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Ne types, for instance, don't get what i say directly as i say it. they transform it into something else. but the process makes it real in a way that, as i experience it, it is not. i'm grateful for this- it's very grounding, albeit in a way that is not limiting, or destructive, or stuck in the mud.
That's good things you said there. I quoted that special paragraph cause it reminded me of an issue.
The issue you described I have with a special person and exactly in the moment you said "they dont get directly what I say as I say it" something in me as always rebelled cause I feel like this lone statement is wrong. And I do that because I think you cant say what you mean due to various reasons:
- one does change every second he lives, what did bug you now, may not bug you tomorrow, cause your perception changed. That doesnt mean you have no morales, ideals or security at all. It means saying for example an old woman is mean is a value assesment which can change tomorrow when you get to know that her husband died early and its what made her mad. You can now have two views on that: the 1st: you'll never get to know about the husband cause you just think she is plain mean and can go fuck herself. Or 2nd you think knowing about her husband wouldnt change that I still think she's mean. In the sense of: she could have been a good person no matter what happened, cause being a good person is what it takes.
Both attitudes do not exist in my mind but they do exist.
So I forgot what I wanted to prove but wait...
I think the main source of conflict between me and my girl is that as you said I do interpret the things she saies from her point of view. And from my point of view I totally loose track of what she really wanted to say + I feel disbanded from her cause I dont share her attitude to speak in absolutes.
I have not found a way out of this yet, but I am convincing it cant be solved by talking about it.
It's like a tautology. The one does like a thing in the other which also leads to the demise of both of them, cause uncontrolled they cant speak to each other no more.
You noticed ? I saied control, I'ld never use such words that's evil influence...
I figured for myself in the end the problem consists of two parts. The first is the miscommunication and the second is my ego.
I tried to fight my ego to not get pissed so easily but that didnt work, it made her ego so strong that my opinion became enslaved by myself.
Which lead me to the last and ultimate resolution: just be yourself. Be a man. You may love her and you may want to show her your feelings but on the same time you're a man and as one of that species you have to be the one who stays far often more calm than anyone else.
If that does cost me some expressed love with my girl or if I'ld loose some of my imaginative capabilities on the track fuck that.
Because in my opinion, many Ne types have forgotten what is the only thing they fight for and did start this whole war just because of it: and that is a well-developed longing for closure and harmony in chaos.