself, but overbearing all the same. She would throw a silly tantrum like a child in public places - whenever you don't do as she says, irrational behavior follow soon after.
And I never had a say in anything. She would deem them as stupid. Then again, who is she to judge? Everyone has a different perception, likes, dislikes, wants and desires. She would always lament about how, "I want the best for my children!" and,
"Never let anyone look down on you!" <-- that would refer to my relatives, my father's side that is.
Oh yeah, ISFP mom and ESFP dad. Worked out terribly, I guess it wasn't because of their personality. But how stubborn they were and never sorted their issues out but built them up till one day all of it just erupted - all of the anger and pain, they would vent on the children. One's physical, the other uses mental torture.. oh right, not forgetting the excessive use of religion and condemning their kids to hell.
Oversensitive? Check.
Unreasonable? Check.
Right now? I'm still a tool for their manipulation and games for amusement.
She used to use guilt manipulation to get to me..
One moment she's all :
"Oh if I never married that lousy piece of trash, your father! I would still be well off now! If you were never born, I wouldn't have a stupid child like you!"
The next moment, she tries to smother me with "love" but really? :
"You could be so much more, if you only tried harder! If you listened to me! If you had listened to me on getting in those classes! (Oh and how she ends it off is really ironic.) I love you!".
And whenever I didn't give her a response and just hid under the bed (Because really... I can't go about saying it back to her. Why should I?), she would wait till my father was home... and they would get violent. All the lies,dirty deeds... whatever shit that made them broken... I was exposed to it all. And it was a cause-and-effect thing really, after they were done fighting he would drag me into it and it starts all over... again.
When I was a little kid, this used to make me feel guilt-ridden... It made me feel like I was never doing enough.. And that she was pitiful, my father never did his part - and she's punishing me for his mistakes.
But now I know that whatever I do is never enough for her.
The effort you put into your work? If it isn't done by HER WAY, it's trash to her. Your interests? If it's seen as ridiculous to her, it's trash to her.
The A's you get in school, she would compare them with others - relatives and friends.
But why do I care about that anymore really? I don't.. yet the road ahead is still so rocky and danger still lies.
I'm not even sure if I can ever prove to this damn dysfunctional family that I'm worth something ... maybe throw loads of money in her gullible face and walk off. We'll see.
Manipulative? Check.
Maybe it's just her and not any other ISFPs ofcourse, I've always had the idea that she had afew mental illnesses... but she never visits a shrink. She's stubborn... a very overbearing woman.
I'm probably as damaged as her, but there's one thing I know... and it's that I'll never be how she was to her kids.
I'd be a good mother. Whatever their personality is, I will accept them.. let them have their own say, and just guide them along the way... Sometimes ignorance is bliss. And if children can't be children, what's the point of a childhood?
Everyone's an individual, so treat them as that - and not pin your silly delusional desires on them.
One day... I will be free. I may not always succeed in whatever I do, But I like to think I try... and If I don't, I'm young.. unattached... not a burden to anyone.. I do have afew close friends, but they'll live if I'm gone... what's there to lose really?
So yeah, this NT's mother is one hell of a "role model".