Snow Turtle
New member
- Joined
- May 28, 2007
- Messages
- 1,335
A little background about our relation. We have known each other for a long time online, initially with the belief that there might have been something between us in the future. However as time progressed, she realised that things weren't going to work out as she had hoped. I recall her writing something along the lines of 'Shattered Illusions' so it was evident that she was going to move on. Fast forward in time (Summer 2007), our contact drops to near-zero and in January 2009 I receive an e-mail, thanking me for having an influence on her but she needed time to herself away.
People here informed me the possability that there was alot of pressure in maintaining contact, especially since the bond was based partially on romance than just friendship. Got told that she's completely moving on, and that I'd probably never hear from her again. This september, I decide that it's been more than 9 months since I've talked to her so it'd be OK to send a general letter.
Now this is the part I don't get about her...
On my Birthday; I receive a reply back from her. The letter talks about how pleased she was to receive my letter, and that we should keep in touch more often in future. On the rare occasion that I catch her online, she ends the conversation with 'I'd love to talk more but I have to go now'. Essentially, this all gives me impression that she still wants to still be friends.
Yet, when talking to her online, often she gives the impression that she doesn't really care to chat. I find myself asking her questions constantly, only to receive back the most basic replies. The whole thing is essentially one sided, and it often makes me feel as if we're now just aquaintances. I try to rationalize the entire scenario by considering the possabilities that
a) She's naturally rather formal.
b) She doesn't really use online mediums.
c) It was past midnight on her side.
But I can't get around the fact that when I ask her if she has anything interesting happening in the future, I'm only told that there isn't really anything happening in her life, that she's just focusing on exams. Now, this wouldn't be much of a problem normally, except that I knew she was visiting the UK. I found out through my cousin who assumed that we'd naturally meet up as a group on the basis of our long-standing friendship with each other.
I just find the whole situation rather bizzare, as that'd surely be news-worthy material? Perhaps I'll find out in due time, but I get the idea that unless I raise it with her, chances are that the day will come and go without me ever finding out. If friendship works on the basis on self-disclosure, then I certainly don't get that from her anymore. Are the words just empty social 'Fe' politeness?
Tempted to confront her about the entire thing, to discuss whether she still has any interest in being friends with me. But considering that I haven't really spoken to her in so long, where the only forms of communincation is letters, it doesn't really seem appropriate as such. I'm not entirely sure how to approach this subject with her as it seems that confrontation might have more of a negative impact than positive.
But really, at this stage, I just want to know the truth.
People here informed me the possability that there was alot of pressure in maintaining contact, especially since the bond was based partially on romance than just friendship. Got told that she's completely moving on, and that I'd probably never hear from her again. This september, I decide that it's been more than 9 months since I've talked to her so it'd be OK to send a general letter.
Now this is the part I don't get about her...
On my Birthday; I receive a reply back from her. The letter talks about how pleased she was to receive my letter, and that we should keep in touch more often in future. On the rare occasion that I catch her online, she ends the conversation with 'I'd love to talk more but I have to go now'. Essentially, this all gives me impression that she still wants to still be friends.
Yet, when talking to her online, often she gives the impression that she doesn't really care to chat. I find myself asking her questions constantly, only to receive back the most basic replies. The whole thing is essentially one sided, and it often makes me feel as if we're now just aquaintances. I try to rationalize the entire scenario by considering the possabilities that
a) She's naturally rather formal.
b) She doesn't really use online mediums.
c) It was past midnight on her side.
But I can't get around the fact that when I ask her if she has anything interesting happening in the future, I'm only told that there isn't really anything happening in her life, that she's just focusing on exams. Now, this wouldn't be much of a problem normally, except that I knew she was visiting the UK. I found out through my cousin who assumed that we'd naturally meet up as a group on the basis of our long-standing friendship with each other.
I just find the whole situation rather bizzare, as that'd surely be news-worthy material? Perhaps I'll find out in due time, but I get the idea that unless I raise it with her, chances are that the day will come and go without me ever finding out. If friendship works on the basis on self-disclosure, then I certainly don't get that from her anymore. Are the words just empty social 'Fe' politeness?
Tempted to confront her about the entire thing, to discuss whether she still has any interest in being friends with me. But considering that I haven't really spoken to her in so long, where the only forms of communincation is letters, it doesn't really seem appropriate as such. I'm not entirely sure how to approach this subject with her as it seems that confrontation might have more of a negative impact than positive.
But really, at this stage, I just want to know the truth.