EJCC
The Devil of TypoC
- Joined
- Aug 29, 2008
- Messages
- 19,129
- MBTI Type
- ESTJ
- Enneagram
- 1w9
- Instinctual Variant
- sp/so
You are very lucky. The times I cry, like I said in my last post, are a result of many types of emotions, all built up. I am NOT being manipulative when I cry, because I didn't want to be crying in the first place. I'm not using it - it's using me. It's... automatic. And it can be humiliating.And that's where the difference lies. I cry when I am legitimately sad about something, so it's news to me that other people don't. I assume it's this way for most of the men who feel manipulated. I mean, I laugh when happy not angry. I eat when hungry, not bored... same principle.
The manipulative criers I've met were both doing so just to get some attention. Both of them succeeded in getting a hug from me, and sympathetic words. It wasn't for any material gain. I have NEVER met a woman who did anything like, say, crying to get out of speeding tickets. Also, I should add that those two women who manipulated me... had troubled pasts, to say the very least. One of them especially - I'm sure it was horrible, but she's a compulsive liar, so I have no idea how much of what she's told me was true (although her friends have told me that her parents essentially did nothing - it was like everyone in her family lived alone, and did their own thing, and never spoke to one another. All through her childhood.) So because of this, I don't think you should use me as evidence.The example you give is extreme. What about the example of women who cry to get out of speeding tickets? I've met a number of those. They are happy to admit it. And Sanveane has also given examples. Runvardh has referred (albeit vaguely) to having had experience with manipulative-criers. As has Alcea Rosea. And EJCC. And Berberella.
You know, there's another thread that cites an article (written by a man) where one of the main points is that, supposedly, women need entertainment, and they'll do whatever they have to do (emotional manipulation, cheating on their spouse) to get it. I find that male paranoia similar to the things that JJJ has been saying - i.e. a big claim full of suspicion with hardly any evidence to support it. Sure, you know a few women who brag about fake crying to get (out of doing) things. Before saying that, therefore, a large percentage of women do this, there are other things to take into consideration. Do you think where you live has anything to do with it? All the women who have told you that they fake cried to get something - would you say that they're manipulative people in general? Do you think some of them may have been lying, to impress you?
To answer your question, fidelia - I don't know if type has much to do with which women will do this sort of thing (although I'll bet that unhealthy ESFPs have an advantage). There are so many other factors, you know? HOWEVER, I'll bet that NTs are the most likely to be paranoid about crying as manipulation, because they don't relate to crying in many circumstances.