senza tema
nunc rosa cras fex
- Joined
- Oct 23, 2014
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That happens. Happens to me at least. Still, I think its really important to recognize that doing something is as important as refraining from something most of the time. If you are giving something up what are you going to do instead.
The idea of giving something up is supposed to be about change or changing something, like in a lot of the old religious sources that I've read it is about discipline, awareness, developing consciousness or conscientiousness.
I've seen a lot of Lenten fasts, a lot of other fasts too, which take on a character of a challenge or accomplishment but do you have any idea what that accomplishment is meant to unlock at the end of the day?
Lent isn't about achievement and self-control to me. It's about imitatio Christi, insofar as normal human beings an imitate Christ. Given that I'm not the Son of God, failure is to be expected.
In any case, I didn't resolve to go on a fast this year. I had planned instead to pray the Daily Office everyday to see if that would help with the feelings of alienation and despair. But I got too dispirited to keep it up literally the third day into Lent, I don't think I even went to church that first Sunday, I just stopped going. Now I'm angrier at God than ever. It was honestly better when I was just spiritually indifferent and didn't believe. Now I have to put up with believing, despite the evidence of my eyes, in a loving God who sacrifices for our well being. I just don't see the point in redemption in the next life when we're already in hell in this one.