I believe if I truly wanted to be in a relationship, I could be. This need for order in my life has prevented me from doing so thus far. I like to have my bases covered before proceeding with anything, else I feel out of control. There's girls in my life that I could definitely go out with, I just don't feel it's the right time. I don't like to do things half-way and I just don't want to get into it unless I can give it my all. If I can't finish what I start, then it's all just a waist of time for everyone involved.
I look at love as an investment. And as I do with any investment, I research it thoroughly. I weigh the risks vs. the rewards. And that's all I'm doing in this thread.
Coming into this thread a little late...but the above quote (especially the bolded part) struck a chord with me that I wanted to comment on. Falling in love doesn't necessarily have to be this crazy, out-of-control, all-or-nothing experience. A guy this past summer who wanted to date me made it this way, and it was terrible. He tried to jump into meshing our lives together and was really needy. It took him about 4 days to drive me insane before I literally cut as much contact as possible. I now know, that that type of relationship is not something I want.
I think part of this problem is knowing exactly the things that
you want and need in a relationship, and then finding those qualities in someone else. It involves knowing yourself to the point where you can maintain your own autonomy while at the same time allowing another to get close to you simply because being with them enhances the good parts of your life and the both of you derive enjoyment from the other's presence. I try not to look at love as this huge life-changing event (at least not initially). Take it in stride, and enjoy learning the ins and outs of someone else's life as they learn about you as well.
Despite the fact that I can't officially say I am in a relationship with this person since we haven't defined it ourselves, I have been close to an INTJ for about 6 years now, and our relationship has always been virtually stress-free and involves a lot of 1-on-1 time in which we have gotten to know each other fairly well. He's rational, not clingy, smart, calm, and easy to be around without becoming irritating. I'm not saying he's the one, but he is the kind of person that I could see myself with. My relationship with him has on occasion been a little awkward, and took a very long time to develop, but it's been totally worth it.