Not that I'm knocking it, but I have to pay attention to what's actually being said to "pick up on their personal priorities".
Oh, yeah. What's being said is, of course, a factor, but it's never the whole story.
A few days ago, I had a meeting with two of my business partners. One is a solid, straightforward businessman; the other works directly with me on medical research and has extensive training in the nursing field. I've worked with him for around six months, and with her for around a year.
We have an associate who has given us data that was crucial to the development of our product, but our discussion was centered around what
our rights were. Our businessman and I were primarily leading the discussion here; I was 'resonating' with his viewpoint and so the discussion was mostly 'practical and legal'. But I could tell that our nurse was getting hesitant about the direction that our discussion was headed--that our associate was seemingly getting 'cut out' in her eyes--but he clearly wanted us to stand up for our own interests.
So I clearly and plainly stated that I saw this particular moral dilemma, innately seeing whether she agreed. I then noted that this discussion wasn't about 'screwing over' our associate, but rather determining what we were
legally obligated to offer them and then working from there.
At that point, we turned the discussion to potential things that we could offer our associate in order to be 'fair', and as a 'thanks' for their help. So, on top of assuaging the 'ethical' issue at hand, we also determined that it made good business sense to offer them something and to keep a good working relationship with them.
That is what it means to analyze others' priorities and to synthesize disparate viewpoints.
Now, what did
I think about all of this, before we came to agreement? I dunno.. it really didn't even occur to me. All I really saw was what the two of them thought.
That's not always a strength, either; it certainly has its disadvantages. My psychologist once asked me what
I wanted in a partner. The question outright confused me. In fact, it was incomprehensible to me; it was as if she asked me something like, "Why does epistemology taste purple?" I'd been completely concerned with developing into the sort of person that a potential partner might value. I'd given no thought at all to my own priorities.